What Is Left Of Me by Arianna Erickson (chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT) 📕

My mind is beginning to slumber

Hoping to escape the pain that waits down under.

Down under the surface it lurks;

Bubbles to the top,

Then spills over.

As hard as it tries, no pain can be felt;

I hurt with all I had in me already

All that is left is numbness.

I'm drowning in this sorrow
Can't keep my head held high
Lying in this darkness
Would you blaim me if I want to die?

I can feel the wounds are healing
Slowly closing up
A scar is forming
One I'll never get rid of
Should I scream for help?
So I can be found?
Should I wallow in my self-pity
And let myself drown

I don't know...
I don't know where this current will take me
Maybe off of a waterfall
Beneath a sea of darkness I will fall
Can I let this pain consume me
Since it's hard to feel at all?
But is this pain worth all the hurt
And worth all the blood I have lost?

Can someone save me
From destroying myself
I'm at a loss
I'm lost
For I've found no one at all nor any words
There's an emptiness that consumes
It's left its mark on me I know
Thousands of tiny scars
All over my
Body
My heart
And my soul
Now what is left for me to give now?

Is it even possible
To take this broken and bleeding heart
To undo all that has been done
To clense myself of the old me
And become a new being

But why
Can I only stare into the sky
Bleed until I
Have bled completely dry
What is there left to learn
That hasn't already been burned into my heart?
Tell me what is love really?
Am I loved?

I can feel my heart growing faint

I can feel my lungs burst

I want to close my eyes

So I can just pretend

Even for a minute,

That this is all over.

That my heart has already given up

That my breath has already left my chest

That my soul has already floated away

And my body,

 Starting to decay.

I want to be able to stay this way,

Lost in an empty world.

No thoughts of love or memories

To destroy the peace I’ve found.

Don’t bother trying to wake me,

For I’m happy as I am.

My wish for you is that you continue on your life

Leave mine behind you

And out of your head.

You’re so overrated;

Just like your stupid little games

Just like your evil little smile

Just like your pathetic little lies.

But do not worry,

For soon I’ll no longer be in pain

I can already feel my life ebbing away;

Slipping through my fingers like water.

Like rain being soaked up by the ground,

My life is no longer being sucked up by you like a sponge.

Death has his hand in these matters

Now take your life and go

Before Death steals your life

Just like you stole my soul.

Publication Date: 03-05-2013

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This is dedicated to all the girls who have fallen for guys who weren't worth it. This is also for those who have had a hard life. There is still hope.