Life of St Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila (e ink epub reader TXT) 📕

previous editions.

3. See Book of the Foundations, ch. iii.

4. In the copy kept in Toledo, the day is Tuesday after the

Assumption (De la Fuente).

5. Ch. xxvii. § 10.

6. St. John xiv. 23: “Ad eum veniemus, et mansionem apud

eum faciemus.”

7. See § 6.

8. Titus ii. 5: “Sobrias, domus curam habentes.”

9. This took place in 1571, when the Saint had been appointed

prioress of the monastery of the Incarnation at Avila; the very

house she had left in order to found that of St. Joseph, to keep

the rule in its integrity.

10. See Book of the Foundations, ch. xxviii.

11. Cant. v. 1: “Veniat dilectus meus in hortum suum,

et comedat.”

12. A.D. 1572.

13. Maria de Velasco y Aragon, Countess of Osorno (Ribera,

lib. iii. c. 1).

14. See Relation iv. § 2.

15. The monastery of the Incarnation, Avila (De la Fuente).

16. St. John of the Cross, at the instance of the Saint, was sent

to Avila, with another father of the reformed Carmelites, to be

confessor of the nuns of the Incarnation, who then disliked the

observance of the primitive rule.

17. 2 Cor. xi. 27: “In labore et ærumna, in vigiliis multis.”

18. St. Matt. xvii. 2: “Et transfiguratus est ante eos.”

19. St. John xiii. 16: “Non est servus major domino suo.”

Relation IV.

Of the Graces the Saint Received in Salamanca at the End of

Lent, 1571.

1. I found myself the whole of yesterday in great desolation,

and, except at Communion, did not feel that it was the day of the

Resurrection. Last night, being with the community, I heard

one [1] of them singing how hard it is to be living away from

God. As I was then suffering, the effect of that singing on me

was such that a numbness began in my hands, and no efforts of

mine could hinder it; but as I go out of myself in raptures of

joy, so then my soul was thrown into a trance through the

excessive pain, and remained entranced; and until this day I had

not felt this. A few days previously I thought that the vehement

impulses were not so great as they used to be, and now it seems

to be that the reason is what I have described; I know not if it

is so. Hitherto the pain had not gone so far as to make me

beside myself; and as it is so unendurable, and as I retained the

control of my senses, it made me utter loud cries beyond my power

to restrain. Now that it has grown, it has reached this point of

piercing me; and I understand more of that piercing which our

Lady suffered; for until to-day, as I have just said, I never

knew what that piercing was. My body was so bruised, that I

suffer even now when I am writing this; for my hands are as if

the joints were loosed, and in pain. [2] You, my father, will

tell me when you see me whether this trance be the effect of

suffering, or whether I felt it, or whether I am deceived.

2. I was in this great pain till this morning; and, being in

prayer, I fell into a profound trance; and it seemed to me that

our Lord had taken me up in spirit to His Father, and said to

Him: “Whom Thou hast given to Me, I give to Thee;” [3] and He

seemed to draw me near to Himself. This is not an imaginary

vision, but one most certain, and so spiritually subtile that it

cannot be explained. He spoke certain words to me which I do not

remember. Some of them referred to His grace, which He bestows

on me. He kept me by Him for some time.

3. As you, my father, went away yesterday so soon, and I consider

the many affairs which detain you, so that it is impossible for

me to have recourse to you for comfort even when necessary,—for

I see that your occupations are most urgent,—I was for some time

in pain and sadness. As I was then in desolation,—as I said

before,—that helped me; and as nothing on earth, I thought, had

any attractions for me, I had a scruple, and feared I was

beginning to lose that liberty. This took place last night; and

to-day our Lord answered my doubt, and said to me “that I was not

to be surprised; for as men seek for companions with whom they

may speak of their sensual satisfactions, so the soul—when there

is any one who understands it—seeks those to whom it may

communicate its pleasures and its pains, and is sad and mourns

when it can find none.” He said to me: “Thou art prosperous now,

and thy works please Me.” As He remained with me for some time,

I remembered that I had told you, my father, that these visions

pass quickly away; He said to me “that there was a difference

between these and the imaginary visions, and that there could not

be an invariable law concerning the graces He bestowed on us; for

it was expedient to give them now in one way, now in another.”

4. After Communion, I saw our Lord most distinctly close beside

me; and He began to comfort me with great sweetness, and said to

me, among other things: “Thou beholdest Me present, My

daughter,—it is I. Show me thy hands.” And to me He seemed to

take them and to put them to His side, and said: “Behold My

wounds; thou art not without Me. Finish the short course of thy

life.” By some things He said to me, I understood that, after

His Ascension, He never came down to the earth except in the most

Holy Sacrament to communicate Himself to any one. He said to me,

that when He rose again He showed Himself to our Lady, because

she was in great trouble; for sorrow had so pierced her soul that

she did not even recover herself at once in order to have the

fruition of that joy. By this I saw how different was my

piercing. [4] But what must that of the Virgin have been?

He remained long with her then because it was necessary to

console her.

5. On Palm Sunday, at Communion, I was in a deep trance,—so much

so, that I was not able even to swallow the Host; and, still

having It in my mouth, when I had come a little to myself, I

verily believed that my mouth was all filled with Blood; and my

face and my whole body seemed to be covered with It, as if our

Lord had been shedding It at that moment. I thought It was warm,

and the sweetness I then felt was exceedingly great; and our Lord

said to me: “Daughter, My will is that My Blood should profit

thee; and be not thou afraid that My compassion will fail thee.

I shed It in much suffering, and, as thou seest, thou hast the

fruition of It in great joy. I reward thee well for the pleasure

thou gavest me to-day.” He said this because I have been in the

habit of going to Communion, if possible, on this day for more

than thirty years, and of labouring to prepare my soul to be the

host of our Lord; for I considered the cruelty of the Jews to be

very great, after giving Him so grand a reception, in letting Him

go so far for supper; and I used to picture Him as remaining with

me, and truly in a poor lodging, as I see now. And thus I used

to have such foolish thoughts—they must have been acceptable to

our Lord, for this was one of the visions which I regard as most

certain; and, accordingly it has been a great blessing to me in

the matter of Communion.

6. Previous to this, I had been, I believe, for three days in

that great pain, which I feel sometimes more than at others,

because I am away from God; and during those days it had been

very great, and seemingly more than I could bear. Being thus

exceedingly wearied by it, I saw it was late to take my

collation, nor could I do so,—for if I do not take it a little

earlier, it occasions great weakness because of my sickness; and

then, doing violence to myself, I took up some bread to prepare

for collation, and on the instant Christ appeared, and seemed to

be breaking the bread and putting it into my mouth. He said to

me: “Eat, My daughter, and bear it as well as thou canst.

I condole with thee in thy suffering; but it is good for thee

now.” My pain was gone, and I was comforted; for He seemed to be

really with me then, and the whole of the next day; and with this

my desires were then satisfied. The word “condole” made me

strong; for now I do not think I am suffering at all.

1. Isabel of Jesus, born in Segovia, and whose family name was

Jimena, told Ribera (vide lib. iv. c. v.) that she was the

singer, being then a novice in Salamanca.

2. See Fortress of the Soul, vi. ch. xi.

3. See Relation, iii. § 16.

4. See above, § 1.

Relation V.

Observations on Certain Points of Spirituality.

1. “What is it that distresses thee, little sinner? Am I not thy

God? Dost thou not see how ill I am treated here? If thou

lovest Me, why art thou not sorry for Me? Daughter, light is

very different from darkness. I am faithful; no one will be lost

without knowing it. He must be deceiving himself who relies on

spiritual sweetnesses; the true safety lies in the witness of a

good conscience. [1] But let no one think that of himself he can

abide in the light, any more than he can hinder the natural night

from coming on; for that depends on My grace. The best means he

can have for retaining the light is the conviction in his soul

that he can do nothing of himself, and that it comes from Me;

for, even if he were in the light, the instant I withdraw, night

will come. True humility is this: the soul’s knowing what itself

can do, and what I can do. Do not neglect to write down the

counsels I give thee, that thou mayest not forget them.

Thou seekest to have the counsels of men in writing; why, then,

thinkest thou that thou art wasting time in writing down those I

give thee? The time will come when thou shalt require them all.”

On Union.

2. “Do not suppose, My daughter, that to be near to Me is union;

for they who sin against Me are near Me, though they do not wish

it. Nor is union the joys and comforts of union, [2] though they

be of the very highest kind, and though they come from Me.

These very often are means of winning souls, even if they are not

in a state of grace.” When I heard this, I was in a high degree

lifted up in spirit. Our Lord showed me what the spirit was, and

what the state of the soul was then, and the meaning of those

words of the Magnificat, “Exultavit spiritus meus.” He showed me

that the spirit was the higher part of the will.

3. To return to union; I understood it to be a spirit, pure and