Looking Through My Eyes by Kayla Stiles (literature books to read txt) đź“•
Dedication: This goes out to the one I had wanted to spend my life with, my ex-lover, Edward Shubael Dimmick. If it weren't for you flat-out giving up on me, just ditching me for someone else, I probably wouldn't be sharing this with my fellow self-mutilators. So I guess, in a way, I should thank you.
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- Author: Kayla Stiles
Read book online «Looking Through My Eyes by Kayla Stiles (literature books to read txt) 📕». Author - Kayla Stiles
Another Friend Gone (The Truth)
8/25/11
Lillith sits in a corner,
Cheeks stained by tears,
Alone but for the chirping of the crickets.
Were it not for the truth,
She would have a friend by her side.
But that friend left.
She left because of the truth.
The truth hurt her,
She was too blind to see it.
But Lillith saw it.
And she told her friend.
The girl didn’t like it,
So she fled.
She left the friend that was always there for her,
The friend who was her fallback.
Now she’s gone, and Lillith is alone,
She feels betrayed and lied to.
Hurt by her friend’s deceit.
For that is what she sees it as:
Deceit, Betrayal…and Loss.
Lillith’s wounded heart throbs in her hands,
As the knife pierces it over and over, once again.
The blood seeps through her fingers,
As the tears rain from her eyes.
Yet she sits there,
Not moving yet shaking at the same time,
As though nothing yet also everything has happened.
She does not feel as the knife pierces her chest again,
For all she feels is the emptiness in her soul,
All she sees is the darkness creeping in,
And all she hears is the crickets chirping
As once again, her life ends…
A Symphony of Broken HeartsA Symphony of Broken Hearts
5/1/12
They parade down the streets of the world,
This symphony of broken hearts.
Their eyes filled with tears,
Their bodies crying rivers of red.
They parade down the streets of the world,
Voices raised against the injustice of life,
Yet nobody sees them.
Nobody hears their cries and bloodthirsty screams.
They just walk right by these people,
As though blind to the cruel ways of life.
The treacherous ways of “God”.
These ignorant men and women of the world,
Living life as though other people don’t suffer.
As though nobody is hurting
And slowly decaying inside.
So many voices
Make up the symphony of broken hearts.
Yet no one pays any heed to their needs.
There is no love in this world
For these “sinful” and “fucked up” people.
Stupid, bitch, whore, slut, crazy,
Ugly, disgusting, addict, lazy, loser,
Fuckup, fat, anorexic, arrogant,… poser.
These are the words that people sling
So cruelly, so full of hatred.
Nobody tries to understand the unknown,
Except for those who ARE the unknown.
I guess that saying is true:
Everyone protects their own.
And, in some cases, every man for himself.
Nobody stands up for the little guy.
And if there’s anyone that does,
Then those people are few and far between.
Nobody wants the “weaker” ones.
Even though these hurt and damaged people
Are, in truth, the strong ones.
They are strong because, despite all the shit
That is thrown at them,
They continue to stand and fight.
They continue to fight for what they see as right,
Fight for their right to a peaceful life.
No one sees that these are truly the strongest,
Most powerful people there are.
They show compassion and try to make peace,
Even with those who treat them so harshly.
They sometimes don’t hide their emotions,
And they don’t hide behind fake faces.
They are the real deal,
The big thing.
They are more real than most people nowadays.
Maybe you should try to take a leaf from their books.
Maybe you should try to understand them…
Before their blood is on your hands…
Ballad From the DarkBallad from the Dark
As I lie alone in this dark room,
My bed cold, no arms to keep away the gloom.
No warmth since you left, my light is now gone.
Why’d I have to go and make you woebegone?
You loved me so much I didn’t even realize.
Now I lie alone, and my heart breaks with my dark lies.
I lost you because of my stupidity, and the price
Wears me down and tears me apart. I fear I never
Truly knew how much I loved you, until you left me,
Now I’m all alone, and I’m nothing more than thee…
Chorus:
Creature of the Darkness
So black and empty, so desolate and alone.
Why’d I ever take that risk
Or losing you and ending up alone?
You lost the faith you had in me,
Yet no matter what, you never stopped loving me.
Now I want you back, I made a mistake,
But now is too late, you’ve already gone.
I love you so much, I’m sorry.
It’s been forever since I last saw your face, heard your voice.
Ever day that I’m alone is another day I die inside.
I wish I could tell you I’m sorry. Wish there was a choice,
To go back in time and take back what I did that day inside
His car. Wish I could take back the words, the hurt.
But it’s done and over with, and now, you see, my heart is dead.
I broke your heart, if you saw me now, you’d be curt.
My heart is destroyed. The tears fall as the barrel touches my head.
My hand shakes, I pull the trigger and hear a SNAP.
I have not the courage to end it all, to take an eternal nap.
Chorus:
Monster in the Darkness
Is all I shall be, now that no longer have you.
You couldn’t look at me straight out of your disgust.
I should’ve never done that, it destroyed you.
You were my happiness, I just took it for granted.
Fairytales aren’t meant to be forever.
Happy endings are something we take for granted.
But in truth, they happen only never.
I miss you so much, I’m sorry.
As I watch the blood from the cuts
Run down my arms in great dark red ruts.
My life blood spills as I see your face.
You must be a mirage, you’re not in this place.
I stitch these wounds upon my chest,
And hear your gorgeous voice say, “The best
Thing that’s ever happened to me.” But I fucked
Up, and now you’re gone. I’m sorry but he sucked.
I hold the pills within my hand,
And think of how many to take. I can’t.
Chorus:
I saw you on the news today.
Your mangled face, the gun in hand.
Now I’ve truly lost you, my day.
Now you’re never coming to my land.
I’m now lost, alone in this darkness,
Looking for something that’s already gone.
I’m just a Creature of this Eternal Darkness.
And no one is left to silence the gong.
I loved you so damn much.
Now you’re gone, I’m sorry.
Bloody TearsBloody Tears
Here I lie, yet again
On my floor, in my den.
As the tears fall from my eyes,
As the razor brings more cries.
I see the blood flow from my wrists
As though in neverending red lists
Of the shit that hurts me so.
It ends the pain, that’s all I know.
It makes me feel above the hate,
Above the hurt, not too late
To turn back time, to change my fate.
To finally wipe clean this blackened slate.
You always hurt me, make me scream.
I’m all alone, wish this was a dream.
I fucking hate you, for all you do
Is make me feel like nothing can I do.
You kick me down, onto the ground,
You make me feel the hurt, all around.
As the blood and tears run down my wrists,
I watch them mix, form turns and twists.
Along my skin, across the floor,
Upon my legs, there’s so much more.
It pools on the ground and touches the door.
I swear, to anyone else it’s a lot of gore.
But to me, this is my life.
Bloody tears, a mournful fife.
Good bye.
Deals with the DevilDeals with the Devil
12/6/11
There she lurks,
In the shadows of the night.
Her light-skinned body
Is shrouded in the black of night.
She crouches in the shadows,
Hiding from the rest of the world.
Suddenly, she steps in a puddle.
The small splash echoes
Around the area,
Bounces off the walls
Of the surrounding buildings.
She freezes in her tracks as
The sounds of vicious barking
And ravenous howling
Fills the alleyways,
Totally surrounds her.
Terrified, she books it down the alley,
Back the way she came.
The howls come closer and closer
As she pants and gasps,
Racing through the maze of streets.
Suddenly, she can feel the hot breath
Of the beasts on the back of her neck.
One grabs her ankle
In its mouth and
Drags her to the ground.
She screams as she falls to her face,
Rolls over and stares into the
Blazing red eyes of the hell hounds.
Then they begin to bite at her.
They bite deep into her flesh and muscle,
Rip her apart, tear her limb from limb!
They rip out her throat and
Make her cough up blood.
Within minutes, she is dead.
The hell hounds leave and
Once again, she’s alone.
This time, lying in the shadows,
Stomach ripped open,
Drenched in a pool of her own blood.
So, just a suggestion,
Never make deals… with the devil.
Death to Her!
Death to Her!
She sits alone in a cold, dark world,
Trapped in her pit of despair.
A sharpened razor blade sits beside her.
She picks it up.
With swift,
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