WITH THE DREAMS OF THE UNKNOWN by Rosalynn Rivas (good summer reads txt) 📕

"Time is all I want. It's all I wanted, more time. I can never get enough time." I repeated to the woman who sat across from me with a notepad on her thigh, a pen in her hand that was moving, writing. Writing what? I don't know. I repeated the words I spoke before, not exactly sure why I'm saying it again or why I needed more time. She wanted an explanation. Hell, I wanted an explanation. "They never gave me enough time. They all expect me to get over it, but how? To have someone leave your life willingly hurts. They don't know that. They think she'll come back, that they always do." I took a shaky breath, only half the oxygen making it to my lungs. "She's gone. She left me and I don't know why, and now I'm not sure I want to. Rosalina has her reasons for everything she does. She only said what you needed to know. Her actions are ruled by thoughts of what would happen next." Wait, who is Rosalina. Why I’m I saying this stuff? I looked the therapist in the eyes, my gaze never breaking from hers. "I know why she ran away. I know that she's okay. I also know where she is." I clearly stated, scaring myself yet I wasn’t able to express it. It’s like my body isn’t my own.

The therapist looked at me, analyzing me and a flash a fear went across her face before she quickly hid it. She took a deep breath. "Why don't you tell me?"

"I can't." I replied. "It's a secret. The only thing I can tell you is, she's okay. She's fine. She'll be found soon, too. Heaven just couldn't wait for her.”

                   "Star light, Star bright Please don't let me die tonight

              The evil within has taken possession

              Their hollow black eyes

             Shows their decomposition

             Star light, Star bright

             Will I make it home tonight?

            Or will my soul join them

            In this phase, unreal

            Without the real promise of revenge"

I sang in the empty auditorium. It was just the guys in my band and me setting up for the mini-concert at my new school that I, not only start but sponsor, too.

Josh, the lead guitarist in the band looks at me. "That is the creepiest song ever. Why do you always sing it?" He asked.

"Just because I'm going to be staying in this country when you head home and I'm leaving the band after today, you want to know all my secrets?" The whole band nodded as I looked around. "Too, bad. I love being mysterious, it’s a thing I got going on." I looked at Josh. "Or wait, is there a something else? Are you afraid of what the song may hint at or mean?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because it may mean something, she says." Josh's younger brother, the drummer, says in a deep mocking tone.

"Haven't you all noticed that it always does? I mean we all know she's crazy, why question it. The song means something." The bass player replied.

"That my dear friends, it’s true. The song means..." I looked at them with wide eyes. "It means... I'm going to kill you all and then they're going to put me pack in there. I can't go back there." I said traces of mock fear in my voice. They laughed and I shrugged my shoulders. "Okay, fellas." I said when their laughter died. "Are we done?" They nodded. "Awesome, 'cause I heard there was a cafeteria, that contained food I have never had in my life, around the corner." I jumped off the stage and quickly walked to the doors leading out of the auditorium. I ran into the hall, the guys close behind me.

I opened the cafeteria double doors; I quickly searched the room with my eyes, clearly not paying attention to the people. When I located the lunch line, I took off running. I ran smack into something. As I looked up from the floor where I fell on my butt, I realized it was a guy. As my eyes continued to look up, I noticed the muscular build of a guy that played enough sports for the two people in a baby blue polo, and jeans. Soon enough, as my eyes made their way towards his face, I was gazing into the most beautiful liquid silver eyes I have ever seen. Notice how I didn’t even focus on his face! How does one describe eyes so beautiful? Whoa there Shakespeare, calm yourself.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. The guy stretched out his hand, I, who doesn’t believe in chivalry, ignored his hand and got up on my own. "Look, I am so sorry. Would you believe me, if I said that I don’t normally run into people?" I didn’t look up at his face, too afraid of what would happen if I did, so I stared at his chest instead. It wasn’t like I was looking down, I was just looking straight, and he’s a full head taller than me.

"No, I wouldn’t believe you and it’s alright. No harm, no foul." His voice was deep, and a tad but husky with a clear Irish accent.

"Normally my ego would be hurt by the assumption that this isn’t the first time I bumped into someone but your accent is totally distracting me. Bye." I walked past him and never looked his way. I heard him chuckle darkly behind me but I refused to look back at him, making my way to the lunch line. Then I started singing in a low voice, "Star light, Star bright, please don’t…"

************************************

We started with a cover of Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want To Be".

"I don't need to be anything other

Than a prison gaurd's son

I don't need to be anything other

Than a specialist's son

I don't have to be anyone other

Than the birth of two souls in one

Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from..."

This song means so much to me. The way the lyrics explain how we try to fit in and how we shouldn't. How the worlds full of liars and imposters, it even in a way explains how we should just be us. This is the song that had me writing my own songs, and singing. It's also the reason I started watching One Tree Hill.

We played some of our songs and put in a few other covers, by other artist. It's the last gig we have togather as a band, since they leave tonight. So we jammed, to our favorites and acted like no one else was there. I even played a few instruments, which I haven't done in like forever. We spent like three hours in that auditorium, playing our hearts out. Now we have about six minutes  before everyone leaves. So I finally adressed the crowd. "It's time for one last song. So I hope you like Ed Sheeren's 'Give Me Love'."

"Give me love like her,

'cause lately I've been waking up alone,

Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,

Told you I'd let them go,

And that I'll fight my corner,

Maybe tonight I'll call yah,

After my blood turns to alcohol,

No, I just want to hold yah..."

I closed my eyes, feeling the music and singing with so much passion. It's the last song I'll be singing with this band. My pals, friends, freaks, musicians, my first band. Missing them is probably going to be hard. Especailly since I've never felt that emotion, heard about, never went through it. I opened my eyes to see students dancing with either random student of the other gender, or their boyfriends/girlfriends. I smiled a little.

"A man may drink and not be drunk

A man may fight and not be slain

A man may court a pretty girl

And perhaps be welcomed back again

But since it has so ought to be

By a time to rise and by a time to fall

Come fill to me the parting glass

Good night and joy be with you all

Good night and joy be with you all."

When I finished the last line of the song, I looked out to the crowd again. That's when my gaze fell, to a pair of liguid silver eyes and almost gasped. I caught myslef and looked away. I turned to the guys and they bowed, and then I bowed towards the crowd. The headmaster of the school walked up on stage and shook my hand before whispering in my ear, "You sounded just like her."He said with his thick Irish accent. He walked toward the mike while I stood there in shock and confusement. Sounded just like who? Is the headmaster on crack? Did he mean my mother? NO, no way he meant my mother. That would mean I was Irish and that can't be possible, I don't even look Irish. Do I? Oh, god. Can I be anymore confused?

I shook my head and walked off the stage, while the headmaster told the students that the assembly was over. They all left, and not in the single file he wanted. I chuckled before I walked up to the guys.

"So, I guess this is good-bye?" I asked them.

They nodded. "God, we're going to miss your crazy ass. Your creepy songs, your musical talent, english tutoring... It's going to be hell on our grades." Josh said.

I raised my eye brows, and looked at him disbelieving. "That's all you guys used me for? Wow, I'm shocked. I had more uses than that. Oh, well." I turned around. "I'll see you guys. Or I won't. Laters." I walked out the auditorium and towards the main office. Good-byes are so not our thing.

I walked around and came to crashing stop into two people. Can you find this a surprise? I crashed into silvered eyed dude and a girl that is prabably his girlfriend. "God, do you watch where you're going?" I looked up at her, her tone harsh and british.

"Nope." I popped the 'p' alittle peeved. "Never. What would be the fun in that. I mean we Americans love walking around blind. I like mean it's so like fun." I said mimicking some of the dumb peroxide blondes that I've met in L.A, did I mention the chica is a peroxide blonde. I could tell from here. I walked away from her and him, quickly.

"Aren't you at least going to apologize?" She yelled as I walked away.

"I was taught not to say things I didn't mean. So no, I'm not going to apologize." I then stopped walking and turned around, staring into her eyes. "You should use bleach, it works better than peroxide." Her eyes flashed with anger as she gasped cruelly, and I heard the silvered eyed dude chuckle. I turned around and continued to walk to the main office. That's when I hear her scream, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING, DAMON!?" Damn that woman is loud. That didn't stop me from laughing hysterically towards the office.

Wait, so that's his name... Damon, Damon, Damon... I think we are going to