Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

"Are you free tonight?" Viktoria asked straightforwardly. No beating around the bush. "We could grab dinner, and you know...hang out. I know the best restaurants here in Venice."

"I would have loved to, but I actually have plans tonight with my friends."

That was a fat lie. I didn't have many friends here other than Hansen and another male model I had worked with who was also a newbie in the fashion industry.

She smiled, a fake smile that saw right through my lie and was probably wondering why I had turned her down.

"Well, darling, if you change your mind, my number is on your cup." She pecked my cheek noisily, stood up to leave. "Bye."

Well, why exactly had I turned her down?

Viktoria was attractive enough for any man to want her, and someone would be foolish to do what I had done, given the fact that I had been single for the past two years after my break up with Alana. So, why not take a chance at warming my bed when I had one? But, it was instinct.

During the shoot, Viktoria who was almost naked was practically grinding against me to get the right picture and god knows how much time we had spent getting it all right, but not once had I felt the burning urge that I needed to fuck her.

Nothing was wrong with me. She just wasn't the one I wanted.

Any woman that wasn't making me hard, wasn't worth my time, but I knew who fit the bill. I knew exactly who I wanted to have all of me. It wasn't Viktoria, and definitely wasn't anyone else.

Just one girl. Alana.

Thinking about her just made me want to get a cold shower.

I know it was foolish that I was still hung up on her even though I was the one to put an end to things, but there was still a bit of a hope left in me. That maybe she still had some feelings for me.

I walked towards the window and watched as Viktoria climbed a sedan Audi. I rolled my coffee cup sideways and sure enough there was a little message written in black ink.

Vik 392xxxx.

Without a second thought, the empty cup went inside the dumpster across the room in one single shot.

***

"That wasn't a cool move, Rowie." Hansen said over our little dinner date at a famous seafood restaurant in Venice. Tagging along with him was such a bad idea, I realized that after we ordered our food. I couldn't walk out now. I had a travel to Tuscany the morning by road for another major shoot for a local fashion magazine cover.

I was digging into the Italian seafood risotto, ignoring Hansen's sting eye. He continued, "All Viktoria asked for was a good time. If you had agreed with her, god knows where you could be in the next few months. You could have been the next David Gandy, what the fuck were you thinking? She has connections that I don't."

"Do I want to be a successful model? Maybe, yeah. Do I want to be Viktoria's fuck boy? No, thank you." I sipped the white wine. It tasted so good. If Sofia knew I was drinking some wine, she would probably blow a gasket. I was still off limits to any type of alcohol.

"You just blew a major opportunity at becoming famous in a matter of months." He still wasn't touching his bowl of creamy, cheesy pasta that was garnished with bits of shrimp and calamari.

"I don't want to be famous by sleeping with her, alright? When I came into this industry which by the way was your idea, I came with some ideals. I won't do things that I'm uncomfortable with."

Hansen barked a laugher. "Oh, I get it. You want to throw it all away for that girl again. What is this, some kind of a Disney movie? What do you think, that you gonna climb that little tower and your little princess gonna wait for that kiss to wake her up? Fuck no. If love stories were all inspired by Disney, wouldn't everyone get a happy ending?"

"Are you gonna eat this?" I picked up his bowl of untouched pasta.

"No." He scowled at me, while I pulled the pasta to my side of the table and began wolfing down a large bite. I realized Hansen wasn't in a mood to eat, he just wanted to feed me a good lecture. As soon as the pasta hit my mouth, I suppressed a moan as the gooey texture of cheese along with the crunchiness of the shrimp melted in my mouth.

"What are you? Alana's loyal doggie? She forced you to give up your teaching career and you were so invested in that relationship that you almost killed yourself, and now you want to throw your modeling career. Do you recall what she did to you, I still remember the way you looked like when you walked into that rehabilitation like a frickin prune living off dope."

"That last line, is that supposed to make me feel insulted?" I chuckled. "Because, you gotta try harder man."

"Give me that here." He snatched his now almost empty bowl of pasta. "What do you think you're doing? This thing has tons of calories. It isn't good for your body."

Hansen was going to burst a nerve. He began swirling his fork in the pasta. "You're going to walk into your town next time and find her in someone else's arms. And when that happens, you're gonna tell me how right I was and what a bad idea it was to pass up an opportunity like Viktoria Antonova."

I threw the fork on my plate in frustration that landed with a loud clank and I kicked the nearest chair which toppled on the ground with a thud. The patrons around began staring. I didn't care that I was putting up a show.

It's the Rowan Masters Freak Show guys, Free tickets!

Hansen needed to understand that he had crossed a line. He hadn't even flinched, we were a piece cut out from the same cloth.

"I thought I gave you enough chances to SHUT THE FUCK UP! I don't care what you say to me, but you talk bullshit about Alana like that again, and I swear to god that I might have to forget that we are even friends. I will walk out of this contract and you can forget this deal we had."