Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

"At least someone won't think of me as a kid anymore."

He chose to ignore my remark as he asked, "So, do you have any other plans? How about coffee with us?"

"Well..." I began. It was a Friday evening, that meant I had no possible excuses to bail on him.

"Plwease Alana, Plweaseeeeee." Minnie insisted.

I sighed. The child mattered to me. She was so innocent, staring at me with those cute pleading eyes, I gave in. "Fine."

"Okay, why don't you girls go fetch a seat and I'll order for coffee." Rowan said, "Chocolate donut for Minnie and Mocha and whipped cream for Alana, right?"

I smiled. "Of course."

Minnie and I found a booth that was just emptied by a group of girls. A few minutes later, Rowan returned with our order and slipped into the seat opposite mine. He sat next to Minnie.

I took a sip of the coffee and when I sneaked a glance towards Rowan, I noticed his eyes were trailed on me. He wasn't looking away, unabashed. And it kind of messed with my heart when he was looking at me like he wanted to do things to me.

I coughed to distract him. "So, when did you come back from Denmark?"

"I was discharged from the rehab six months back." He explained. "And then I was just traveling around Europe for my photoshoots. Karl's idea."

"Alana, Daddy is a model." Minnie said, excitement glimmering in her eyes and what was obvious was her admiration for her father. "In school, Katy showed me a magjinee, and Daddy was on the page. Daddy is so handsome, right, Alana?"

"Of course sweetie, your daddy is very handsome." I said.

"He is the best Daddy in the world." Minnie went on, clinging onto her father's arm lovingly.

"Yes, darling, he is." My cheeks turned as red as a tomato.

"Okay, sweetheart, you're embarrassing me now." Rowan said to Minnie as he tickled her and she began giggling uncontrollably.

"But, Alana is the most beautiful girl, too."  Minnie said between giggles. "I like Alana."

"Isn't that right?" Rowan asked her. "Well, can't disagree with that one."

"Alana and Daddy should marry."

That's it. Dwight had warned me before about Minnie having such thoughts, and I was flattered, who was I kidding, I was beyond flattered, but having thrown into this situation when I was sitting right under Rowan's hawk eyes was something I had never expected.

Rowan had the same dimple kissed smile on his face.

"Daddy, look, that's Blake." Minnie suddenly pointed at some kid standing by the counter, and waved both arms at him. "He is my new best friend. BLAKE! HEY BLAKE!"

"Sweetheart, it's rude to point at someone like that..." Rowan began telling her, but Minnie wasn't even listening to her father as she scurried over to join her classmate.

Just great!

It was getting even more awkward now that we were both alone in the booth. I swirled the straw in the coffee and took a sip, looking at the patterns of the napkin once a while, avoiding eye contact, knowing without a doubt that his eyes were on me.

"Don't mind what Minnie just said..."

"It's okay, Rowan."

Some more awkward staring and silence.

"It's crowded here, huh?" Rowan said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. Weekends are always crowded here." I responded, still not looking at him.

"The weather is getting good too. I like it when it gets a little breezy here." He continued. It looked to me like Rowan was trying very hard to keep the conversation going.

How could he just sit here and say howdy and talk about the weather? Like we'd been nothing more than a student and her ex-professor who did nothing but exchange pleasantries during class. Like we hadn't played tonsil hockey for a year, like I hadn't traveled to another country just to spend time with him, as if he hadn't broken up with me. As far as I remembered, we had exchanged more than that. My heart was still with this man.

I wanted to ask him more questions. Did you miss me, Rowan? Have you started dating someone else? Do you still love me?

My throat tightened.

"Are you okay, Alana?" Rowan placed his hand over mine. I acted upon impulse, pulling away instinctively.

Tears were clouding my vision. How could Rowan act so normal after everything that he had done. It didn't even seem like he was bothered by the fact that I was sitting with him. The way he was acting, it clearly meant he had moved on, and here I was thinking he still had feelings for me. He had crushed my heart, my soul over a dozen times. Asked for chances and screwed up again.

"I need to go." I said, grabbing for my purse as I slipped out of the booth and navigated my way out of the café.

"Alana, wait." Rowan followed suit.

I bolted out of the door and walked into the cool air, and that's when Rowan's arm seized my wrist, pulling me hard against him. His arm snaked around my waist as he held me close, so close that there wasn't any space left between us. I could smell his familiar intoxicating scent of cologne. I breathed in, it felt so good. Rowan buried his face in my hair. Despite everything that he had put me through, I couldn't control myself when he was touching me like that. His fingers just shy of my top, almost touching my skin.

My damaged boy. I loved him too much to let go. I could try to move on, but I knew no matter how hard I tried to forget him, I would never be able to.

****

Rowan

God! Alana felt so fucking good in my arms. She was so perfect. She fit into my arms like a missing puzzle. Instinctively, I buried my face in her hair. She sank her face into my chest as she went up on her heels, her arms wrapping around my back possessively, like she wanted to tell me that I was hers only. I wanted to forget that the world around even existed.