I'll Buy That Dream by Anna (good book club books .txt) 📕

"There could have been
no two hearts so open
no tastes so similar
no feelings so in
unison"

(From Persuasion by Jane Austen)

Autumn 1976


He had been gone for a long time but it feels like he still here with me. His scent still
lingers as if he was in the next room. We were so young when we got married but we were so
in love too. Kevin and I had purchased a small house with a nice view near the college where
we both studied. The house wasn't brand new it needed some work done. We were trying to make
our lives pleasent as we finished our college and start doing what all couples do, build a family. When we met Kevin was shy but he managed to approached me, we were good friends first
and talked between classes, from the first moment I saw him I knew he was perfect for me. We were truly confortable with each other and I loved seeing him on the field, he was such a good
football player. He was a bit older than I was and closer to graduation. Looking back at those first autumn days when our friendship blossomed I still feel the scented pine and berry smell in
the air and Kevin's laughter as we joked, he would carried my books for me sometimes and have
serious talks about life.

Time has passed but I still hear his voice as he said "Annie you shouldn't be scare you will always have me by your side no matter what happens" those words are so true. I am alone in a cruel world but knowing that my son needs me is an incredibly loving feeling. Somehow his soothing face has his dad's features and brings me pleasure in a difficult world. The scent of lavander hits my nose, laundry is on the line, some of it for the rest is on the dryer. Lavander brings me good memories of how Kevin liked the smell of his shirts, letting go of that familiar scent was imposible for me, it reminded me of my husband. Time alone is always hard, the house is filled with with sweet memories, I don't avoid them, I let them be. I smell the shirts and just fold them. For a moment a song makes me stand still, the radio is on, tears rund own as I touch my wedding band, it feels like I just lost him. I look outside my bedroom window and it all comes back to me. I pick up Kevin's picture in his football uniform from my dresser, he seems to be smiling as telling me "you'll get by, hang on", I crushed it against my chest sobbing slightly, "my perfect boyfriend, my perfect husband", I whispered.

We were married for six years and it was perfect, maybe too perfect. Time would never erase the beautiful moments. A Doris Day song filled the air, I had turned off the radio and had my small record player on, her songs for some reason always brought me closer to Kevin, her songs have the same softness as his heart, he was a softspoken man. We were a happy couple and never had strong arguments, I felt many times that things that are so perfect vanish from life at some point for wonderful things don't last forever but I was wrong because even if he is gone his love lasts forever, is a feeling that the hearts holds on too and is somehow wonderful even if you still grief the absence of your love. I listened to the song "I'll Buy That Dream", hot tears run down my face, the lyrics are so perfect for us, we really lived a dream. Our friendship and later courtship and when we had our little son, it all came to bring us laughter and joy, now as I listen to the song my heart fills his warm and all I want is to feel him holding me, I close my eyes and there he is, tall and handsome, tender and gentle, I don't want to open my eyes for it seems Kevin is with me so I let myself go with the song and his image, Kevin is alive one more time and I am smiling through my tears.

Text: c2011
Publication Date: 12-10-2011

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