What Can I say? by Ana Fuentes (100 best novels of all time TXT) 📕

You said loved me,
You said you’d wait.
You said you wanted no one else but me.
I thought you knew,
I thought you’d understood.
I Curse myself for being foolish,
I Curse my heart for falling for your smile, your eyes, your lies…
You say you want to talk.
You say that there’s a reason, a reason for your action.
Yet nothing you will say, will change my mind about your act.
That day you mad me cry,
That day you broke my heart.
That day…, is all I can think of, that day…
You know my heart is broken,
You know it very well.
I curse the day I saw you with her.
I once thought I knew pain,
I thought nothing could hurt me.
Yet here I am, crying over you,
You worthless dirty fag…
I Curse that day so much,
But most of all I curse you and her,
No one else but you two.

They make fun of you for being you.
They make fun of her for being acting like someone else.
You ask yourself, will the laughter ever end?
Will they get tired of their ways?
You sit down and dream upon a day,
When they stop, stop their mean ways.
You stand up, and look for him.
You walk up you him and spit on his face.
You walk away leaving them stunned,
Yet they all knew they had it coming,
But what shocked them the most is that you did it.

When will it end?
I’m tired of living this way
Tired of fighting
Tired of trying
Tired of death and moans
Will there ever be peace for us?
For the Survivor’s
When will the pain end?
Will it ever end?

Pain, Loss, Death, Moans.
This is my life,
Our lives.
Why did it happen?
How did it happen?
How could it happen?
Our loved ones out there.
Our enemies out there.
All joined up for one thing.
All seeking my blood and flesh,
Our blood and flesh.
We cripple inside when we see them.
Fear and Regret stamped across our minds.
No life in them.
No love in them.
No memories.
We break inside.
Realization strucks.
We’re alone.
But where alive and their gone.
Not dead, Well not yet.
They pull at me.
Bite into me.
Infect me.
Unconsecrated, Mudo, Plague Rats
Call them whatever you want
But for me they're all SHIT!

Is it what I say?
The way I express myself?
What do I do wrong?
Everything I do causes misunderstandings
Why do I mess things up?
My “nothings” anger you
My “sorrys” hold no meaning
Just point a gun to my head and pull the trigger
I’ll be no memory
Just your sad, pathetic past
Forget me, I’m not right
I have problems, I confess
But what can I say
It’s hard to be perfect
Too hard to be me
I think it’s about time I gave up
Forget the truth
I’ll lie to please you
I’ll give my life to satisfy
But don’t forget me
Promise that not before,
I forget you first
I admit I ruined your life
But after you ruined mine
So forget you
Your face, Your smile, Your voice
I’m tired of pretending
You are no good to me
I deserve more that anger
You don’t deserve my love
I swear on my life, I’ll forget you
Because you were the darkness that choked me

She sits in silence
Time frozen around her
Her expression pale with fear
The sound of a broken twig
A snap of fingers
She coughs, and covers her mouth
Her hand wet with blood
She looks up, and a tear escapes
“I’m Sorry” he whispers
She gives one last sob
And he pulls the trigger

They said she died without a reason
But I said there was a reason
Most ignored me
I thought about it every night
No one understood her death
I understood
Everyone wondered why
I knew why
The guilt was killing me
So I tried explaining
In was rewarded with pity
Every night she visited me
I started to go insane
She haunted my every dream
And always with the same question
Why’d you kill me?
It drove me mad
How dare she play innocent
To be truthful, I’d say
She ended her life
She rejected my love
When I offered her everything
Yes, she brought this on herself
I tried to convince her
I told her to love me
She never listened
So I took it into my hands
2 days later she was gone
No one knew why
But I did
But no worries
I’ll be seeing her soon
And this time she’ll love me
No pain
No rejection
This time she’ll understand
I know I did

Publication Date: 05-04-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
I dedicate this to no one and everyone