Abyss by Lucio Razi (i love reading books txt) 📕

away

Alone.

Goodbye, goodnight

Sensitive [Unfinished]

Sensitive

 

Think something's wrong with me

Something, something's broken

Am I broken?

Think there's a leak

Did someone puncture me

Or did I leave the faucet on?

 

Can't stop crying, gasping

Why do these nothings get to me?

Never know what will set me off

Merry Christmas, Have Some Irony

What if I killed myself on Christmas Day

Wrote a note then threw my life away?

Death rings a deafening silence through

Happy birthday Jesus; I just wanted to see You.

 

Joy turns to mournful tears

(I cry but no one hears.)

Don't you understand? This is my Christmas wish

Never put it on a list

And my disappearance is now your gift

Fade

Fade

 

I'm giving up

Nothing was ever enough

Unless too much for you

Am I only looking for attention? Who

Can decide for me

Anything I wanted or tried to be?

If there's no solution to this

Better save you distress and become mist

There is no other way

Close my eyes; it's time to fade.

I don't have the answers

How are you supposed to reply to "How are you?" when the answer is "I almost killed myself last night?"

What do you say to "What's up?" when the answer is "I just put a knife to my skin too many times to count?"

Light / Dark (title uncertain)

Nothing will silence my mind

My thoughts a constant stream of words unkind

No one will mind if I die tonight, no one will mind

Darkness consume me if not the light

 

Drop my body on the ground

Revel in the sudden sound

Close my eyes and play dead

Will it become true if I pretend?

 

Stab my heart and twist the knife

Speed up the ending of my life

I just want this pain to end

‘Cause I just can’t defend

 

Rescue me from the dark

Please don’t let me fall apart

I don’t know why I can’t find

The light, the light; does it shine

For me?

Help me see

 

My life has always been fine but I have never been

I can’t help but sit and watch the world spin

No one will mind if I die tonight, no one will mind

Dress me in black and say goodbye

 

Rescue me from the dark

Please don’t let me fall apart

I don’t know why I can’t find

The light, the light; does it shine

For me?

Help me see

 

Oh, let me go

I don’t want to hold on so

Tightly, as the chain around my neck

There’s no turning back, no turning back

 

Will anyone mind if I die tonight?

Can you pull me out into the light?

I don’t want to make you cry

I don’t really want to say goodbye

 

urges

i screwed up

screwed up--i'm a screwup

i didn't think it would be like this

i'm sorry

please 

you shouldn't have gone to sleep

i don't want you to sleep while you're upset with me

i'm a screwupscrewupscrewup

can't breathe

i just want to presspresspress hard until

blood

red to punish, red to calm even though i deserve this guilt

i just want to stop feeling already

i'm sorry

liberosis

liberosis 

 

I want to scream

"stop moving on without me"

but then I remember

that your life is an infinitely large novel

and I am but a few paragraphs on a page.

glance

glance

 

last night I had a dream that you found out

panic did not exist in your eyes like it did in my chest

you took my arm when I pulled it away

and examined the mess I had made

ugly red marks, I was ashamed

you were silent still, in quiet understanding

friend, please say you will see

in reality, because I didn’t know I needed this until

my sleep led me to believe you might

not really a poem but oh well

worthless trash

if i say goodbye

goodbye

goodbye

just for the attention

what does that make me

 

i want someone to see me

but i'm so so unworthy

attention-seeking

useless

i'm sorry

sick

my guts are trying to climb up out of my insides

jump up through my throat

Drain

Drain

 

I want blood, give me blood

Let it flood up the tub

Don't want yours, no, no, no

I only want to see my own

Red draining out of my arms

Oh don't you be alarmed

When I start to gasp and choke

Dying as I soak

In this blood, blood, blood

Let it rain, let it