What Is Left Of Me by Arianna Erickson (chrysanthemum read aloud .TXT) 📕

Introduction

You may have never met me before. You may not know me or what I have gone through, but through it all I have written poetry and songs. This book only includes the poems, maybe someday I'll make a sequel with the lyrics I've written.

These poems aren't for the faint of heart nor for those who still have a heart left to break. These poems are from the deepest part of my soul, every tear and every word.

The First part of this book is for those of you who have made the mistake of loving the wrong person(s). The one(s) who took your heart and broke, leaving the pieces behind for you to stitch back together.

The Second part of this book is for those whose hearts have been broken, but still found hope in the midst of it.

The Third part is for those who have had a hard life, who feel like there are times life isn't worth it.


Please remember this book is still in progress!

Enjoy.

Book 1: Hurting

Book 1:

Hurting

My Hearts Other Half (March-4-2013)

I feel like there is a knife
Deep inside my heart
Twisting itself around
As if to remind me that this is what happens
That this is what I get for falling in love.
I want to cough up my heart
Spit it onto the ground
Disconnect it from myself
So I can no longer feel the pain from within
It feels as though it may come out on its own
The way it frantically beats for its other half
As if to say that it can't keep going on its own
The way it stops for a moment, as if to listen for a heartbeat such as its own
A beat so similar, yet unique
Signaling its other half is coming home
But no such beat can be found
For my hearts other half is one thousand, two-hundred and nine miles away
Suddenly I feel so cold
All the warmth in my body is leaving
My heart frantically tries to stay alive
To keep beating in hopes of its other half returning
Another breath and the lights go out
My heart is tired and broken
It can no longer hold out
My heart and I spent our whole lives
Trying to find the one person that
Could complete the half of us we were given
We had found that person
But law and time had kept us
Apart...

Wonder (March-4-2013)

Do you ever wonder whether the person who you can't help but think about is thinking about you?
Do you ever wonder whether or not he/she is dreaming of you while you are dreaming of them?
Do you ever feel like you can't see yourself with anyone but them, and them alone?
The feeling of them not being beside you, presses against your heart and twists it until the pain is all you feel?
How not hearing their voice for a single day can do crazy things to your head.
In stead of thinking they could just be busy, you wonder whether you are important.
Loved.
And above all...
Wanted.
But deep in your heart and subconscious you know that they do. That they love you, but you still can't help but
replay their voice in your head, doing the one thing they would never do...
Let you go.
Because your mind tells you you could never be good enough, though your heart wants to believe that you could.
When people around you place doubts in your heart and mind that the one you love could find someone else, not knowing to everyone around you that you are infatuated with them.
You know you cannot show that that person is the most important thing in your life, the consequences to fierce -
Having the one you love taken from you.
Yet, when he finally calls, and reminds you he loves you and is sorry he was so busy he couldn't call, all that pain and doubt washes away.
He fills your heart with joy again and a smile finds its way across your face.
Washing away the thoughts in your mind that crept while you were asleep.
Of his voice telling you he was, "sorry."
It's then you remember that he was the one who first fell for you, who first said, " I love you."
Who hasn't stopped loving you, but still has life to handle too.
But you, for that instant feel secure in your love, knowing he isn't leaving.
Handing him your heart that is wrapped with a red ribbon and tied in a bow
Whispering, " keep it safe, it only beats for you now."

Free (August-17-2012)

A single kiss that lead to such tears
A painful love that I still hold dear
Every night he's on my mind
Cautiously waiting for me to revive
But how can I
Bring myself off of this floor?
If my heart stops beating
Will it ensure
That my hopeless love will still be free
And eventually
Bring him back to me?

Lie called Love (October-6-2012)

Her notebook is lit
By her computer screen alone
She's fighting the thoughts
Of holding the knife to her throat
There are silent tears falling
But no one knows
She's fighting to keep breathing
Feeling lost and alone

Her heart is still aching
From the lies he said
She has realized there is no such thing
As love
In the end

She's trying to put a wall around her heart
To protect her from ever falling apart..
Again

A few days after
It already hurts to see his face
Her heart cracks when
He passes by her without notice
And she wonders
If he'll ever look at her the same way again

She's never felt so strongly
About anyone before
So to teach herself not to let that happen again
She cuts "Love" into her arm

She's stuck with all these
Conflicting emotions
She's not sure if she
Can take anymore
Or so she thinks
While holding the knife to her heart

The tip pricks her skin
But she doesn't cry
In a sick way
She's come to terms with it all
Now she is ready to die
To finally physically break
The heart that has been broken so many times
To hold it in the palm of her hand
And squeeze until it dies
Because she's tired of this lie called "Love"

Painful end (March-16-2012)

How is it I fall for that stupid lie?
That lie "You and I were meant to be"?
When in between the lines all it means is "Goodbye"?
How come in the end...
I'm the one dying and he's off with his new girlfriend?
"Dreams are for dreamers And Love is only a painful fantasy
Is there for a while then it leaves you broken and alone."

 

Love is a lie in disguise

Just a fantasy of mine

Painful is how it always ends

Still waiting (March-11-2012)