The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Laurence Sterne (pdf e book reader txt) đ
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The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, a fictional autobiography of the eponymous narrator, containsâperhaps surprisinglyâlittle about either his life or opinions, but what it does have is a meandering journey through the adventures of his close family and their associates. The book is famous for being more about the explanatory diversions and rabbit-holes that the narrator takes us down than the actual happenings he set out to describe, but in doing so he paints a vivid picture of the players and their personal stories.
Published two volumes at a time over the course of eight years, Tristram Shandy was an immediate commercial success although not without some confusion among critics. Sterneâs exploration of form that pushed at the contemporary limits of what could be called a novel has been hugely influential, garnering admirers as varied as Marx, Schopenhauer, Joyce, Woolf and Rushdie. The book has been translated into many other languages and adapted for the stage, radio, and film.
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- Author: Laurence Sterne
Read book online ÂŤThe Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Laurence Sterne (pdf e book reader txt) đÂť. Author - Laurence Sterne
And what said the duchess of Suffolk to it? said my uncle Toby.
The unexpectedness of my uncle Tobyâs question, confounded Kysarcius more than the ablest advocateâ ⸺â He stoppâd a full minute, looking in my uncle Tobyâs face without replyingâ ⸺â and in that single minute Triptolemus put by him, and took the lead as follows.
âTis a ground and principle in the law, said Triptolemus, that things do not ascend, but descend in it; and I make no doubt âtis for this cause, that however true it is, that the child may be of the blood and seed of its parentsâ ⸺â that the parents, nevertheless, are not of the blood and seed of it; inasmuch as the parents are not begot by the child, but the child by the parentsâ âFor so they write, Liberi sunt de sanguine patris & matris, sed pater & mater non sunt de sanguine liberorum.
⸺â But this, Triptolemus, cried Didius, proves too muchâ âfor from this authority cited it would follow, not only what indeed is granted on all sides, that the mother is not of kin to her childâ âbut the father likewise.â ⸺â It is held, said Triptolemus, the better opinion; because the father, the mother, and the child, though they be three persons, yet are they but (una caro)19 one flesh; and consequently no degree of kindredâ ⸺â or any method of acquiring one in nature.â ⸺â There you push the argument again too far, cried Didiusâ ⸺â for there is no prohibition in nature, though there is in the Levitical lawâ ⸺â but that a man may beget a child upon his grandmotherâ ⸺â in which case, supposing the issue a daughter, she would stand in relation both ofâ ⸺â But who ever thought, cried Kysarcius, of lying with his grandmother?â ⸝The young gentleman, replied Yorick, whom Selden speaks ofâ ⸺â who not only thought of it, but justified his intention to his father by the argument drawn from the law of retaliation.â ââYou lay, Sir, with my mother,â said the ladâ ââwhy may not I lie with yours?ââ ⸺âTis the Argumentum commune, added Yorick.â ⸺âTis as good, replied Eugenius, taking down his hat, as they deserve.
The company broke up.
XXXâAnd pray, said my uncle Toby, leaning upon Yorick, as he and my father were helping him leisurely down the stairsâ ⸺â donât be terrified, madam, this staircase conversation is not so long as the lastâ ⸺â And pray, Yorick, said my uncle Toby, which way is this said affair of Tristram at length settled by these learned men? Very satisfactorily, replied Yorick; no mortal, Sir, has any concern with itâ ⸺â for Mrs. Shandy the mother is nothing at all akin to himâ ⸺â and as the motherâs is the surest sideâ ⸺â Mr. Shandy, in course, is still less than nothingâ ⸝In short, he is not as much akin to him, Sir, as I am.â ⸺â
⸺â That may well be, said my father, shaking his head.
⸺â Let the learned say what they will, there must certainly, quoth my uncle Toby, have been some sort of consanguinity betwixt the duchess of Suffolk and her son.
The vulgar are of the same opinion, quoth Yorick, to this hour.
XXXIThough my father was hugely tickled with the subtleties of these learned discoursesâ ⸝âtwas still but like the anointing of a broken boneâ ⸝The moment he got home, the weight of his afflictions returned upon him but so much the heavier, as is ever the case when the staff we lean on slips from under us.â âHe became pensiveâ âwalked frequently forth to the fishpondâ âlet down one loop of his hatâ ⸺â sighâd oftenâ ⸺â forbore to snapâ âand, as the hasty sparks of temper, which occasion snapping, so much assist perspiration and digestion, as Hippocrates tells usâ âhe had certainly fallen ill with the extinction of them, had not his thoughts been critically drawn off, and his health rescued by a fresh train of disquietudes left him, with a legacy of a thousand pounds, by my aunt Dinah.
My father had scarce read the letter, when taking the thing by the right end, he instantly began to plague and puzzle his head how to lay it out mostly to the honour of his family.â âA hundred-and-fifty odd projects took possession of his brains by turnsâ âhe would do this, and that, and tâotherâ âHe would go to Romeâ ⸺â he would go to lawâ ⸺â he would buy stockâ ⸺â he would buy John Hobsonâs farmâ âhe would new forefront his house, and add a new wing to make it evenâ ⸺â There was a fine water-mill on this side, and he would build a windmill on the other side of the river in full view to answer itâ âBut above all things in the world, he would inclose the great Ox-moor, and send out my brother Bobby immediately upon his travels.
But as the sum was finite, and consequently could not do everythingâ ⸺â and in truth very few of these to any purposeâ âof all the projects which offered themselves upon this occasion, the two last seemed to make the deepest impression; and he would infallibly have determined upon both at once, but for the small inconvenience hinted at above, which absolutely put him under a necessity of deciding in favour either of the one or the other.
This was not altogether so easy to be done; for though âtis certain my father had long before set his heart upon this necessary part of my brotherâs education, and like a prudent man had actually determined to carry it into execution, with the first money that returned from the second creation of actions in the Missisippi-scheme, in which he was an adventurerâ ⸺â yet the Ox-moor, which was a fine, large, whinny, undrained, unimproved common, belonging to the Shandy-estate, had almost as old a claim upon him: he had long and affectionately set his heart upon turning it likewise to some account.
But having never hitherto been pressed with such a conjuncture of things, as made it necessary to settle either the priority or justice
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