1,000 Men by Xicano Sol (primary phonics .TXT) 📕

As he took a moment to reflect on his life he said he could count at least a thousand men he had sexual relations with throughout the years. He said, “I’m not exaggerating, either… literally there’s been at least 1,000 men”, and you could tell as his mind reviewed the catalog of his memory. From hook-ups and casual encounters, to group sex and relationships, as the years passed the numbers just kept getting higher.

I asked, “What do you think you were looking for?” and he simply responded, “Validation.” He wanted to feel attractive and desired yet each conquest only led to the next. There were always periods of anxiety during times when he pondered what the consequences would be to his actions. But when the results came back negative, it seemed to simply fuel the desire to be out there again anxiously awaiting the next man in his life.

After a thousand men I simply inquired if he had ever found the validation that he was looking for… and he quickly responded, “No, I’m still looking for it”. For the first time he felt clarity regarding a search that had consumed so much of his life. It was a sober reality check that when we seek from others what we can only give ourselves, we set ourselves up for an insatiable quest that has no end.

Publication Date: 11-22-2011

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