Romeo & Juliet: Zelda's Version of Shakespeare by Amber Riel (tohfa e dulha read online txt) 📕

Jeremy:  I understand that, Leo, but come on.  You and I both know how this will end.  Cops, pirates, bounty hunters…. We all need to relax a little bit.  I think you should take it easy on them besides you’re too old to continue fighting the way you do.

Leo:  (eyeing Jeremy) You’re not supposed to insult me.  You’re lucky that I can’t lay a hand on you for your comment, pirate.  Anyways, getting on track…. You have your eye on Zelda, I believe…. Well as much as I hate to say it but she needs a man who will take care of her.  (mumbling again) Zelda, why do I have to in your stupid play?

Jeremy:  (nodding) Yes, I’m in love with her.  I’d do anything to keep her safe, sir.

Leo:  Well look we’re having a party why don’t you come tonight and try to ask for her hand in marriage?  I mean why don’t you woo her….? (making a face) I’m sure she’ll accept your offer.  As long as you don’t mess it up…. I hate you pirates and I want her out of the castle.  I don’t even know why she’s there anyways.  She’s always getting drunk and it’s annoying.  I want to kill her while I can but seeming to have some kind of restriction right now.  I mean for some reason I can’t and it’s bugging me.  (to Ray, handing him a piece of paper) Go and find everyone on this piece of paper and tell them that there’s going to be a ball in the castle tonight and everyone on the list is invited and let them know they can bring guest.

(Leo and Jeremy leave.)

Ray:  (opening up the piece of paper) Everyone whose invited to the party.  (nodding)  Okay…. Yea…. Yea…. Um everyone but anyone from the Skull’s house pretty much.  Of course, of course…. Let’s see if I can find everyone on here.  This is going to take a little while.

(Ben and Paul arrive.)

Paul:  So what is it that you need to see Daniel and Saphire for anyways?

Ben:  Nothing important or interesting to you.

Paul:  Of course….

Ben:  I’m serious, dude.  It’s of no importance to you at all.

Paul:  You can’t at least tell me a little bit of it?

Ben:  No.  Leave me---

Ray:  Hey, guys.  Can you guys search for everyone on this list?  There’s to be a party tonight and well I don’t feel like running all over the place.

Ben:  Let me see.  (taking the piece of paper) Okay.  I guess we could split up…. Make it easier for us…. So there’s a party tonight?

Ray:  Yep.

Ben:  We'll help you out.

Ray:  Thanks.

Ben:  No problem.  What time?

Ray:  I’m assuming whenever is good.

Ben:  Cool.

Ray:  Yea.

Ben:  Where at?

Ray:  Magma’s castle…. And you two are welcome to come to.  See ya guys.  (thinking) Oh well, I don’t care if Leo’s going to be happy I invited them or not.

(Ray leaves.)

Paul:  We need to get to that party tonight.  (smiling) That’s where you’re supposed to meet you know who…. Hahaha!

Ben:  (kind of laughing) Yes yes.  I know.

Paul:  Seems like we have a party to prepare for then.  Come on, man.

Ben:  I know but I need to see Saphire and Daniel first.

(They leave.)

(Magma and Olivia walk into a room.)

Magma:  Olivia, where’s Zelda?  I need to talk to her.

Olivia:  (ticked off) She’s around here somewhere as a matter of fact I have bone to pick with her.  Now let’s see.  Zelda!  You better get your butt in here this instant!

(Zelda walks into the room.)

Zelda:  Yes?  How may I help you guys?

Olivia:  Magma needs to talk to you.

Zelda:  Remember you can’t kill me, Lava-girl.  I’m an important person in this story.

Magma:  (eyeing Zelda) Yes, I know and believe me I hate it.  Now listen, Zelda, you’re aware of the ball that we’re having today well Jeremy’s going to be there and so you know Leo has offered him your hand in marriage.

Olivia:  I’ve heard that as well.

Magma:  Like it or not, you’re to marry him and get out of my castle.

Olivia:  Can you please finish?  I need to have a few words with Zelda too.  I don’t like how I have to be her nurse.  This is messed up.  I should be Juliet and I would do well as the character whereas Zelda is ruining it.  Juliet is an interesting character to portray but Zelda had to go and fix up this whole stupid thing.

Magma:  I’ll let you have your words but---

Olivia:  Just let me get it over with because this is frustrating.  She doesn’t even want to go on with the end of play like she should have.  I don’t even think she has the monologues in here for crying out loud.  She’s so stupid…. I want to kill her and get it over with.  Aaaahhhh! I hate this.  Why are you having us stuck in this mixed up play that you’re calling Romeo & Juliet?  This could go on forever and thanks to you it's ruined.  Why did you have to ruin this amazing play of love and death?  This is one of my favorite plays and of course you have to go and ruin it because you don’t like how it ends.

Magma:  Stop, Olivia.  You can continue later.

Olivia:  (sighing) Fine.

Zelda:  Yea relax, Olive Oyl.  It’s all part of my version.  It’s fine.

Olivia:  It’s fine?  You made me the nurse?  Why do I have to be the nurse?  Why can’t I be Juliet?

Magma:  Olivia, relax.  How do you feel about marrying Jeremy?

Zelda:  To answer Olivia…. Well, I’m the one telling the story so therefore I get to be Juliet.  Hahaha…. Anyways, to answer Magma…. I will not marry him.  I am telling you he is so not my type.

Olivia:  You made me the stupid nurse!

Magma:  Too bad, Zelda…. You’re going to have to marry him anyways, like it or not.

Olivia:  Well at least I don’t have to do something I don’t want to do.

Magma:  I just want to get you out of my castle so that I don’t have to look at your stupid face, you stupid rum drinking pirate.

Olivia:  I can’t wait till I get out of this nightmare.

Magma:  I’ll be kicking you out as soon as Zelda leaves.

Olivia:  Of course.

Magma:  Now I hope that you leave soon with Jeremy by the way.

Zelda:  And I’m telling you that’s not going to happen seeing that you’re evil and not only that but I have no feelings for him.  (sticking her tongue) I hate the idea and you can’t make me fall in love with someone I don’t like.

(Ray walks into the room.)

Ray:  Everyone’s here for the party or the ball or whatever you’re calling it.  I figured you might want to know.  Hello, Captain Zelda, Olivia.

Magma:  Good.  Come on, you two.

(Ray leaves.  Zelda stays in the room.)

Olivia:  Go…. You’re supposed to go to the ball, remember?

(They leave.)

(Ben, Keaton, & Paul along with others.)

Ben:  What are we going to tell Leo if he sees us at the party?  I mean I have a good feeling that we’re not actually welcomed here.

Paul:  He’s not going to catch us and if he does we’ll just out smart him.  (laughing) It’s that simple but whether he likes it or not we have to be here anyways.  We’re pirates for crying out loud besides you need time to see the captain in all of her beauty so you can fall for her just like in the romance and tragedy of the play.  You know the story; I shouldn’t have to explain every bit and section about what needs to go on.  I shouldn’t have to explain what needs to be done either.  So I’m just going to leave it at that.

Ben:  I know…. I know…. But we’re going to get caught if we’re not at least cautious of what could happen.

Keaton:  Relax, Ben, you guys are with me.  Remember?

Ben:  (sarcastically) Oh yes and that’s awesome.  You’re kind of an idiot, Keaton.  You’re also a bounty hunter that we have to watch closely otherwise it’d be the end of us all.

Keaton:  I thought you were more of a lover than a fighter.  I mean aren’t you supposed to be love sick or something?

Ben:  I’m surprised that you were smart enough to know that.  Remember this isn’t exactly like the original play.  Zelda tweaked it a bit…. Tweaked it by a lot, really…. Therefore, yes I should be in love with some other girl right now who broke my heart but thanks to Zelda some of the situations are a bit different.

Keaton:  But love should have sunk your heart in the heartbreak ship of your burdened heart of the love ship and the um I don’t know…. Whatever else is to make sense?

Ben:  You lost me, Keaton.  I really have no idea what you had just said.

Keaton:  If you are not heartbroken then this scene shouldn’t be taken place.  We should then find something else to do which will fit with the storyline instead of going to this party that you and Paul weren’t invited to in the first place and then go and find a cow for milking.  We are more content in what we do for business than we are when we are in the town of the lovers quarrel.

Paul:  I think someone needs to explain to him that most of the things he just said were ridiculous and not even worth mentioning in the first place.  I mean come on what’s milking a cow have to deal with anything?  Why are we stuck with the idiot bounty hunter?

Ben:  Because Leo is one of the two only bounty hunters with commonsense and he wants us dead.  We can’t get stuck with Russel because he’ll most likely kill us whether or not it’s in the script.  Not only that, but Keaton’s close to our age.  Keaton, you think this party is going to be filled with beautiful women?

Keaton:  Of course…. Of course…. There’s always beautiful women at balls…. But it’s a masked ball so it’s going to be harder to find them…. You would have to unmask every woman you find and then you won’t even know if you’re actually unmasking a woman until you actually moved the mask…. Believe me I’ve done it a couple of times already and so far both of woman turned out to be creepy men in dresses and wigs.  I’m not making that mistake tonight.

Ben:  Thanks for the heads up.

Keaton:  Yea I thought you two might need