Intimacy with GOD by Esher Shoshannah (e book reading free .txt) 📕

that your heart was just a lie. The fruit He saw in your garden was just an illusion. What good are you?" Oh, these terrible, evil lies from the enemy; the enemy bombards her mind over and over again with them. Were it not for the unseen angels holding on to her she would have been entirely crushed in despair. (Psa. 91:11-12). A confusing cloud of darkness sweeps over her soul.

We cannot open to the Lord whenever we "feel" like it. There is a line that is crossed by the well-intentioned believer which derails their walk with the Lord for a time and brings much needless agony, emptiness and distress. All of the pain this bride will go through could have been avoided if she had kept her heart and eyes on "Him whom her soul loves".

Learn a great lesson here. What seems to be a meaningless act of reluctance may turn out to be an extremely painful experience. Be on the alert for a little "leaven" creeping in. May your heart be sensitive to that "quiet, gentle voice" of the Holy Spirit warning you of danger. Weigh carefully every decision you make, for it can cost you days, months or even years of blessed fellowship and walking in Abba Father’s plan for your life. The more you are in love with Him, the more responsive you will be to His voice!

Notice that there is activity in her walk "I rose up to open" and there is correct action "I opened to my beloved". What caused this lack of sensitivity to His loving invitation to go and minister with Him to those hurting in the darkness? Possibly she was coasting on the great blessing which had just taken place a few days before, where her heart garden was totally pleasing to Him. She was now leaning on the blessing and not the Blessor! It is so easy to do that. Yes, we are to savor the joy of being used as a blessing by Him for His heart and others. Yet, we are never to take our eyes of worship off of Him. At least the lady in this long song is quick to repent. Read Heb. 12:1-3 once again. The answer to all of our needs is to keep our eyes upon Jesus! It’s not how much we know about the Word! It’s how often we keep our gaze upon Him!

 

V.6b "…my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer."

Look at her heart, she immediately realizes what she has done and begins to search for Him in the streets, "...I sought him, but I could not find him...". This bride, who has brought so much joy to His heart, is now wandering the streets of Jerusalem. There is grief and pain in her voice, "My Beloved, where are You? Please, please answer me! I’m so sorry for what I have done! I need You more than ever before! Please let me hear Your voice!" But there was no answer. The agony within would be enough suffering in itself, but now there will be excruciating pain from without. She will be confronted with hurt as never before! Yes, she had changed her mind and went to the door. But that was not enough! She calls out to Him again and again, but all she hears is an unbearable, deafening silence. O how hard it is to read these words, "...he gave me no answer". (Please read all of Psa. 6, in your tears He will hear!)

He had left and moved on in the divine schedule of ministry. The Beloved had to be some other place at a specific time to meet the needs of others and fellowship with them. He deeply desired for her to share in all this glory (John 17:22). 

Previously the attention of her heart had been wholly on Him, but now she lingered too long on self-rights to minister with Him. There is a place in your Christian life when your Beloved calls on you to, "...endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." (II Tim. 2:3). It might be in the middle of the night but you will go with Him. His arm will be around you all the way. (However, for now the tears continue: Psa. 31:9; 38:10; 88:9.)

Why would He not wait? Because her hesitation was sin! With all the blessings she had experienced thus far, the bride should have responded to her Beloved immediately! Think of all the love-filled compliments lavished on her from His heart! Think of the description of her heart garden by Him! Think of the fruit which was enjoyed by Him and shared with others! What a spiritually productive life! Yet, there was hesitation. This was no spiritual baby. This was a full grown, surrendered believer who should have known better. He is going to allow her to experience a few moments without Him again to let her know the dangers of hesitation. He is cleansing her. She will never be the same again. An incredible intimacy awaits her from which she will never turn back. Praise God, Psa. 116:8 will soon become true of her.

 

PRAY WITH ME: "Dear Holy Spirit please have such control of my will that I will never hesitate at the voice of my Beloved. Cause me to be so sensitive with my spiritual ear that I will be able to hear His slightest movement. O Lord Jesus I never want to hurt You as this lady must have. Father, I ask You to grant this for it would glorify You and Your Son (John 14:13,14). In Jesus’ name, amen."

 

 

THE DESPERATION AND DEPRESSION OF LONELINESS 5:7 – 5:8

 

V.7 "The watchmen that went about the city found me, they smote me, they wounded me; the keepers of the walls took away my veil from me."

Can this really be happening to one who has had such a beautiful heart garden; to one who has been so intimate with her Beloved? This verse presents a terrible scene and yes, it can happen to the dearest Christian who decides not to obey the voice of the Beloved. She has a double problem: first, it is her emotions (v.6) for the bride cannot find Him in her desperate search. As the watchmen attacked her, a dark cloud of fear and loneliness enclosed her. Second, the enemy has been given opportunity to attack her unmercifully through well-intentioned "spiritual" leaders. The very people who should be helping her, the enemy uses.

Hear what the Lord has to say to those shepherds who hurt His flock, Jer. 23:1 "'Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of My pasture!' declares the LORD."

 

"The watchmen that went about the city found me..."

At first sight she was relieved to see the watchmen. She thought, "Maybe they will help me once again." But in their eyes was not help, but anger and judgment. Hope turned into fear as they approached. The watchmen represent those who care for the Lord's sheep in some way. It speaks of them in Heb. 13:17, "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls...". She who needs comfort and guidance from the watchmen, will only receive scorn and punishment. These watchmen had previously given her direction (3:3), but now, they have become angry and disgusted with her. One of the watchmen thought, "Has she not learned her lesson? Is she spiritually stupid?" How sad that these "watchmen" immediately judged her without an honest, caring inquiry in hopes of restoring her (Gal. 6:1,2).

 

"...they smote me, they wounded me..."

They remind me of Job's friends who wept with him for seven days (Job 2:11-13), then began to beat him unmercifully with their words of condemnation (Job chapters 11,15,18,22)! Amazing how ready they were to quickly pounce on this lady! Harsh, unloving, critical, sarcastic words "smite" and "wound" so many believers who have sinned. How sad that many counselors (pastors, elders, deacons, teachers, etc.) in the church are quick to condemn if their advice is not obeyed! Yes, there is need for discipline in the church. But we had better be careful how it is administered! Do we want to crush or restore the spirit of the offender? Is the problem pride in the counselor because the advice was seemingly not heeded? Where is Gal. 6:1,2 in all of this? "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Verbal blow after verbal blow is brought against her! Finally the beatings and the insults cease and the "watchmen" and "keepers" of the wall stand there looking at this pitiful sight satisfied she will never be that brainless again!

 

"...the keepers of the walls took away my veil from me."

They rip her veil from her face. These keepers are now going to expose her sin for all to see. The watchmen thought, "Maybe others will get the message that they had better listen to 'spiritual' correction the first time or suffer the consequences." How sad that they did not heed Prov. 10:12, "Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.". A loose word from our lips can make it so difficult for an erring believer to be properly restored. The enemy of our souls loves to have the "veil" torn away and expose our sin to those who are younger or less mature in the Lord. Even if the one corrected returns, many times there is a coldness from those who formerly were warm in their relationship. All those who truly counsel must keep the "walls" up in order to protect the hurting believer. Love does not expose another's sin but keeps it within the spiritual confines of only those who need to know, bringing the offender into restoration. How often "spiritual" Christians expose the sin to others by saying, "You need to pray for brother... ...! Did you know he ... ... ...?" It’s called “gossip” in all of its ugliness.

As she lies there spiritually bleeding, the cold and darkness of night fell around her. She is left unveiled out on the street with her shame exposed for all to see. The enemy of her soul comes quickly to attack her mind. The sharp arrow of self condemnation pierces her soul with such accusing thoughts as, "You deserve all of this! You are worthless! The best thing you can do is to end it all. No one will ever care for you again. You can't even go back to your own country for they have been shamed with what you have done! Nobody cares for you! Just end it all." What a lie from the lips of the enemy! Dear Christian, don't ever entertain such attacks against your mind. Do battle (II Cor. 10:3-5). Begin to praise Him no matter what state you are in (Psa. 8:2; Matt. 21:16). Quote the Word in faith (Jer. 31:3, etc.).

 

PRAY WITH ME: "Dear Father, thank You for making me a gift to Your Son even in my horrible sin-sick condition. Thank You dear Lord Jesus that You would never insult Your Father by trashing His gift to You (me) (John 6:37,39; 10:28,29). Thank You Holy Spirit that all three of You care so deeply for me and are transforming me more and more into Jesus’ beautiful image!"

 

As the light of morning dawns the daughters of Jerusalem appear on the street going to get water from the public well. They stop and cannot believe what they see. Astonished, one of them remarked, "It looks like the King's beloved wife. It can’t be! Impossible!" They hear a moaning sound coming from this unveiled, beaten woman. With tears of unbearable shame streaming down her cheeks she tries