The Evolution of Me by S. G. Ricketts (best smutty novels .txt) 📕

Midsummer’s Eve

Yellow rays of sun
Catch on flecks of gold,
Fairy dust scattered through the air.
It settles on thrones
Of velvet pink,
King in the sky's last parting gift
Before magic takes over.

The dusky air is bathed in their light,
Baptized
As they begin their summer dance.
Gossamer wings flit amongst
Slender greens.
Splashes of light make
Hazy halos around fuzzy globes.
The air is still,
Time frozen between sundown and
Moonrise.
They dance along the ground,
Among the leaves,
In the roses.
They are flickering yellow stars,
Taunting reality with their
Ethereal beauty.

They are dreams,
Bringing childhood back to
Life.

The moon has risen.


Capulet

I wear my heart on my sleeve,
Branded upon my soul.
My tears slip down my cheek,
Hidden behind the mask.
I cannot speak for fear of anger.
I cannot breathe without my speech.
You leave me broken,
Dead.
Cold.
I am frozen behind this mask of terror.
The sparkles of life
Have fallen as ashes around me.
My words fall on deaf ears,
My pleas fall like leaves around me.
If I bleed,
Will you finally see?
If you see the pain,
Will you finally listen?
My heart is fading from its perch,
Sinking into the depths
Where your words cannot hurt it.
My mask is hardening,
Melting together with bone.
It hides the tears.
Soon, there will be nothing left.
Soon...
Soon my soul will be burned through,
Scarred and bloodless and crippled.
I have been here before.
I didn't think to prepare again.
My heart sits on my sleeve
And I can't do any more.
I can do nothing more.
Let the blood fall.
Let my heart break.
It's in your hands.
You make this
Or you break this.
As for me...


Hidden Daggers

I see you standing there,
All perfect and innocent.
Do you think I can't see you?
Do you think I don't know?
I can hear your fingers on the keys.
I can smell the fear of capture.
Scared of being alone
When the final hammer falls,
You drag in someone else
And pray that softens the blow.
I see you standing there.
I know who's really at fault.
All your smiles and intents
Have fallen at your feet.
Your smiles have turned to
Hidden daggers.
Your means have been revealed.
You only want to satisfy
That need to always know.
You think I can't see you?
You think I don't know
When you pry into my mind,
My soul,
Digging for "the truth."
Somehow I still care for you,
Even after all these times.
This isn't the first,
Nor the last,
That your fingers will scar my heart.
You know that I see you.
You can feel that I know.
It's amusing,
Watching you squirm every time I speak.
I doubt you ever will learn.
Your fingers will fly across the keys,
As your good intentions
Hide your nosy needs.
And somehow,
It's all for the good of
Me.


Frosted Glass

Broken pieces float slowly to the ground,
Frozen in time.
Glass pieces glitter and shine,
Bright in the light.
Right now they look so beautiful
Suspended in mid-air,
Slivers of diamonds.
Once they fall, though, I know they will hurt.
They are dangerous beauty.
Through the fog and the beauty,
I can see faces, people,
Watching my life fall around me.
Their eyes glitter in the dark, full of knowledge.
Am I the only one who didn’t see?
I look up at you, see the box which held my heart.
It’s empty now, upside-down.
Why are you smiling?
Why aren’t you helping?
The edges cut my fingers as I try to pick them up.
You wait until blood is all around,
Then silently leave me behind.
They watch me, mock me with frozen eyes,
While I pick up my shattered heart.


Rubies

Red.
It takes a minute, but then it appears, silent and painless like a crimson shadow.
The pain breaks through as the first drop beads, sharp and fierce and clean.

Clean.
That's what it feels like.
Clean from the endless pain and torment trapped inside.
Clean from the anger and frustration and fear, but it's a lie.

Red.
It takes a second, but then the memories come back, silent and painful like a brooding shadow.
The pain breaks through as the razor falls, sharp and deep and ugly.

Ugly.
That's what it feels like.
Ugly from the endless pain and torment trapped inside.
Ugly from the anger and frustration and fear.

It's only a plea for help, a tool to manipulate.
It's a crutch for the weak who don't know how to handle themselves.
So, ugly and red, the insides bleed, unable to do anything, show anything on the outside.

Dirty.
It stays forever, the scars held inside, silent and painful and painless.
The pain breaks through as the walls fall, sharp and fierce and burning.

Burning.
That's what it feels like.
Burning from the endless pain and torment trapped inside.
Burning from the anger and frustration and fear.
Again, the only thing heard is misunderstanding.
Again, the only thing spoken is fear and distrust.

Silent is the reason behind it.
Silently, the red line blushes, beads, and draws a red line down my arm.


Tropical Darkness

The darkness of my soul ebbs and flows
Like the waves along the shore.
It leaves behind a clean, pure slate
Only to return and once again claw at my life.
The waves of darkness have their moods,
Sometimes slowly dragging pieces of me away,
Grain by grain.
Other times, it rages in my chest,
Crashing against my mind,
Ripping away my soul.
The darkness never leaves me,
Like the waves,
There is always one more coming,
Inevitable corrosion,
Undeniable in its call.

The darkness claws at my mind,
Its waves of icy blackness washing over my will.
It is an endless cycle,
Hating the darkness and feeding it off my hate.
I have no escape.
The waves will never stop.
Somehow I must save myself
From the shore’s destitute fate.
Somehow I must not let Eternity wear me down.
The sands of my mind must remain with me.


The Wraith

Darkness pulls at me,
Coaxing me into his loving arms.
Anger builds up against the world,
Against myself.
Darkness, he knows.
He understands.
His eyes watch me.
His smile waits.
Fear engulfs me, drowing me,
Burying me.
All around me, my world is
Ripping, tearing at the seams.
My family is falling apart.
Anger burns inside me.
My father is losing heart.
Fear seeps in,
Drip by drip by unstoppable drip.
My family pulls away.
I watch them.
Darkness watches them.
And waits.
My heart slowly dies.
As I watch my father, it dies.
As I watch his struggle, knowing I'm at fault,
My heart dies.
As I hear his moan, and know I'm killing him,
I fade just a little more.
As I watch him cry, and know I'm helpless,
I step nearer the edge.
Darkness moves closer,
But I push him away.
Fear has almost covered me.
Like an hourglass of sand, it's burying me.

I watch from its glass prison:
My father is a wraith.
His eyes are haunted,
His face is gray.
I remember the days before.
I can still hear his laughter.
But now, the house is silent.
Quiet.
Dead.
I hear him weep.
The last piece left of my heart falls away.
All that's left is a hole.
The ghost of my father,
What's left of him,
Haunts me.
His moans follow me.
His tears drown me.
I can't breath.
I can't scream.
I can't cry.
My tears are frozen in my heart.
My scream catches on my lips.
And my father looks at me.
Dead, blue eyes.
Memories press on my skull.
My father watches me.
I can't yell, tell him to stop.
His gaze sees my soul.

Darkness offers his hand.
The sands of despair have choked me;
I grab that destitute hand,
And he pulls me to him.

Peace.
Calm.
I'm wrapped in Darkness' arms.
Quiet.
Serene.
My father's ghost is gone.


Deco

Decipher ym words.
Can uyo learn ym language?
Do uyo dare to step inside ym world?
Can uyo bear ym pain?
Or will uyo scorn ym shame?
Will uyo learn ym language,
Set me free?

Riddle through ym rhymes.
Can uyo find ym hidden meanings?
Can uyo try to see ym side?
Can uyo see past ym darkness,
And guide me to the light?

Piece together ym puzzle.
Can uyo bear ym pain?
Do uyo see the world through ym eyes?
Can uyo share ym shame?
Will uyo help me bear ym burden?
Will uyo guide me through ym hell,
And onto the next side?

Decipher my words.
Riddle through my rhymes.
Piece together my puzzle.
Save me from my mind.


Dust Motes

Life is meaningless,
We eat, we sleep, we work.
Life is pointless.
We are born, we live, we die.
We were created from dust,
And to dust we return.
Forever the stars watch over us.
Forever they watch us rise and fall.
Empires rise under crystalline light,
And cities crumple under all seeing eyes.
Men are born, building up their
Personal empires under starry watch,
And are buried under a celestial gaze.
Life is meaningless.
It is a fruitless quest
Of treasures gained and wealth lost.
The dust of our ancestors
Mingles with the air of our lungs.
Like a flower,
We live for a day,
Breathe for a moment.
And the next we are
But the faintest memory in an old man’s mind.


Polar By Rain

It arcs across the sky,
Resplendent in gems.
It shivers through the rain,
Backed by stormy dark.
It’s bathed by golden light,
And dazzles lowly earth.
It sits high above and
Smiles down.

It arcs across the sky,
A grimace of brilliant pain.
It shivers in the rain,
Hiding in the storm.
It is scalded by the light,
And bleeds onto the earth,
Thrown high above and
Cries.


Sound-proof

I want to stand out in the rain.
I want to let it pour down my face.
I want to feel the thunder through
The soles of my feet.
I want to watch the wind whip the trees.
I want to feel the cold prickle of
Raindrops on my skin.
I want to stand in the middle of a
Deserted street and see nothing but rain.
I want to be completely alone,
Completely separated from the world
By the silvery veil of silence.
I want the peace found in the rain.


The End of Eden

Beauty surrounds me,
A garden of Eden,
A world of perfection.
Dew glistens on rosy petals,
And the soft whisper of water
Soothes my soul.
Moonlight, starlight trickles in
From the trees above,
And the air seems to glow in serenity.
The blossoms beckon me
With fragrant promises of love and life.
Their upturned faces draw me to them,
Draw me to touch their velvety lips.

One finger softly strokes the edge
Of one pale, delicate rose.
And wherever my fingertip kissed the surface,
Bruised destruction trails.
In this island of paradise,
My fingertip now burns.
In this land of perfection,
I freeze.
One flower petal lays yellowed and tarnished.
Its blemish points at me.
The water seems louder,
Rushing though my ears as this image of life
Withers at my touch.
The moonlight grows sharp;
I feel exposed.
I am a