Life of St Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila (e ink epub reader TXT) 📕

wholly intent upon God.

24. She is also living in great fear about sinning against God,

and doing His will in all things; this is her continual prayer.

And she is, she thinks, so determined never to swerve from this,

that there is nothing her confessors might enjoin her, which she

considers to be for the greater honour of our Lord, that she

would not undertake and perform, by the help of our Lord.

And confident that His Majesty helps those who have resolved to

advance His service and glory, she thinks no more of herself and

of her own progress, in comparison with that, than if she did not

exist, so far as she knows herself, and her confessors think

so too.

25. All that is written in this paper is the simple truth, and

they, and all others who have had anything to do with her for

these twenty years, can justify it. Most frequently her spirit

urged her to praise God, and she wished that all the world gave

itself up to that, even though it should cost her exceedingly.

Hence the desire she has for the good of souls; and from

considering how vile are the things of this world, and how

precious are interior things, with which nothing can be compared,

she has attained to a contempt of the world.

26. As for the vision about which you, my father, wish to know

something, it is of this kind: she sees nothing either outwardly

or inwardly, for the vision is not imaginary: but, without seeing

anything, she understands what it is, and where it is, more

clearly than if she saw it, only nothing in particular presents

itself to her. She is like a person who feels that another is

close beside her; but because she is in the dark she sees him

not, yet is certain that he is there present. Still, this

comparison is not exact; for he who is in the dark, in some way

or other, through hearing a noise or having seen that person

before, knows he is there, or knew it before; but here there is

nothing of the kind, for without a word, inward or outward, the

soul clearly perceives who it is, where he is, and occasionally

what he means. [15] Why, or how, she perceives it, she knoweth

not; but so it is; and while it lasts, she cannot help being

aware of it. And when it is over,—though she may wish ever so

much to retain the image thereof,—she cannot do it, for it is

then clear to her that it would be, in that case, an act of the

imagination, not the vision itself,—that is not in her power;

and so it is with the supernatural things. And it is from this

it comes to pass that he in whom God works these graces despises

himself, and becomes more humble than he was ever before, for he

sees that this is a gift of God, and that he can neither add to

it nor take from it. The love and the desire become greater of

serving our Lord, who is so mighty that He can do that which is

more than our imagination can conceive here, as there are things

which men, however learned they may be, can never know.

Blessed for ever and ever be He who bestows this! Amen.

1. See Life, ch. xxiv. § 4.

2. See Life, ch. xxv. § 18.

3. See Life, ch. xxv. § 20, and ch. xxvii. § 1.

4. See Life, ch. xxvi. § 5.

5. Don Francisco de Soto y Salazar was a native of Bonilli de la

Sierra, and Vicar-General of the Bishops of Astorga and Avila,

and Canon of Avila; Inquisitor of Cordova, Seville, and Toledo;

Bishop, successively, of Albarracin, Segorve, and Salamanca.

He died at Merida, in 1576, poisoned, it was suspected, by the

sect of the Illuminati, who were alarmed at his faithful zeal and

holy life (Palafox, note to letter 19, vol. i. ed. Doblado).

“She went to the Inquisitor, Don Francisco Soto de Salazar—he

was afterwards Bishop of Salamanca—and said to him: ‘My lord, I

am subject to certain extraordinary processes in prayer, such as

ecstasies, raptures, and revelations, and do not wish to be

deluded or deceived by Satan, or to do anything that is not

absolutely safe. I give myself up to the Inquisition to try me,

and examine my ways of going on, submitting myself to its

orders.’ The Inquisitor replied: ‘Señora, the business of the

Inquisition is not to try the spirit, nor to examine ways of

prayer, but to correct heretics. Do you, then, commit your

experience to writing, in all simplicity and truth, and send it

to the Father-Master Avila, who is a man of great spirituality

and learning, and extremely conversant with matters of prayer;

and when you shall have his answer, you may be sure there is

nothing to be afraid of’” (Jerome Gratian, Lucidario, cap. iii.).

6. This book is the Way of Perfection, written by direction of

F. Bañes.

7. The Saint had such great affection for the Order of

St. Dominic, that she used to say of herself, “Yo soy la Dominica

in passione,” meaning thereby that she was in her heart a

Dominicaness, and a child of the Order (Palafox, note to letter

16, vol. i. ed. Doblado).

8. When this father had read the Life, he had it copied, with the

assent of F. Gratian, and gave the copy thus made to the Duchess

of Alba (De la Fuente).

9. See Foundations, ch. xvii. § 12, note.

10. Life, ch. xxiii. § 15.

11. Life, ch. xxvi. § 5.

12. § 4.

13. Life, ch. xxv. § 19.

14. Life, ch. xxv. § 22.

15. See Life, ch. xxvii. § 5.

Relation VIII.

Addressed to F. Rodrigo Alvarez.

1. These interior things of the spirit are so difficult to

describe, and, still more, in such a way as to be

understood,—the more so as they pass quickly away,—that, if

obedience did not help me, it would be a chance if I succeeded,

especially in such difficult things. I implore you, my father,

to take for granted that it is not in my mind to think this to be

correct, for it may well be that I do not understand the matter;

but what I can assure you of is this, that I will speak of

nothing I have not had experience of at times, and,

indeed, often.

2. I think it will please you, my father, if I begin by

discussing that which is at the root of supernatural things; for

that which relates to devotion, tenderness, tears, and

meditations, which is in our power here to acquire by the help of

our Lord, is understood.

3. The first prayer of which I was conscious,—in my opinion,

supernatural,—so I call that which no skill or effort of ours,

however much we labour, can attain to, though we should prepare

ourselves for it, and that preparation must be of great

service,—is a certain interior recollection [1] of which the

soul is sensible; the soul seems to have other senses within

itself then, which bear some likeness to the exterior senses it

possesses; and thus the soul, withdrawing into itself, seeks to

go away from the tumult of its outward senses, and accordingly it

drags them away with itself; for it closes the eyes on purpose

that it may neither see, nor hear, nor understand anything but

that whereon the soul is then intent, which is to be able to

converse with God alone. In this prayer there is no suspension

of the faculties and powers of the soul; it retains the full use

of them; but the use of them is retained that they may be

occupied with God. This will be easily understood by him whom

our Lord shall have raised to this state; but by him whom He has

not, not; at least, such a one will have need of many words

and illustrations.

4. Out of this recollection grow a certain quietude and inward

peace most full of comfort; for the soul is in such a state that

it does not seem to it that it wants anything; for even speaking

wearies it,—I mean by this, vocal prayer and meditation; it

would do nothing but love. This lasts some time, and even a

long time.

5. Out of this prayer comes usually what is called a sleep of the

faculties; but they are not so absorbed nor so suspended as that

it can be called a trance; nor is it altogether union.

6. Sometimes, and even often, the soul is aware that the will

alone is in union; and this it sees very clearly,—that is, it

seems so to it. The will is wholly intent upon God, and the soul

sees that it has no power to rest on, or do, anything else; and

at the same time the two other faculties are at liberty to attend

to other matters of the service of God,—in a word, Martha and

Mary are together. [2] I asked Father Francis [3] if this was a

delusion, for it made me stupid; and his reply was, that it

often happened.

7. When all the faculties of the soul are in union, it is a very

different state of things; for they can then do nothing whatever,

because the understanding is as it were surprised. The will

loves more than the understanding knows; but the understanding

does not know that the will loves, nor what it is doing, so as to

be able in any way to speak of it. As to the memory, the soul, I

think, has none then, nor any power of thinking, nor are the

senses awake, but rather as lost, so that the soul may be the

more occupied with the object of its fruition: so it seems to me.

They are lost but for a brief interval; it passes quickly away.

By the wealth of humility, and other virtues and desires, left in

the soul after this may be learnt how great the blessing is that

flows from this grace, but it cannot be told what it is; for,

though the soul applies itself to the understanding of it, it can

neither understand nor explain it. This, if it be real, is, in

my opinion, the greatest grace wrought by our Lord on this

spiritual road,—at least, it is one of the greatest.

8. Raptures and trance, in my opinion, are all one, only I am in

the habit of using the word trance instead of rapture, because

the latter word frightens people; and, indeed, the union of which

I am speaking may also be called a trance. The difference

between union and trance is this, that the latter lasts longer

and is more visible outwardly, because the breathing gradually

diminishes, so that it becomes impossible to speak or to open the

eyes; and though this very thing occurs when the soul is in

union, there is more violence in a trance for the natural warmth

vanishes, I know not how, when the rapture is deep; and in all

these kinds of prayer there is more or less of this. When it is

deep, as I was saying, the hands become cold, and sometimes stiff

and straight as pieces of wood; as to the body, if the rapture

comes on when it is standing or kneeling, it remains so; [4] and

the soul is so full of the joy of that which our Lord is setting

before it, that it seems to forget to animate the body, and

abandons it. If the rapture lasts, the nerves are made to

feel it.