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that?”

β€œI have some names we can review together.”

CHAPTER 35

Why did Marwa agree to work with Safwat Shakir?

The answer could be gleaned from a few small details such as: her quizzical, suspicious look at her husband when he broached the subject; her tense, somewhat defiant smile as she preened in front of the mirror before going to the consulate; the tight blue dress that she chose in order to show the contours of her body; the strong perfume she applied behind her ears and between her breasts; the quick, surreptitious movement of her hand as she undid the top button of her dress before entering the office; and her slow movements, her sighs, and her melodious voice. She was driven by an overpowering inner desire to encourage Safwat Shakir, to give him a chance to show his true intentions. Marwa did that, not because she liked the man or because she was deviant or given to fooling around, but because she wanted to bring matters to a head, to push the story to an ending. She needed to find some certainty in her tumultuous life, which was draining her incessantly. She was tired of her hesitations and apprehensions, of her fear of divorce and her aversion to Danana. She couldn’t bear to go on living in that gray area. Her fears had either to materialize or be dispelled. No matter how cruel reality was, it was still more merciful than illusions. She realized from the first day that there was no real work for her in Safwat Shakir’s office, and that his secretary, Hasan, was handling the major tasks. It was clear that Safwat Shakir was burning with desire for her. More than once, during the day, he would call her to his office and ask her to close the door, inviting her to sit in front of him and then talking to her in an effort to win her affection, piercing her the whole time with his eyes, his voice blazing with passion that almost scorched her. At times his lust would overflow, filling the air between them, forcing him into a reluctant silence.

He wasn’t going to withstand it much longer, Marwa thought. Before long now, he was going to show his face. What was he going to do? Grab her hand? Cling to her and try to kiss her forcibly? The first and second days passed. At the end of the third, Safwat asked her to stay after hours. He went up to the small bar behind the folding screen, poured himself a drink and an orange juice for her, then went back to his chair and sat back, his eyes getting a little misty.

β€œI want to talk to you about myself.”

β€œThat’s an honor.”

β€œI am now at the peak of my professional life. I might be asked to join the cabinet as a minister at any time.”

β€œCongratulations,” she said in a cheerful voice, and then her inner plan sprang into action; she moved a little, then crossed her legs, and her dress revealed a few more details of her body. He went on in a serious tone. β€œI have gone as far as any security man can go. Perhaps you don’t know what security means in our country. It is security and no other entity that is ruling Egypt. With one word I can move the president of the Republic any way I want. I can make him change his route from one place to another or leave his palace and sleep in some other palace that I designate. One report from me can destroy the future of any official in the state.”

β€œI am beginning to feel afraid of you.”

β€œOn the contrary. I want you to depend on me.”

β€œThank you.”

β€œYour husband came to me in Washington and cried and begged me to save his future.”

β€œI know.”

β€œI am going to save him for your sake.”

β€œThank you very much.”

β€œI want you to thank me in another way.”

β€œWhat is it?”

β€œI am older and I have more experience than you. Life has taught me that an opportunity comes only once. We either seize it or lose it forever.”

β€œI don’t understand.”

β€œYou understand quite well.”

β€œWhat do you want?”

β€œI want you.”

He got up from behind the desk, walked slowly over to her, held her hand, and pulled her. She got up. He extended his arm and put it around her waist. She fidgeted but did not move away. As his cologne filled her nose he whispered, β€œYou’re beautiful.”

She moved slightly, as if objecting, which aroused him even more. He tightened his grip on her arm and said in a hoarse voice, β€œI’ll make you the happiest woman in the world.”

β€œAnd if I refuse?”

β€œYou won’t refuse.”

β€œHow do you know?”

β€œBecause you’re intelligent.”

β€œI need to think.”

Safwat looked at her, frowning and beginning to breathe heavily with desire for her. But he pulled himself together and said as he moved away: β€œYou have until tomorrow.”

MARWA WAS NOT SHOCKED OR confused. She felt neither resentment nor anger. On the contrary, she felt some relief, as if she were an investigator who had finally found uncontestable evidence to get a conviction. There she was: absolutely certain of the truth; no more doubts and no hesitation from now on. Safwat Shakir wanted her to be his mistress: he had said it explicitly. She went home and sat in the living room waiting for Danana, who as soon as he saw her realized that something had happened. He greeted her and then said with an exaggerated yawn in preparation for an escape, β€œI spent the whole day working very hard.”

β€œI want to talk to you.”

β€œLet’s postpone it until tomorrow.”

β€œIt cannot be postponed.”

She told him what had happened, taking her time, clearly enunciating Safwat Shakir’s words. She fixed him with a strong glance as she said, β€œCan you imagine how low! The one you considered your friend wants to sully your honor.”

Danana was sitting in front of her, still in his street clothes. He kept

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