Amber by Heather Burnside (fb2 epub reader .txt) 📕

few minutes, Amber and Sapphire discussing what had just happened then making small talk to try to take their minds off it. Angie didn’t join in the conversation, but Amber noticed how quickly she was downing the glass of whisky she’d just bought. It was a large measure, possibly a double, and by the time she had drunk most of it her cough seemed to have eased. But Amber knew it was only a temporary reprieve.

Eventually Angie spoke but not before she had finished the last dregs of her drink. ‘Well, that’s me done. I’m off now.’

‘Where to?’ asked Amber.

‘Work. Where d’you think?’

‘It’s raining. Surely, you’re not going out in that weather with a cough like that, are you?’

‘Course I am. I’ve got no choice. Anyway, it’s not stopped me yet.’ Angie grinned back at her, but it looked forced.

When she walked away Amber flashed a look of concern at Sapphire who shrugged then resumed their conversation. But while Amber chatted, she couldn’t help but think about Angie. Her appearance. Her state of health. Her total disregard for life. She suffered from COPD, yet she still drank excessively and would probably light up a cigarette the minute she was outside. Amber knew that Angie was a sad warning to them all of how they could end up in the future.

Maybe ten years. Maybe twenty. Who knew when the drink or drugs would finally grip them in a stranglehold and the downward spiral that their lives had taken would quickly shift into high speed?

7

July 1995

Loretta heaved a sigh of relief and walked down the stairs into the living room. Thank God the kids were in bed! Having a seven-year-old and a five-year-old could be challenging and it was always good to finally unwind at the end of the day. Unfortunately, however, the evenings were also the time when she felt most lonely.

When she reached the living room, she was already reflecting on how much her life had changed during the past two years. She plonked herself down on the armchair and felt it sag beneath her. Loretta’s once immaculate and tasteful furniture was now becoming as jaded as she felt.

A look around the room confirmed to her that the furniture wasn’t the only problem. It was badly in need of an update. The wallpaper, apart from being old-fashioned, was also torn in parts. But Loretta couldn’t afford to have it redecorated and she didn’t have a clue how to go about it herself. The carpet was stained and was becoming threadbare.

Apart from the living room, all the other rooms demanded serious refurbishment. The kitchen still had the same worn-out cupboards that had wanted replacing when she moved into the house. And the bathroom was also outdated and grimy with mildew. She’d tried her best to make the home look presentable but no matter how much she scrubbed and cleaned, she couldn’t disguise the fact that the whole place needed some money spent. Neither could she get rid of the musty smell that seemed to permeate the rooms.

The house wasn’t her only concern. Loretta had never liked the area and, when she had first moved in, she had felt like an outsider. For one thing, she spoke differently to all the other people on the estate and they were quick to spot her cultured tones. She was grateful for the fact that the children had been only young when they moved. They had therefore slotted in better than they would have done if they had been at an age when children became more judgemental about different classes of people.

It would have been nice to have someone to talk to at the end of the day about how she felt but a lot of her old friends and relatives had now distanced themselves. The children had often asked why they didn’t have visits from their aunts and uncles anymore and it had been heart-breaking having to come up with convincing excuses. She still saw her parents from time to time, but they were becoming increasingly disapproving of her lifestyle.

Loretta would never have expected her life to come to this: stuck in a place she didn’t want to be and scraping an existence on benefits. She went through to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass. She’d told herself she would resist the temptation tonight, but it was difficult when the warmth of a glass of wine helped her to deal with the lack of other comforts in her life.

It would have been so easy for Loretta to have sunk into a pit of despair. But she was determined to make the best of things, for her children as well as herself. At first it had been a painful experience each time she had waited in the schoolyard for the children to come out of school while the other parents snubbed her. But eventually, with perseverance, she had made a few friends.

The woman she had connected with most was called Debbie and she was also a single mum. She wasn’t the sort of person Loretta would have chosen to befriend in her previous life. Debbie had a vulgar sense of humour and could be foul-mouthed. But she was also kind-hearted and very accepting of Loretta despite her background.

Loretta had nurtured the friendship, desperate for someone in whom she could confide and maybe find an alternative solace to her frequent glasses of wine. Their playground chats had developed to the stage where they were now popping round to each other’s homes for coffee and Loretta found herself looking forward to their get-togethers.

As she got to know Debbie, she was surprised to find out that they had more in common than she would have imagined. As well as both being full-time single mothers with young children to raise, and they were both lonely and looking for company.

Eventually, the friendship had progressed to the stage where Debbie had suggested a night out together and Loretta had welcomed it. Unfortunately, their first