Intimacy with GOD by Esher Shoshannah (e book reading free .txt) 📕

was in total surrender to His heart of love, yet I would not go with Him when He pleaded with me." She cries out in her spirit, "Dear Bridegroom of my heart, please, please let me find You once again. I am going to go out into the streets! I don't care what others will think. Whatever the humiliation, whatever the coldness, whatever it takes, I need You and You alone, there is no life without You!"

There is only one thing important to a surrendered believer and that is Jesus alone. Nothing else! There is repentance in her heart already. She now puts feet to her repentance and begins to search for Him whom her soul loves so deeply. He does not make Himself readily available (Psa. 30:7). This does not deter her. Her heart is absolutely focused on restoring "first love" love. The promise kept coming back to her from Jer. 29:13,14, if she would keep seeking He would allow Himself to be found. 

The Holy Spirit knew just how long it would take to strengthen her spirit and see her stubborn will defeated. The lesson would be learned once and for all, never to take her eyes off the Beloved (Heb. 12:1-3).

So many Christians refuse to believe that the "little foxes" or "shadows" in their lives are a result of their own doing. They justify and rationalize their condition. These are those who seek other things to substitute what they had formerly experienced with the Lord. However, nothing really satisfies! They must return to the One whom their soul loves. Some will blame the church and leave. This only covers the emptiness for a short time. Until she faces the fact that the problem was her refusal to listen to His word and turn to go with Him she will never have true peace again.

The answer is to pray Psalm 139:23,24! Let God do the searching and put His finger on the problem. Confess and repent and blessed restoration to His intimacy will be experienced. The fact that she is going about the city streets and the broad ways indicates how much she is willing to risk in order to find Him. Her pride is being dealt with. What an embarrassment! So many people are acquainted with the intimate position given to her (1:3,4,5,6; 2:4) and now they will see her humiliated!

Can't you hear the critical remarks as she roams the streets in search of her Beloved: "How could you have allowed this shameful thing to happen?"; "You don't deserve to find Him."; "I'll never understand why the king didn't pick one of His own kind (1:5)."; "I knew it would never last between you two."; "I don't blame Him for hiding Himself from someone like you."; "I said all along that He was too good for you."!

But a wonderful, still small voice inside of her continues to remind her, "...seek and you will find (Him)." (Matt. 7:7). She dismisses the rude, accusing and piercing comments meant to crush her spirit. Instead of quitting in despair the bride obeys the voice of the Comforter (Helper)! With a new vigor she continues looking.

What are you willing to risk dear Christian in order to find full fellowship with Him again? Are you willing to risk godly repentance and confession in order to be fully restored? Is there a hurt from long ago that needs your forgiveness? This humbling time seems so grievous (Heb. 12:11) but Oh the refreshing peace it brings. The restoration of His intimate presence and "first love" love will be worth it all and so much more! The time of separation will soon be forgotten in the presence of His joy!

 

V.3 "The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?"

In her despair she goes out in the darkness of the city not realizing how dangerous that can be. Who knows what evil plan the enemy had devised to trap her in that darkness and destroy her (I Pet. 5:8). But the Lord has His watchman. They are the ones who were charged with the protection of the city. They were the "early warning system" of Yerushalayim against anyone coming against God's people.

The word "watchmen" is translated "keep" the majority of the time. In her desperation she spills out her heart, “Help me, help me, please, I must find my Love, have you seen Him?” They pointed in the right direction.

Spiritual watchmen have a deep, Spirit-filled understanding of the Word of God, warning us of impending danger. We live in a night season on this earth where the Prince of darkness temporarily rules. No matter how dark it gets we have the Lord’s light in us (John 8:12; Col. 1:13). Thank God she paused to hear instructive counsel! How important it is to listen to those who guard us and warn us (Heb. 13:17). Pray for them as they carry out their God-given gift and responsibility in the power of the Holy Spirit! Glory to God for those who truly care for the sheep's welfare!

 

V.4 "It was but a little (distance) that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth; I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me."

Praise His Holy Name, her searching was for, "...but a little..." Remember how the Lord Jesus dropped a heavy emotional bomb on His disciples just before He went to be crucified? They were in despair. He was leaving them and said that they all would forsake Him, one would deny Him three times and another would betray Him (Mt. 26:21, 31-34; Jn. 13:33)! Their hearts sank. But, praise God, Jesus took time to tell them how they could have peace in the midst of their emotional crisis (John 14:27). He told them this trouble which they must endure would be just "a little while"; that their "sorrow shall be turned into joy. (John 16:16-20)." The first "little while" seems like an eternity but when we see Him it seems as if it were but a moment.

Are you encouraged dear Christian? "...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning (Psa. 30:5)." Your troubles are but for "a little while" if we earnestly seek Him and rest upon His promises.

There could be no contentment of heart until she was basking in the light of His presence and pouring out, once again, her heart-filled "first love" upon Him. Nothing but that could satisfy. As she resumed searching for Him, all of a sudden He was there! Relief comes over her frustrated soul and tears of joy well up in her eyes. She runs to Him and He puts His arms out to her. She becomes totally enwrapped in His embrace. For a while nothing is said - without a word, forgiving love passes from His heart to her heart.

The Bride doesn't need to ask for forgiveness. It is implied by the heart-wrenching hurt of her searching that she had already expressed confession of it on her bed. Much like Peter, when the Lord meets him in John 21 at the seashore and then asks Peter, "Do you love Me?" three times (John 21:15-17). The Lord knew Peter loved Him. He wanted him to confess it publicly and His disciple would be totally restored. Guilt would be removed. He had already wept bitterly concerning his sin and must have cried out in confession concerning it (Mark 14:17). The bride had suffered and in her grief confessed her sin while agonizing on her bed in those lonely nights of separation.

 

PRAY WITH ME: "Dear, dear Abba Father, thank You so much for making me see my deep foolishness; for letting me hurt that I might know just how desperately I need You and how infinitely valuable You are to my soul. Thank You for those You have placed into my spiritual pathway to draw me back to Your loving arms again. My heart is full and I can feel the streams of living water beginning to flow out of my heart over Your feet. I love You so much! In Jesus' name, amen!"

 

"...but I found him whom my soul loveth; I held him, and would not let him go..."

There can be no question about the fervency of her "first love, love" for Him. Four times in the first four verses she states in clear, urgent tones that He is the one "whom my soul loveth."

Holding tightly to Him, with tears running down her cheeks in thankfulness, she, in whispered tones said, "O my Beloved I am so ashamed that I did not go with You! The emptiness has been excruciating. You alone are my reason for living!" He says nothing to her; He doesn't need to; He just presses her closer to Himself with His strong arm around her shoulder. She somehow knew He had already forgiven her and that He was not angry at all with her. The bride had entered into a new knowledge of the depth of His love. It was a love so great that nothing could separate her from it (Rom. 8:35-39). The bride had never experienced this level of unconditional love before.

Take heart, dear surrendered believer! Have you failed your Bridegroom, and yet, you still feel that overwhelming love for Him? Observe very carefully here how He deals with her. He will not be any different with you! Remember, the more you love Him, the more intense you will feel your failure. Get your eyes off the failure and place the eyes of your heart back on Him. He will be found! As they walk together she takes Him to her mother's house. It was there that she had had difficulties with her brothers (1:6). Listen to her, "O my Beloved Bridegroom, come in and meet my family. I want them to know Your heart. May they see how wonderful You really are - my Counselor, my Eternal Father, my Mighty God, my Prince of Peace (Isa. 9:6). O may they be granted to see You as I see You!" But there still was a problem in her life that needed to be dealt with.

There had been a deep seeded bitterness concerning her brothers who had forced her to take care of many vineyards that were not her responsibility. The result? She was unable to take care of her own vineyard (1:6). Every time something reminded her of them the burning resentment rose up in her soul. Lying deep in her soul was a seething, angry spirit of unforgiveness. Now that she has found her Beloved, the bride takes Him to meet the family. He had forgiven her, would she be able to forgive them (Eph. 4:31-32)? Dear Christian, let Jesus, who lives inside of you, go to the door of bitterness and allow Him to forgive that hurt through you, just as He allowed the Father to forgive His enemies while being crucified (Luke 23:34). He could have easily said, "“I forgive them…"” but He didn’t. So pray for that offending person, “Lord I ask You to forgive ____ through me." If it comes back up remind your soul each time that You have allowed the Lord to forgive through you. His forgiveness will become yours. You will begin to feel the wound healing.

 

"...until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me."

As they approached the front door, the bride whispered to her Beloved, "My Love, wait a moment outside here until I go in and make sure everything is O.K. They do not know we are coming and my brothers can be very rude. Give me just a minute." The Beloved quietly took one of her hands and "patted" it with reassurance that it would be all right with Him. He knew though, by her body language