Romeo & Juliet: Zelda's Version of Shakespeare by Amber Riel (tohfa e dulha read online txt) 📕

Ruling House of Somewhere

Gregory (Prince Escalus):

Jeremy (Count Paris):

Keaton (Mercutio):

House of Griffen

Leo (Capulet):

Magma (Lady Capulet):

Zelda (Juliet; Chorus):

Drake (Tybalt):

Olivia (The Nurse):

Ryoko (Rosaline):

Peter (Peter):

Ryan (Sampson):

Jason (Gregory):

Ray (Servant):

Romano (First Servant):

Blake (Second Servant):

House of Skull

Daniel (Montague):

Saphire (Lady Montague):

Ben (Romeo):

Paul (Benvolio):

Scott (Abram):

Shawn (Balthasar):

Others

John (Friar Laurence):

Aaron (Friar John):

Austin (Apothecary):

Alaska (First Citizen):

(Zelda walks into a room, carrying a bottle of and a book.  She looks around at the audience and nods.)

Zelda:  (sitting in a chair, placing the bottle of rum on the inn table) Hello, ladies and gentlemen.  I’m Zelda S. Griffen, captain of the White Rose but right now that’s not important.  Anyways, I’m going to be reading Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.  (smiling at the crowd)  Okay.  (opening the book, reading) Two households, both alike in dignity, blah, blah, blah, so on and so forth…. You know they have that hatred for each other…. Yea, yea, yea…. A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life…. Wait?  Oh no we ain’t having that.  (closing the book) Okay it turns out there’s going to be a horrifying ending so I’m just going to take this story into my own hands and fix it up…. You know give it a happier vibe….

Olivia:  (walking into the room) You can’t do that.  It’s Shakespeare…. You can’t just ruin---

Zelda:  (taking a sip of rum) Watch and learn, Olive Oyl.

(Ryan and Jason walk out into the street, confused and kind of lost.)

Ryan:  (sad) I wanted to be Romeo.  Why do I have to be some servant instead?  My heart is broken because I’m in love with Zelda.

Jason:  (whispering to Ryan) Um…. Ryan, the story has started.

Ryan:  Oh right then.  (quickly getting into character) We will… um… do we really need to speak the odd language?

Jason:  (smacking himself in the head) I’m stuck with a stupid pirate.

Ryan:  I think we’re supposed to be talking about fighting or something like that.  Do they know that we have light saber kind of swords?

Jason:  Ryan, you’re ruining the story with your rambling and questions.

Ryan:  I love you, Zelda!

Jason:  (smacking Ryan) That’s not in the script, moron.  Now you’re supposed to say something mocking the enemy.

Ryan:  (nodding) Ay…. Thy dress like homeless rum drinkers…. They do not know how to feed thy dog.

Jason:  (giving Ryan a funny look) What?  That doesn’t even make any since.

Ryan:  We feed the mouth of a gator and a shark that comes forth from nowhere.

Jason:  Why are you making up stuff?

Ryan:  We, thy servants, know thy better than thou thinkth.

Jason:  (staring at Ryan) I am so lost.  Thinkth?  That’s not even a real word.

Ryan:  (smiling) I think I’m doing great with this Shakespeare stuff.

Jason:  (shaking his head) Sorry, folks, Ryan’s a moron.

Ryan:  You know I think we should take some pictures after this experience.  Don’t you think so, Jason?

Jason:  (shaking his head) Why?  Why do I have to be stuck with this guy?

Ryan:  This is a tragedy right?  Oh no…. Zelda’s going to…. Aaaaaahhhhhhh!  No, my love!

Jason:  You are so stupid.  Wait…. Here comes a couple of them from the Skull's place.  (pulling out a sword) We must fight!

Ryan:  Fight to the finish!  (drawing his sword) I will stand behind thee and wait.

Jason:  You need help…. I mean mentally.

Ryan:  I have your back, cop.

Jason:  That’s scary.

Ryan:  Hurry up and get over here already.  I want this stupid scene to end.

Jason:  You’re telling me.

Ryan:  Wait…. This is where I bite my thumb to insult them.

(Ryan bites his thumb.  Scott and Shawn arrive.)

Scott:  Why are you biting your thumb?  What are you; a big baby?

Ryan:  (kind of mad) I’m not a baby.  I’m supposed to be insulting you two.

Scott:  Oh right.  I forgot it’s in the script.  I can do the same thing….

Ryan:  (to Jason) Is he mocking me?

Jason:  Yep.

Ryan:  Are you mocking me?

Jason:  Scott, Shawn, I think we’re supposed to fight or get into a fight.  I keep forgetting my lines because of him.

Scott:  Yes we’re supposed to fight.  The only thing that threw me off is the fact that we’re not speaking the dialog or dialect…. One of the two.

Ryan:  I work for a good man such as you.

Scott:  You do?  Oh wait…. No you work for a bounty hunter.

Ryan:  Do not….

Jason:  (to self) I think Zelda needs to re-fix what she ruined.  (to the others) Hey, Drake’s heading this way, guys.

Ryan:  Finally, I’m getting bored with all this talking.

Scott:  We better start fighting then.

Ryan:  Draw thy swords you stupid men of shorts.

(Jason, Shawn, and Scott just stare at Ryan for a moment then began fighting.  Paul arrives.)

Paul:  Stop fighting!  Place your swords back into the sheaths and apologize to each other.

(Paul interferes.  Drake shows up.)

Drake:  Hey guys!  Prepare to die, Paul!

Paul:  No I think we should talk first…. Talking is the first step to exception.  (thinking) I'm pretty sure that exception isn't the word I'm looking for…. I mean we should talk over our problem rather than fight.

Drake:  Talk?  With the enemy?  I think not.  Talking is lame for women.  Fighting is much more manly…. Chicken.

(Drake and Paul start fighting.  Groups from the two households arrive and join into the battle.  The townspeople arrive.)

Alaska:  (to herself, angry) I can’t believe I have to be an ordinary peasant.  Thanks a lot, Zelda.  (to the group) Stop fighting!  All of you stop!  Act like mature men!  Not little children!

(Leo and Magma arrive.)

Leo:  Okay what’s the bright idea waking me up?  I need my sword.  I need to do something.

Magma:  Why do you have to fight?  I can simply set them on fire.

Leo:  It’s not in the script, your highness.

(Daniel and Saphire arrive.)

Daniel:  Of course, Leo has to be here along with Magma.

Saphire:  Please don’t start a fight.  I don’t want you to get hurt.

(Gregory arrives with others.)

Gregory:  What’s the big idea?  Oh wait a minute…. Magma and Leo…. Daniel and Saphire…. Please everyone stop battling each other and just relax.  Man every single time…. Why do you guys have to fight?  Never mind don’t answer.  Listen, Leo, why don’t you come along with me right now and then later, Daniel, I’ll stop by and talk to you about this problem you guys have.  Although I will say that it does need to end soon.  This is annoying.

(Everyone leaves except for Daniel, Saphire, and Paul.)

Daniel:  What was that about, Paul?

Paul:  Let’s see Jason and Ryan were fighting with Scott and Shawn well I tried to stop them but then Drake arrived and called me a chicken so then we started fighting.

Saphire:  Is Ben around?  He wanted to meet us but I’m not sure why.  I don’t even know why we’re not in our usual groups like normally.

Paul:  He was around here somewhere.  I seen him earlier but I don’t know and you can thank my captain for splitting us up into different groups.  Um…. Try over by the ship area.

Daniel:  Ships of course…. Pirates and their ships…. Right.  This story sure is taking an odd turn.  Aren’t we supposed to be quoting Shakespeare or something anyways?

Paul:  Yea we’re all just pretty much ad lipping because it’s easier than trying to figure out what the man means.

Daniel:  This ought to be interesting then.

Paul:  Yep just making stuff up as we go along.

Daniel:  Well it looks like this story was ruined before it actually begun then.  Who’s narrating this anyways?

(Ben enters the scene.)

Paul:  Captain Zelda’s narrating and there’s Ben.  I’ll go talk to him.

Daniel:  Alright then.  Come with me, Saphire, I’m sure we’ll run into him again.

(Daniel and Saphire leave.)

Paul:  Hey, Ben!

Ben:  What’s up, man?

Paul:  Nothing much.  What about you, dude?

Ben:  Nothing much…. I just met up with a ghost.

Paul:  A ghost?  This isn’t Hamlet…. You shouldn’t have met up with a ghost…. You’re supposed to be in love with some chick which breaks your heart or something like that.

Ben:  I know but it just happened.  I think it was the captain’s cousin.  The one who Olivia---

Paul:  I know, bro.

Ben:  Anyways yea that’s where I was….

Paul:  Okay.  Well, Saphire and Daniel were looking for you earlier.

Ben:  (nodding) Okay.

Paul:  What was the conversation about?

Ben:  Nothing much really just trying to figure out why she had wanted to see me…. I felt it was strange but then she just told me to watch out for the end…. I’m not sure what she meant by that.

Paul:  Well that story’s boring…. Try to add some more to it…. I don’t care if you make it up but just to tell people that she told you to watch out for the end is boring and not exciting.  If you run into a ghost you would need to make it seem a bit more interesting.

Ben:  (shaking his head) Sorry to disappoint you then.

Paul:  Ghost stories are supposed to be interesting.

Ben:  Ghost stories…. Ha!  Who has the time for ghost stories anyway?  Look I need to go because I don’t want to tick off Saphire and Daniel.

Paul:  I’ll join you.  I’m bored anyways.

Ben:  I’m just going to go.

Paul:  Does that mean I can go?

Ben:  Up to you, bro.

Paul:  Is there something you’re not telling me?

Ben:  Why do you even care?

Paul:  I don’t know, man…. Something’s off.

Ben:  You’re weird.

Paul:  Eh.

Ben:  Whatever, man.  Look I’m bored and I need to get going.  I have nothing much more to really say or to talk about.

Paul:  Did you see the captain?

Ben:  No.

Paul:  You sure?

Ben:  Yes besides that part hasn’t happened yet.

Paul:  Oh yea that’s right.

Ben:  Done wasting my time?

Paul:  Yep.

(They left.)

(Leo, Jeremy, and Ray walk out into the street.)

Leo:  (mumbling) I’m stuck with a couple of pirates that I can’t kill.  Great…. (to Jeremy and Ray)  Look this battle has gone on for over centuries.  It’s not something