Forever Yours by Rajanii Chung (read people like a book .TXT) 📕

I remember laying on my bed and praying that my foster dad wouldn't come home. Praying that he was not going to come stumbling through the front door drunk and wanting sex. I was scared that he would beat me and try to rape me once again. The sting from every punch and every whip. The pain of him entering me and doing anything he pleased. I was afraid of him all together and never wanted him to come home.

I could still hear Robert's words in my ears loud and clear. I would be cryong and begging him to get off of me and not touch me anymore. I would fight him, so he wouldn't touch me but I was weak back then. I couldn't do anything to get him off of me.

"You're mine!" he would shout in my ear. "I can do with my property, what I please!" 

I hated that man with all of my soul and heart. He wasn't my only foster dad to rape me. But he was the worst. The only one that wasn't married and lacked sexual contact with women. So he took out all his sexual frustrations out on me. He would get drunk and rape me almost every night. He was the biggest skeleton in my closet. 

The only person that I ever told this to was James. He was the only guy I trully loved and made my life in Georgia a good one. But he didn't know that I caught him sleeping with another girl. Seeing as he is the bad boy type, I didn't think it was that bad. Not until I found out that he was in love with her. But I guess you don't choose who you love and who loves you. It just happens. The people that loved me beat me for not loving them back and then they would rape me.

So the bit of love I got from James made me feel safe. But not for too long. I knew I owuld have to let him go sooner or later. I just didn't know how I would let him go and become my own person.

“Let me come over today.” James whispered in my ear before I tried to get out of his car.

I laughed, “No. Not today.” I said as I kissed him on the lips gently and got out of the car. “Call me okay?”

“See you later babe.” He said as he drove off.

I watched him as he drove off and smiled half-heartedly. He was the only man who understood everything about me. I was so happy to have found him when I moved in to this town and didn’t know a single person. Even though he is the bad boy of my school. But even though I love him so much I know his secret and that he plans on leaving me when he feels the time is right.

But he hasn’t left me yet. I’d probably die without him and I guess that’s the reason why he is still with me now. But I’m trying to let him go on my own. So that it wouldn’t hurt as much when he does leave because I would be the one to end it.This is because I’ve been thrown away so much, the feeling of being thrown away now would just hurt too much. I want to feel like I’m not the one being thrown away this time.

I went inside my house and through my bag on an empty chair. Here I am, alone again. Of course I wanted James to come in but I wouldn’t have been able to resists temptation if he did. Of course, that would be because he was going to be my first. That is only if he didn’t plan on leaving me for the chick he’s been sneaking around behind my back with.

I began cooking myself something to eat and pulled out some things for a salad. I sat at the table and made the salad as some water was boiling the noodles for some pasta. It was easy to cook the salad and the sauce and when the noodles were done I made a bowl and sat down to eat. I was eating at home alone. Again.

I went in to my room to get my undergarments and bathroom supplies to shower after I finished eating my meal. It was time for a shower. I turned on the water and waited about two minutes for it to heat up. I got undressed and looked at myself in the mirror. I was beautiful but on my stomach, back, arms, and legs were scars from my abuse from some of my foster parents.

One of my old foster dads really did enjoy beating and raping me when I was younger. So I was left with these scars. I closed my eyes and got in the shower. My mind was in complete thought as I let the water trinkle all over my body. Maybe I should leave James before he walks out on me first and leaves me heart broken.

No, I couldn’t do that. I let the water fall on my body for a little while longer and then began to wash up. I grabbed some shampoo and washed my hair as well and it felt good to wash my hair after a long day. After rinsing myself I felt more relaxed than I ever did after taking a shower so I turned off the water and got out of the shower. I heard a loud crash soon after and it scared me. It sounded like glass breaking from the outside but I wasn’t sure.

I froze for a second but continued to turn off the water eventually, I put on my undergarments after drying off and wrapped the towel around me. As I crept out of the bathroom I began to hear noises coming from the kitchen. Someone had broken into my house and the glass breaking must have come from the breaking of a window or the back door. I grabbed the dagger I had hidden in the drawer of a desk in the hallway.

I slowly came closer to the kitchen. As I came to the entry way a hand shot out and slammed me against the wall. I winced in pain and looked at the intruder. My hands locked around his big wrists when I noticed that it was a man that had me pinned against the wall with one hand. He was injured and there was blood everywhere.

As he looked into my eyes I saw something. Something that wasn’t even a little bit human. He slowly eased up after staring at me for five minutes straight. He let me go and went to the needle and thread that was on the table. When he was staring at me. it was like he was trying to see if I was a threat to him or not. I guess he decided not.

He kept glancing back at me though, “I’m sorry.” his voice was rough.

I scooted against the wall for support, “For what? Breaking in to my house or trying to kill me?” Who was this guy exactly?

He growled at me, “Both.” he roared as he stabbed the needle through his skin.

Damn I must b crazy, “Let me do it.” I said in a sharp tone.

He eyed me, “Maybe you should put on some actual clothes first.”

I looked at myself and saw that I was still in a towel so I ran to my room to put on some clothes. I threw on some shorts and James’ shirt. I walked back into the kitchen to see the guy trying to stitch his own wound still.

I smacked his hand away and began boiling some water and I slowly took the thread that was already in his arm out. He looked at me curiously but didn’t say a word to me. I opened a cabinet beneath the sink and grabbed the anti-infection cream so I could put it on his wound. This guy probably knew nothing about tetanus.

I poured it on his arm and he roared in pain. I made him stay still. The word ‘pain’ seemed way too familiar. So I understood what he was feeling. The water finished boiling so I put the needle and thread in it for a few minutes. Soon after I began stitching him up.

“How is it that you know how to do this?” He said in a gruff voice.

I smiled a forced smile, “Because I had to stitch up my own wounds in some of my old foster homes. But I learned the hard way.”

“You’re a foster child?”

I laughed, “Obviously. But many of my families didn’t really want me. So i was given the ability to move around as long as I came back when the social worker appeared.”

He smiled a fake smile, “Must have been hard.”

“I guess it was at first. But after awhile I learned to fight back against the abusive ones.”

He looked into my eyes again, “Girls shouldn’t fight.”

“I agree. But even that is true, we still have little to depend on all the time. We are not ensured protection since birth.” he winced again. “Sorry. What I mean is, sometimes we are the only ones who can protect us.”

He nodded, “Understandable.”

I cut the needle from his arm and tied the thread that was left gently so I wouldn’t hurt him again. I cleaned his wound up a little more and then put everything we used away.

“You should stay here until it heals. It could get infected.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Whatever you say.” I said closing the cabinet.

He finally noticed my shirt, “Boyfriend?”

I blushed, “Yeah, for now.”

“Why’s that?” he sure did ask a lot of questions.

“Because I found out that he is actually in love with someone else.” I smiled lightly so I wouldn’t cry. “ I’ve never had a love like that. So I don’t wish to steal it from someone. Especially not him. He saved me from killing myself awhile back.” I looked out the window, “ He deserves happiness.”

Delinquent or not James was a good guy. He never did anything to hurt me on purpose. I love him. So I need to be the one to let him go. So neither of us get hurt in the end and he can be happy.

The stranger said nothing to me so I went upstairs to get some blankets to set on the couch. It would be wrong of me to send him away with that cut on his arm. I set things up on the couch and he stared at me with utter confusion of what I was doing with the extra blankets.

“Well I can’t send you away since you’re injured.” I blurted out.

He smiled, “If you insists.” He sounded defiant still.

He sat down on the couch, “Okay, so the bathroom is down the hall and I’d love it if you fixed the window you broke. If you need anything, my bedroom is across from the bathroom.

He nodded, “Thanks.”

“Yeah, whatever. What’s your name? I can’t have