Window to my Soul by Samantha Panzarella (good books to read in english TXT) 📕

The Siren


You wipe away these crimson tears

Blood tainting your hands

Your lips brushed against my own

Corrupting you with this sweet kiss

Tarnishing the innocence that you carried

As I pull you into this dark hole of bliss

Wrapping arms of darkness around your soul

Love is a poison upon your heart

It seeps through your veins, tearing at your chest

But I can make the pain feel like a gentle carress


In His Back Pocket


I just don't know how to say

To describe this kind of pain

As I sit in your back pocket

Second best from the rest

A mere afterthought to you

I'm sitting there, just waiting there

As the seconds tick by

The clock of my life

Staring into space just to pass some time

I'M STILL WAITING HERE

ALWAYS WAITING HERE

JUST FOR YOU

Didn't you ever notice?

All this waiting that I do

As I sit in your back pocket

Fading away

Maybe another day.....


Run Away


I can see you killing me

Nothing left inside my chest

Wasted lives

A bitter mess

Maybe I should listen to those little voices

Inside my head

Telling me to run home

But I'm not sure where exactly that is

Cuz all I know is this confusion

Clouding all my thoughts and senses

Just trying to ease away this dread

Forgive me as I pull away

Forgive me while I run away

I'm just trying to escape

While death sits at my heels

Clutching me through distorted hands

I should have ran

Far away

Far away from here


Bitter Lonliness
The room's getting dark

I'll still be lonely

And you'll still be busy

As I fall asleep alone

Clutching at a shattered hope

That you'll be there beside me

When I'm needing you the most


We're A Forgotten Creation
God exists

We exist

His disappointment

He turned away

Leaving us to fend for ourselves

A forgotten creation

Our unanswered prayers

His minor annoyances

Waiting as we destroy ourselves

Causing our own extinction

Killing this earth

Until nothing is left

His distant memory


Insanity Screams

Your lips are moving

Nothing came out

I can't hear you

All the screaming inside my head

I'm suddenly deaf

I'm suddenly mute

All this anger running through

It's hurting

It's burning

Ripping apart my brains

My heart set to a flame

Trying to scream

Just let it all loose

Just let it all get away from you


Unanswered Prayers

I tried to find God

But I guess he don't care

He was never there

Where was he when I was scared?

Tears running down my face

My heart a crumbled mess

Groping around for the light

A light that will never shine

These aren't mere lines of disrespect

Cutting down the one from above

But whatever happened to a God of love?


FOR MY BABY


I won't ever see you're smiling face

Or hold your little hands

Your memory will be a scar

Running along my mind

Those four months wasn't supposed to be enough

Death robbed you from our time

Now I can only imagine

How nice it'd feel

Holding you in my arms


Shadowed Souls

I woke up this morning

I think the sun forgot to shine

No, today will not be fine

I'm sorry but it won't be alright

Self worth is on my mind

The mirror taunts me with my reflection

I'm not anything special

And yet I'm not like everybody else

Couldn't get out of bed

That negativity lingering

I stayed in my pjs all day

My hair never getting brushed

As I'm stuck in this slump

I can't get it outta my head

Tracing my hand along the scars

The mistakes I inbedded into my skin

When does the emptiness end?


Out of Reach

What I desire I can't have

I try not to think about it

I try not to feel sad

But when someone else puts their arms around me

I wonder what it'd be like if it was you

Is it wrong for me to want what I do

I don't know how to handle this coldness

If you were here would you share some warmth

Can you dear, wrap your arms around me?

Are you alive with the love I need to feel....

Or did you already die away from this world....

Is it a sin to crave more affection

Is it wrong to want to feel some protection

My heart is tearing out of my chest

Yeah, my emotions are just one big mess

I'm crying in the darkness of this room

I'm clawing at these open wounds

Why do I have to feel this pain?

Tell me dear, will there be any gain?

When you say one day................

Is this only in our dreams?

Will there ever be a me and you.......


My Picture

They say that every picture tells a story

Well what does mine say

What are the words it speaks to you

Do you see a broken girl?

Or just the happy smile she wears on her face...

Do you see the scars that run deep from within her soul?

Or is the outer appearence all you know...

Oh yeah, she looks happy there

See her smiling there

You can't see the pain she holds inside

You'll never see the tears that she cries

Didn't anyone notice.................

Pictures never tell the right stories....


Okasan,

You're not ready to move out of this place

You could never make it on your own

You'll never survive in this world

I don't have the heart to say it

To say I've been ready for this all of my life

Yeah, it was just a matter of time

You're not gonna beg me to stay

But you'll rub it in my face

You'll point out all I"ve done wrong

I don't know what that's going to achieve

Except maybe lower my self esteem

Are you trying to break me before I leave?

Sometimes I just wanna scream out

Wanna scream out at you

That you were never perfect too

So don't expect so much more than I can really be

I'll be fine making do with what life gives me

Until then why don't you help me back to my feet

It's all I really do need


Will you be the one to cut the Strings

Look at what you've done to this heart

Do you see the scars running down?

Can you see the stab wounds you left behind?

This distorted organ still beats................

My broken body still lives

Yeah, this torn apart soul is still hanging from the threads

I'm just waiting for you to hand me the scissors for it.......


Daggers

It's a thorn in my heart

A pain I can't resist

It's deep within my soul

Didn't you know I'm a masochist?

I cry to feel the shame

I bleed to know I'm sane

I'm so messed up

But I'm not looking for a way out

I need to feel this pain

I deserve this abuse

Don't tell me otherwise....

Cuz it ain't no use....


Black and White makes Gray

We're so alike......

Yet so different

I wear my heart for everyone to see

While you hide your's in a block of ice

I'm still hoping.................

While you rely on your own dreams

I'm planning for the future

While you wait and see what the next day brings

You walk a path unknown to me

As I sit at my dead end..............

I'm an emotional mess

And you lack the feelings to understand it

Yet you always know what I need

Yeah, your always there for me

Your the blackness of the dark

While I'm the white of a fading light

But together we make...........gray.....


The Fall

Your whisper now a mere memory

Your touch a forgotten feeling

Speaking words upon deaf ears

As you reach out for something not really there

And I'm trapped inside my own misery

This numbness ebbs away

As the pain finally hits me

I'm being suffocated

As the chains wrap around my heart

Thorns peircing through my chest

But I bite back my cries

And hold back the tears

I force myself to smile

I make myself appear alive

Though death dwells inside

It's seeping through my flesh

The higher you fly

The more bones broken

When you come crashing down

And I came crashing down from such a height

This soul you'll no longer even recognize


Written for Katrina-Hurricane of Death

It started to flood

Water came up from the ground

The people in their attics......

They were starting to drown

Dead bodies floated by

Darkness settled in...........

As rain poured down from the sky

A graveyard of family and friends

People mourning the death of others

Such a horrible way to end


As Long as I Smile

This numbness has settled in

But I smile

I still smile for you guys

Why aren't I happy?

I'm loved

I'm so loved

Doesn't really matter anymore

Doesn't really matter at all

Now does it?

As long as I pretend to be happy.....

Everything will be okay

As long as I'm smiling

Everything will be fine

Let's just forgot about......

The problems in my head

My insides are screaming

As my heart bleeds to death

I'll tell you I'm doing great

I'm happy with what I decided

Don't you see this big smile on my face?

Ignore the crimson tears....

That leave these stains behind

Ignore the empty look in my eyes

That makes you wonder if everything is alright

Cuz I'm smiling aren't I?

I'm smiling...so it's all just doing great


Maybe I’ll come around in the End


This world was dark and empty

Till you shed your light on me

You’ve brought feelings back

That I had thought to be dead

And emotions………..

I could once only phanthom


Though sometimes I will want to run