Meagan Brewer by EverCaptivating (the kiss of deception read online .TXT) 📕

Meagan Brewer
Looking for Mr. Right

Saturday, January 3rd, 2010

I woke up with the worst hangover this morning. My hair was a knotted mess of dark tangles and I had raccoon eyes that made me jump when I caught my reflection in the mirror. Thank God, I woke up alone or I might have scared someone else with my bed-face catastrophe!

Last night I wore a tight black dress with spaghetti straps and I had gone for the seductive smoky look with my eye shadow, which was beautiful with the silky red lipstick I had bought recently. I was smoking hot when I walked out the door, but this morning I can hear my mother’s voice, ‘Meagan you should wash your face before bed, it’s what all pretty girls do to keep from looking old before their time.’

Mom, get out of my head!

My dating history is full of what I call, false ups, and truly drastic lows. Last night, my date with Bob from accounting topped my list of truly drastic lows. He started crying at dinner while talking about his ex-wife. I tried to comfort him, but that made it worse and then, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to run out of the restaurant. Besides his crying, there were a couple other impressions that turned me off. First of which, he was balding (a little detail Charlie forgot to mention) and secondly, he was overweight, he probably sat in front of the T.V. using his beer gut to hold his plate of food, which would explain why he kept staining his shirt with sauce.

I thanked him for the dinner as politely as I could and told him I hoped everything worked out for him, and then, thankfully, caught up with Terra at a local club. L.A. always has something fun going on all hours of the night and Terra knew all the best places to go. We had so much fun dancing all night, but my headache was evidence that I went a little too far with the Goldschläger.

As I cleaned my face, I wondered why I allowed Mr. Charlie Fredrickson to convince me to go out with someone from the office. I promised myself last year, after Hector in purchasing that I would never date another co-worker. That debacle was memorable for all whom witnessed the Spanish rant he gave me about not accepting his roses the next day. The guy tried to put his hand down my pants when I hugged him goodnight. Ewe! Mr. Pervert!

Unfortunately, I believed Charlie when he said Bob was a nice guy, and he was nice in a wimpy-sad-puppy way. However, Balding Bob is not my type and I had thought Charlie knew me better than that.

Note to self: Do not allow Charlie to hook you up with anyone else.

Besides, Charlie is usually dating two women at the same time, this week one of them is a hot executive from the office and the other one he met at a local bar. They never lasted long, maybe a week or two, and then he would move on. Why did I ever think he could set me up with someone decent? He’s the kind of person that is better for advice about why guys do what they do and what they really want from a woman.

M.B.

Saturday, January 9th, 2010
I met a guy online a few days ago named Shane. From his pictures online, he has a smoking hot body, he says he likes rock-climbing, walks in the park, and enjoys Italian food. I’ll be seeing him tonight and I’m so excited I can hardly decide what to wear. I tried my girls, but all I got were their voice mails. I decided to call Charlie. He knows how to calm my nerves and help me think straight in my frazzled state of excitement. I bet he suggests a big glass of wine…

I am feeling comfortably warm now from the wine and of course, Charlie is my savior. He helped me to decide on the black dress I wore to the Christmas Party last year. He sarcastically joked about how under the right lighting that I could have Rodeo Drive legs. He told me that I should stand under all hanging lamps, preferably those above the tables or bars. Of course, if I wanted the highest impact, a street corner could get me some real buzz, which from him is a compliment given in his own way. His blithe sarcasm lightened my mood and that’s exactly what I needed. I sipped my glass of wine while he joked about my many “charms” and that I should consider not talking too much. I wasn’t nervous about how I would look, but rather if this guy was a winner, or just another loser I was dressing up in stilettos for tonight. I saw so much potential from his profile. If I were being honest, I was bordering desperate for a false up. It’s so pathetic, I know and truly, I shouldn’t be writing it down. I’m crossing my fingers that this is Mr. Right.

I am thankful to have Charlie, my Go-To Guy, he knows just how to console me and listens better than most men I know, and I don’t have to worry about him trying to sleep with me. Not that he isn’t attractive because he is and he knows it. I met Charlie, Mr. Wanna-be-Smooth at a club the night before I started at the office, and let’s just say that he didn’t think he was going to see me again. When we saw each other at the office, he actually apologized for his behavior, but I assured him that the bad pick-up lines were his real problem. From then on, we fell into a rhythm of something like a sibling rivalry with dating and sarcasm. He has become my insight to the man's side of things (not that I always listen), while also claiming to know women better than me. Whatever, I think I have a better perspective on woman, being that I am one.

M.B.

Monday, January 11th, 2010

Disappointed!
Charlie said I came on too strong with Mr. Biceps the other night and that’s why he hasn’t called. The whole ‘He’s just not that into you Meagan’ cliché is pissing me off. Come on, just because I told him that I wanted to tie the knot one day and have three kids. I wasn’t pressuring him into marriage; we were only talking about what we wanted.

Well, fine Mr. Biceps don’t call me! Besides, he kept telling me why I shouldn’t eat what was on the menu. Why did he choose an Italian (his favorite cuisine, per his profile) restaurant if he couldn’t eat the food? Did he want a double protein shake with a side of steroids? Bite me muscle man!

I’m glad he didn’t call, but I’m not going to admit that to Charlie, he would gloat all week and I cannot give him the satisfaction. He was already gloating about his last model/actress he hooked up with this weekend, but of course, he didn’t call her back. I rolled my eyes the minute he mentioned getting her roommates number while he was there. Men!

M.B.

Friday, January 15th, 2010

I am taking my profiles off these stupid dating sites. No more pond scum for me because I seem to attract floaters. These drifters, losers, and mama’s boys and I don’t know how much more I can take.

This afternoon was the final straw. I met a guy for a mini-date at a coffee shop. Brandon, The Bum hadn’t had a job longer than three months and still lived with his dad, both details he failed to mention when we chatted on-line. He spat when he spoke and I don’t think he had had a haircut since his profile picture was taken. When he asked me to buy his coffee, I knew it was not going to be the ideal date, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he said he had been so nervous about meeting me that he must have forgotten his wallet. It’s too bad he talked about himself the entire time, until of course I interrupted him to tell him I needed to use the ladies room.

I let him watch me walk out the door.

Charlie laughed when I called to tell him about leaving Brandon, The Bum at the coffee shop. He met me at the movies to catch a black and white. A bag of popcorn and a soft drink always makes me feel better. We meet up once or twice a month to do this, always because my dating life had hit a stupor. In truth, Charlie was one of my best friends, though he

would never admit it. It was nice to have someone there, even if half the time I thought he was a man-whore and we fought like siblings. He could make a woman happy if he could ever settle down. I only knew about one long-term relationship he had with a girl named Shannon and six months into their engagement, she packed her bags and left. I think it… no, I know it hurt him.

M.B.

Saturday, January 16th, 2010

I had a great time with the girls tonight; we hung out at a club and danced our bums off. There is nothing like girl time and eye candy to boot. The night would have ended better if Kristy and Terra hadn’t picked up some guys and rode off into the great beyond. I went home in a taxi. Alone.

It’s probably better this way. Men are a crapshoot for me lately and by lately I mean, the last six years. My last long-term relationship was with Jake and he was cheating sack of… I don’t miss him. I don’t miss having someone undependable or that uses me for my paycheck. No, not one bit.

Well, I do miss having someone here when I get home for Friday night pizza, having someone to share Sunday morning IHOP breakfast with, and I miss the warmth of a body in my bed. I used to cuddle up along Jake’s side when I got cold. I remember how he hated it when I pressed my cold toes to his legs.

Now, I wear two pairs of socks and they twist when I sleep. I miss the little things, but not him.

M.B.

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Kristy convinced me to go on a blind date this weekend with a guy that her girlfriend from college knows. I know I’m a stupid girl

! However, Kristy was convincing and it couldn’t hurt to go on a date with a man named John Stanley, it sounded like a strong name. The most convincing viewpoints Kristy offered with her caffeine induced enthusiasm was that he had a great job as an executive at a firm in L.A.; he lives on his own, owns two cars, and he’s single, which sounds better than the last ten guys I’ve dated.

When I told Charlie about my blind date and the prospect of a decent guy on the horizon, he joked about what I would call this guy by the end of the night. Mr. Executive, Mr. Moneybags, or Mr. I-Own-This-Car-Because-I-Have-a-Small… we’ll leave