Pit of despair (Sample) by Daniel Pridgeon (ereader manga .TXT) 📕

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Chapter One

Josh crashed down onto the bed in a flood of tears.

"Why do I fuck everything up all the time?" he sobbed to himself. Josh had just been in an argument with the love of his life, Kieren. Josh is gay and started telling people 2 years before this argument. He was tall (5"11) and his build was slender yet muscular. His blonde hair was short and almost always styled with gel. He had beautiful, sparkling, blue eyes. He always wore simple, yet fashionable clothing and presented himself well. Josh was 17 and his relationship with Kieren was nearing the 2 year mark.

 The couple met at school in science, when they were both partnered together for an experiment. They both talked, totally forgetting about the experiment at hand. The pair both got on really well and decided to hang out at lunch. Talking about their lives and interests it was realized by the pair that they had a lot in common. They liked the same music, TV shows, and films and were both regulars on the local night life scene. Josh had only just come out as gay and seeing Kieren was love at first site, they had been together ever since. They had never argued before, but now that they had Josh didn't know if the relationship could be saved.

 Kieren had been stood against a corridor wall looking at Josh's phone when a text came through.

From: Unknown

Message: I miss talking to you babe. Love T. Xx

Kieren almost cried but managed to hold himself together. He walked over to Josh, who was now stood talking to Meghan – one of the duo's close friends. Kieren slapped Josh across the face.

"You cheating bitch" he shouted. By this point half of the college were gathered around watching and chanting "fight" in unison.

 The College was a relatively small community college in the heart of London. It was modern but still managed to keep a homely feel. Teachers were friendly and genuinely cared about the students – Unlike the teachers in most London schools. Friendship groups amongst the students were very close knit and rarely broken into by “outsiders” (AKA: New students). Arguments were rare amongst students here but when they happened, they happened in style.

 Josh recovered from the hit and said as calmly as he could.

"What makes you think I’ve been cheating?" ...Kieren held out the phone revealing the just received text.

"Who the fuck is 'T'?" Kieren yelled.

"I can explain. This isn't what you think"

"Well it certainly looks like you've been cheating to me!" The spectators had realized that a fight was not going to happen so had all dispersed into their little groups.

 "I was speaking to Tom before we met. We weren't together and I stopped talking to him as soon as we got together. I even deleted his number." Josh explained.

"Why should I believe you?" Kieren questioned.

"Because I love you with all my heart and always will" Josh said this whilst moving closer to Kieren, clutching his shirt where his heart was at the same time.

"Yeah? Well that's not good enough! Why's he still texting you?" Kieren questioned further.

"He really liked me but I didn't feel the same way about him. Trust me babe, you're the only guy that I love." Josh explained, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Sorry but that's a shit answer. He's still messaging you because you didn't ask him to leave you alone, you probably only deleted his number so I didn't find out about your dirty little affair." Kieren threw Josh's phone at the wall before storming off.

 Josh tried to catch up but Kieren was already gone. He fell to his knees and began sobbing into his hands. Meghan walked up to her friend, wrapped her arms around his hunched shoulders and spoke comforting words.

"Don't worry, he'll come around" Meghan stated.

"I know what he's like, he won't let this go!" Josh said tearfully.

 2 hours later Josh still lay on his bed, crying uncontrollably. He looked at the small clock on his bedside table '5 pm'. The boy sat up on his bed, dried his eyes and headed downstairs. Josh's mum was there and immediately noticed her son had been crying. She approached the tearful boy and embraced him in her arms before saying.

"What's wrong?" Josh's tears resumed before revealing what had happened to his loving mother. She assured him that Kieren would see sense and come to speak to him eventually. His mother then told him to put his coat and trainers on so that they could go and get him a replacement phone.

 The following day Josh was heading towards Maths when he saw Kieren standing in the corridor with some friends. He approached the guy he loved.

"Kieren please liste..." Kieren began to walk away before Josh could finish what he was saying. Josh grabbed Kieren’s hand to stop him walking away. That was when he saw the cuts. Kieren quickly snapped his hand from Josh's grip and continued to walk away. Josh shouted after him.

"Please let me explain!" but no response was gained.

 The rest of the day couldn't have gone slower. Each minute felt like a lifetime. Every time Josh saw Kieren a tear welled up in his eye. He tried to explain to Kieren several times but the boy he loved still refused to listen. Kieren even told Josh to "piss off" at one point. 'And what were those cuts?' Josh thought to himself. Josh pulled out his phone and typed out a text.

To: Kieren

Message: Kieren please let me explain! It’s not what you think. I'm hurting so much inside and I really need to talk to you. Come to mine after school so I can explain? … please Xx

Josh didn't expect a reply, but was shockingly received a response straight away.

From: Kieren

Message: Leave me alone! You cheated on me and that's all there is to it. I need time to sort my head out. Just leave me alone.

Josh returned the phone to his pocket. He found the nearest seat, the blue bench in the corridor, sat on it and cried – resting his head in his hands. Lilly, his best friend, noticed him crying so walked up to Josh and comforted him.

"What's wrong, why you crying?" Lilly asked soothingly. Rather than explaining Josh just handed his friend his phone. Lilly read the texts and immediately knew what to do.

"Look, if he doesn't believe what you said yesterday then he's not worth the tears. If he honestly thinks you've been cheating then you're better off without him." Lilly explained.

"But he's the love of my life. I've never loved anyone as much as him. I can't just let him slip away from me like this." Josh tearfully responded.

"I see where you're coming from. Remember, similar things have happened to me. If he really loves you he'll come back to you I promise." Lilly said. "How about you wait a couple of weeks before trying to speak to him again? He probably just needs time to think. And on the bright side, you got a new phone out of it!" Josh laughed at how Lilly always looked on the bright side of things. No matter what the situation was Lilly always managed to find something good out of it and never refrained from pointing it out.

"Lilly you always know the right thing to say. I guess you're right. I'll try and speak to him next week after he's had chance to think."

"That's my best friend." Lilly said whilst rubbing Josh's hair teasingly. "Anyway it's Friday, how about we go clubbing?"

"Yeah… sure. I'll text you later to arrange it. I better get home." Josh stood up and gave Lilly a hug. "See ya, thanks for making me feel better"

"Don't mention it, see ya later babes."

On the way home Josh tapped out a text to Lilly. They arranged to meet at GAY, the best nightclub in the area. Josh was happy for the first time in 2 days and was excited about his night out clubbing with Lilly. He always felt comfortable around Lilly and trusted her with everything. She was the first person he told that he was gay.

Josh and Lilly became best friends when Lilly was pushed into Josh by her friends, they got talking and quickly became best friends. They spoke to each other every day after that. As far as they were concerned they would always be friends.

About 10 minutes later Josh was at the top of his small street.

Josh's house was on a lovely street and the neighbours were all very friendly and accepting of his sexuality. Crime rarely took place in this little area and the street was highly maintained by both the residents and the council with no graffiti or litter. Residents all kept their gardens neat making the area pleasant to look at. Josh's house was large and had 3 bedrooms: One for him, one for his mum and one left spare.

Josh opened the front door and stepped inside. Whilst hanging his jacket on a peg and removing his shoes he shouted... hoping that someone was actually home and he wasn't just shouting to no one.

"Mum I'm home. I'm going out with Lilly later." Josh began heading upstairs.

"OK sweety" His mum replied. Once upstairs Josh headed to his room.

 Josh's room was a dark Purple with black flowers painted on the walls. His bed was in the centre of the wall opposite the door with a window to the left of the bed. He also had a wardrobe and a chest of drawers in his room. Josh loved Purple, as anyone visiting his room would quickly guess.

 Josh opened his wardrobe, threw all of his clothes on the bed and began trying them on. After about half an hour Josh decided upon what he wanted to wear. He decided on his white t-shirt with a black Aztec pattern printed across the chest, his favourite skinny jeans and his purple vans. He looked in the mirror and decided his outfit looked good. Josh took the outfit he'd chosen off and carefully lay it upon the bed... being particularly careful not to crease the t-shirt or jeans. Josh then walked across the landing to the bathroom, naked, and turned on the shower.

 After stepping out of the shower and completely drying off, Josh sprayed himself with lynx deodorant including some Diesel aftershave and got dressed. He looked at his clock - '7:30 pm'

"Shit I’ve only got half an hour to get there!"

Text: Daniel Pridgeon
Editing: Daniel Pridgeon and Marcus Porter
Publication Date: 06-28-2013

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
I dedicate this book to all gay people who are just coming out and also to all same sex couples in long term relationships. I also dedicate this book to Marcus Porter who helped me