Radley's Labyrinth for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (highly recommended books .txt) 📕

her face in his chest. She purred quietly, going limp when she fell asleep.

Holding the goblin against him, Mike let out a sigh. Tink was safe, and that was what mattered most. Now that they were reunited, he felt like a part of him had been restored, a piece he hadn’t realized was missing. He tightened his grip on the goblin, holding her as close as possible. Tink sighed, her gentle purring filling the room.

Feeling content, he closed his eyes and promised himself he wouldn’t fall asleep.

THE WORST PLACE ON EARTH 

“Did you have a good nap?”

The voice was cold, snapping Mike out of his slumber. Tink clutched him tightly, and he pushed the blankets off his head, staring at the dark figure in his room. He reached out to touch the lamp, warm light bathing the angry figure in the doorway. She stood with her arms crossed and a messenger bag slung over her shoulder.

“Uh…hi, Beth.” Mike slid sideways out of the blankets. “So, uh, I’m sure you have some questions.” Sitting up, Mike tried to keep himself covered with blankets while pulling his pants back up. Tink rolled over, pulling the blanket with her, causing Mike to fall face-first onto the floor, his bare ass in the air.

Scrambling to his feet, Mike faced away from his estate agent. What would he tell her? She didn’t look happy, and he wondered what sort of trouble she had run into in the Labyrinth. Turning around, he smiled sheepishly. Why was he so nervous around her?

“So. Apparently there’s a Labyrinth under your house.” Beth shook her head. “Do you want to take a stab at explaining to me why I am in it?”

“Well, uh…” Mike looked at Tink. He frowned, knowing that Tink was pretending to be asleep. “It’s complicated. You don’t happen to have a doll on you, do you?”

“Really? That’s the best you can do?”

“Well?”

Beth sighed. “Yeah, I have her.” She reached into the bag and pulled out Jenny. “She and I had quite the conversation a while ago, but she’s been silent since.”

“Oh, thank God.” Mike felt a sense of relief. “I was afraid that she had gotten lost in the river.”

“I’m giving you ten seconds to give me an explanation before I walk out of here.” Beth tucked Jenny away. “Last thing I remember, I was in a car accident and my intern dragged me into your house. Suddenly, I’m floating down a river.”

“Okay, look, I had a good reason for everything, I promise.” Mike’s shoulders slumped. “I was going to explain everything to you, but you fell unconscious. Jenny needed your body to show me how to get into the Labyrinth, but we got trapped. I never meant to endanger you or do anything without your permission, but there’s a crazy witch on my front lawn trying to break into my house, and I didn’t have time to wait for you to wake up.”

“Why is there a Labyrinth under your house?” Beth crossed her arms.

“It’s the Labyrinth. And we’re not technically under the house, we’re between the walls.” Mike shook his head. “Never mind that. Okay, your intern is a succubus named Lily who tried to kill me last week, but now we’re friends—well, kind of. After I moved into the house, I found a nymph, and she took part of my soul, and now I’m married to a goblin. Oh, and there’s also a banshee. And a gargoyle. And a centaur.”

“Sounds like quite the story.”

“It’s all true, I swear! I just need to help a snake woman destroy a magic artifact, and we can all go home.”

“A snake woman? You mean that lady who hypnotized me?”

“Yes! She’s one of the good guys. She just has some trust issues on account of my great aunt.”

“You are shit at telling stories,” Beth said, her body relaxing. “The gargoyle bet me fifty bucks that you wouldn’t sound like a mental case.”

“Abella has fifty bucks?”

“Not anymore.” Beth sat on the edge of the bed. “I have no idea how we got to this point, but here we are. Guess I’m a shit estate agent.”

“How do you figure?”

Beth leaned across the bed, inspecting something. “Somehow, a house full of monsters slipped by me. It’s one of those disclosures I should have mentioned.” Beth touched a green toe that had slipped out from under the blanket.

Tink immediately pulled her leg back under the cover and growled.

“I want to be mad at you for getting me involved, but I would feel like the world’s biggest hypocrite.”

“You would?”

“Mike. Monsters are real. Do you realize what this means?” Beth’s eyes shone with excitement. “Think about it. We grow up in a world of order and logic. As children, we are allowed to have fantasies that take us outside the box. We get to believe in dragons, and Santa, and Bigfoot. But when we get older, we are told that it’s time to stop imagining, to stop believing in magic. And I think, in a way, that makes that wonderful part of us die.”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that.” Mike looked at the goblin-shaped lump in the bed. “For me, I was just happy to meet someone who didn’t care that I have my own issues. It’s strange, but they feel more real to me than anyone else I know.”

Beth nodded. “I think I know what you mean. I never forgot what it meant to believe, and to see all this unfold before me…” She shivered. “It’s so damn exciting!”

“So…you’re not mad?”

“I’m madder that I thought I was going crazy.” Beth tossed her hair over her shoulder, then stood. “You’ll have to fill me in on why my memory from last week has major holes.”

“Uh…” Mike looked down at the foot of the bed. “That’s a pretty long story. I should probably go see if Ratu is done with her preparations. How is Abella?”

Beth frowned. “She’s injured. Ratu—is that the snake woman’s name? She gave me this nasty-smelling cream and had me