A Home Like Ours by Fiona Lowe (feel good books .txt) 📕

‘Milo is.’

‘Only if Corey wants to be a father. Not every man does.’

Jade’s thoughts drifted to her own father, before veering sharply away from her darkest fears about Corey. Both stirred up feelings she didn’t want to visit, so she zeroed in on something in Helen’s voice.

‘That sounds personal?’

Helen shrugged. ‘I was married once. He said he wanted to be a father and we had a baby. After a few years he changed his mind.’

‘Did you ever meet someone else who loved you and your kid?’

Helen pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed deeply. ‘I didn’t look for one, but this isn’t about me. This is about you and Corey. Has he ever done anything to prove he wants to be involved in Milo’s life?’

Jade didn’t want to answer, because saying it out loud made it true and the truth terrified her. It meant there was no going back.

‘Men get more interested in their kids when they’re older,’ she said. ‘That’s when they do stuff with them.’

‘That sounds more like an excuse than a known fact. There are plenty of hands-on dads from day dot.’

Not in my family. But the words stayed trapped.

‘I understand when you got pregnant, Corey didn’t reject you like your mother did. That he’s hung around when it suits him, and he may have even told you things you wanted to hear. None of it means he loves you or that he wants to be a dad. If you’ve been telling yourself that he loves you the only way he knows how, then ask yourself this. Is it enough?’

Right then, Jade wanted to hate Helen for seeing into her head. For reading her thoughts.

‘He’s had it tough,’ she said.

‘And by the sounds of it, so have you. But you’re not giving Milo love and attention only when you feel like it. You’re showing up every day, no matter what, even when it’s bloody hard. You’re intelligent, funny, kind, loving and a good mum.’

Jade wanted to bask in Helen’s words, but Charlene’s voice squealed like static in her head. You’re not only a lazy bitch, you’re a slut!

‘Are you softening me up to pay less rent?’

Helen didn’t smile. ‘I mean every word. And remember, I’ve got the credentials to say it because I’ve known you for a while now and I live with you. You deserve better than the likes of Corey Noonan. But it won’t happen until you stop settling and start believing that you deserve better too.’

Jade dropped her head, uncertain if she wanted to hear Helen’s opinion or not. ‘When Milo was born, we promised each other we’d do a better job than our parents.’

‘Being a father’s so much more than contributing DNA,’ Helen said. ‘It’s being around. It’s being involved. Does Corey ever put you and Milo first? Does he ask for and value your opinion? Does he know what’s important to you? Does he share your dreams for the future? Will he help you so you can get a qualification that takes you off Centrelink? Forget his words, Jade. Words are easy. Concentrate on his actions, because that’s where you find the truth.’

Helen’s words stung like acid rain. There were too few moments when Corey acted like a father. He only ever touched her when he wanted sex and then it was all about his need to get off, never hers. Life with Corey didn’t come close to the life she’d imagined for them, but at least she didn’t have to explain why she had no money. Or why her mother had stolen from her and kicked her out. Or how her father didn’t give a rat’s about her. Corey’s family was just as useless.

Sure, Lachlan’s dad wasn’t around, but the man had died—he hadn’t chosen to abandon his kid. And Lachlan had Bob and he was close to his mum. The nearest he’d ever come to poverty and day-to-day survival was reading about it in the paper. It put him and Jade on either side of an unbridgeable gulf.

If her family and Corey, who were intimate with poverty, still managed to hurt her, there was no way Lachlan could avoid it. And in some deep dark place, she knew his hurt would be way worse, because hope was a bastard. It ate away at preservation, leaving her wide open to a surprise knife in her heart. And that terrified her.

CHAPTER

30

‘Helen! Sorry I haven’t got back to you.’ Vivian’s voice sounded strained. ‘It’s been a bit crazy here. The builder’s apprentice put a backhoe through my sewer pipe, the tiler miscalculated the order and I’ve got double the amount of imported Italian glass tiles I need, and the supplier won’t accept a return. It’s taken me years to save for this renovation and now it’s a nightmare!’

‘Sounds like it.’

‘Sorry, Helen. That was thoughtless—I shouldn’t be venting to you. My only excuse is your call came in straight after the tiler’s snafu. Are you settled in your new place?’

‘Yes, but I miss the cottage. I don’t suppose there are any plans to rewire it?’

‘I talked to Ross Barret from Parks about it. He told me that for the same money, he can put a new playground into Tranquillity Park.’

Helen considered the old battered slide and swing set that were likely a tetanus risk, and how close Milo was to climbing on the play equipment. ‘That’s fair.’

Vivian huffed. ‘I told him he was just building more hidey-holes for drug deals! That park is a disgrace and the police need to crack down on the illegal activities before we install a new playground.’

Thinking about possible deals—legal or otherwise—Helen asked, ‘What do you know about the property developer Andrew Tucker?’

‘Handsy Andy? Other than he’s pally with Geoff Rayson, not much. Why?’

‘Handsy’ explained the distance between the women and Tucker in the photo.

‘He’s been in town a bit this year,’ Helen said.

‘Once. At the business awards. Cynthia, Messina and I didn’t want him there because the sleazebag can’t keep his hands to himself,