PENALTY by Annika Sturm (best contemporary novels TXT) π
Excerpt from the book:
This is the story of two boys, two friends, two professional footballers. One day they discover they have feelings for each other that go beyond just friendship. Suddenly the boys find themselves having to make difficult decisions with life changing consequences. Together they embark on a tough journey against prejudice and discrimination. Can their affection for each other survive in the world of football?
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of geographic facts and references of football teams and tournaments, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of geographic facts and references of football teams and tournaments, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
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- Author: Annika Sturm
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back to the car. 'I'm starving now,' Tom laughed as they got underway again, 'that was awesome fun!'
Alex drove them to a remote countryside restaurant for lunch. 'Your new local?' Tom winked at him once they had sat down in a private area and ordered. Alex tutted. 'No. Special occasions.' He muttered. 'Oh,' Tom raised his eyebrows and looked impressed, 'I feel honoured,' he grinned, 'what's the occasion?' 'You, you idiot,' Alex whispered and laughed, 'and the fact that I still have you.' He added more seriously and gulped. Tom stroked his knee under the table.
The waiters arrived with their food and a couple of beers. 'The last few days have been tough, hmm?' Tom said pensively. Alex nodded and hesitated. He looked at him. 'Tommy, will you still break up with Christine?' He asked anxiously. Tom smiled at him. 'Yes I think it's what I need to do.' Alex shook his head. 'It'll be all over the press Tommy.' 'That will go away,' Tom paused, 'I've got to be honest with her. She thinks I'll marry her and have kids with her one day. But I know I won't. I'm ruining her life if I don't face up to it.' He gently touched Alexβs knee under the table. 'Will you tell her why?' Alex asked and gulped. 'I don't know yet,' Tom hesitated, 'I think I'll have to tell her that I'm gay. Yes.' He said quietly and Alex squeezed his hand under the table.' 'God, Tommy,' Alex shook his head, 'what if she tells the press? It'll be hell on earth for you.' Tom smiled at him again. 'I would have hoped she has enough sense not to do that,' he nudged him, 'hey, don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine,' he laughed, 'who knows, perhaps she'll be relieved that we break up,' Alex frowned at him. Tom realised it was a bad joke. He shrugged his shoulders, 'alright it'll be tough for a while. But I think I'll feel better in the long term. And she can get on with her life and find someone who will give her what she deserves.' Alex smiled at him. He admired Tom's courage and wished in a way he didn't have Max to worry about. For him it was a completely different situation. Yet he had decided for himself that he would also consider ending his relationship with Emma. He didn't know when or how but he knew it would only be a question of time.
'Hey?' Tom said quietly and Alex realised he had been lost in thought eating his lunch. 'Hey, sorry.' 'What were you thinking about?' Tom asked and was looking for his hand under the table. Alex grabbed it and squeezed it hard. 'I was just thinking that that is excellent lamb! Don't you agree?' Tom chuckled and shook his head. 'Liar.' He said and winked at him.
After lunch the boys went for a walk in the woods near the restaurant. They wore their caps and sunglasses and managed to avoid big groups of walkers. It was still bitterly cold but the sun was shining and it turned out to be a nice wintery afternoon. The further they walked the more private they felt and there was hardly anyone around. Alex took Tom's hand as they strolled next to each other chatting. When they found a bench, they sat down closely to one another. Tom kissed him gently.
'When will I see you again?' He asked. Alex shook his head. 'Not until mid March.' Tom nodded sadly. 'I would give anything to change those long periods of time when I can only see you on television in the sports highlights!' They both laughed. 'Losing. Again.' Alex added and Tom giggled stroking his cheek. He looked at him. 'You know, I often wish we had got together when I was still in Hamburg,' he said sadly, 'I would have never left.' Alex hugged him and kissed his cheek. 'I know. But maybe you had to leave for us to realise.' 'Like I had to lose you to know that I only want to be with you?' Tom asked. 'Maybe,' Alex kissed him again, 'it's getting dark, we should start heading back.' Tom nodded and held his head. 'I never want to lose you again, do you hear me?' He looked at him intently. Alex smiled and rubbed his nose against Tom's. 'You had never lost me really. You just thought you did,' he paused, 'my word your nose is cold! Come on, let's get back to the car.' Tom laughed as Alex pulled him up and they started strolling back arm in arm, slowly making their way back through the woods.
As they both got back into the car Alex checked his phone and saw that he had three missed calls from Emma. He frowned at his mobile and Tom looked over his shoulder. 'What's up?' He asked him. 'I don't know but Em tried to ring me several times. That's odd.' He started the car and called her mobile number putting her on speaker phone as he was driving. 'Hello honey.' Emma said as she picked up. 'Hey,' Alex said feeling awkward with Tom next to him, 'is everything alright? I had all these missed calls from you?' 'Oh well yes everything is fine it's just that, erm,' she was hesitating and it sounded like she was trying to find a spot where she could talk without being disturbed. Tom and Alex frowned at each other, 'well, Markus is here and he said he needed to talk to you urgently.'
Alex nearly hit the brakes at full speed and Tom held his breath in shock. 'Honey? Can you hear me?' Alex tried to focus on the road. 'Yes, erm, sure. Just driving Tommy to the airport.' He pulled into a path off the main road and turned the engine off. 'He is behaving a bit oddly if you ask me,' Emma continued, 'he won't leave until you turn up,' Alex and Tom looked at each other with fear in their eyes, 'he looks awful as well. Like he's been beaten up or something.' She giggled nervously. The boys looked at each other again. 'What does he want Em?' Alex asked. 'I don't know. He says he can't say.' Alex shook his head. 'I'm on my way,' he said emotionless, 'I'm just dropping Tommy off. I won't be long. Will you be alright?' 'Yes sure. He's playing with Max at the moment.' Alex gasped. 'Keep an eye on him though. Yeah?' Tom put his hand over his mouth as he listened in disbelief. 'Of course,' Emma giggled, 'see you in a bit.' She hung up.
The boys silently sat in the car for a moment and tried to take it all in. Tom was the first to react. He grabbed Alexβs head and kissed him. 'We need to go,' he urged him. Alex took deep breaths, 'Alex, hey, it will be alright,' Tom hugged him tightly, 'let's go though, come on.' Alex looked at him. 'What does he want Tommy?' He asked him in tears of panic. 'I don't know,' Tom stroked his hair full of empathy, 'maybe he just wants to apologise. Let's find out. Come on.' Alex nodded bravely. 'I'll..., I'll drop you off at the airport.' He stammered as he was about to start the car. 'No you won't,' Tom kissed him, 'there is no way I'm leaving now.' Alex looked at him confused. 'But at what time is your flight?' 'Whenever. It doesn't matter,' Alex smiled sadly, 'I'm coming with you. We're in this together,' Tom stroked his cheeks. Alex hugged and kissed him, 'let's go.' Tom said encouragingly and Alex started the car.
The boys didn't speak much on their way to Alexβs house. Tom kept holding his friendβs hand reassuringly. All the feelings of stress and helplessness had come back in an instant. 'He'll tell her,' Alex said suddenly gulping, 'I know he will. He's just waiting for me to be there to see it.' 'Alex,' Tom whispered, 'you don't know that.' Alex laughed bitterly. 'He couldn't leak it to the press, so what's the next best thing?' Tom stroked his hand and tried to calm him down.
They pulled into Alexβs driveway and parked the car. All the lights were on as if the house itself was in panic. Tom was about to jump out when Alex grabbed his hand. He looked at him intently. 'Whatever happens in there now, no matter how this may end, you mean everything to me. Remember that.' He said and gulped down tears as Tom kissed him. 'Okay,' Tom whispered and nodded with fear in his eyes, 'okay.'
The boys ran towards the house and Alex closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Tom was resting his hand on his back and went in behind him. 'We're in the lounge.' Emma shouted down towards them. They looked at each other one more time. 'Ready?' Tom asked him quietly. Alex nodded and they both went upstairs.
Markus was sat on the sofa with Max playing in front of him on the floor and Emma sat opposite him in an armchair. As soon as Max spotted Alex he got up and ran towards him. 'Daddy!' Alex picked him up with a sigh of relief. 'Baby,' he hugged and kissed him, 'I've missed you.' He inhaled his scent and kissed him again. 'Uncle Tommy!' Max cheered as he could see him peeking over Alexβs shoulder. Tom laughed and stroked his cheek with his finger. 'Hello young man.' Max stretched his little arms out towards him and giggled. Alex smiled at Tom and passed him over to his friend.
'There you are,' Emma said laughing, 'I thought you are taking Tommy to the airport first?' Alex nodded. 'Change of plans.' He mumbled. 'Evening boys!' Markus waved at them from the sofa. Alex and Tom stared at him. 'What on earth happened to your hand?', Emma asked in disbelief as she stood up and walked towards them, 'I was wondering about that during the match already,' she shook her head and hugged and kissed Alex before she gave Tom a kiss on the cheek, 'hello trouble.' She smiled. 'Hi.' Tom nodded but quickly cast his eyes down and held Max closer. Alex turned to Markus. 'Why are you here?' He said in a cold tone of voice. 'Darling, that isn't very nice,' Emma interrupted, 'how about 'how are you'?', she laughed, 'I'll get us some wine.' She went into the kitchen.
'What the hell are you doing here?' Alex spat through his teeth as quietly as possible. Markus smiled. 'We hadn't quite finished our conversation the other day.' 'Watch it. I have no problem punching you in the face again. And not just once this time.' He hissed angrily. Tom gently stroked his back trying to calm him down. 'Markus please,' Tom said quietly and kissed Max's cheek,' 'please don't do this.' He begged him.
Emma walked back into the lounge with a bottle of wine and four glasses but hesitated. 'Did you boys have an argument or something? You are all behaving really oddly!' She opened the bottle and poured the wine. 'I don't want anything thanks,' Alex said as gently as possible, 'and I'm sure Markus wants to leave us very soon.' He gave him a threatening look. Emma started looking concerned. 'Alex, you are being rude. What is going on?', she walked over to Tom and gently took Max on her arm. She looked at the boys expectantly, 'so?'
'Why don't you sit down and we have a glass of wine and a chat?' Markus said and smiled wryly. Alex was full of anger. Tom jumped in and decided to play the game. 'Yeah, why the hell not,' he walked towards the sofas and sat down opposite Markus. He took one of the glasses and gave Alex a
Alex drove them to a remote countryside restaurant for lunch. 'Your new local?' Tom winked at him once they had sat down in a private area and ordered. Alex tutted. 'No. Special occasions.' He muttered. 'Oh,' Tom raised his eyebrows and looked impressed, 'I feel honoured,' he grinned, 'what's the occasion?' 'You, you idiot,' Alex whispered and laughed, 'and the fact that I still have you.' He added more seriously and gulped. Tom stroked his knee under the table.
The waiters arrived with their food and a couple of beers. 'The last few days have been tough, hmm?' Tom said pensively. Alex nodded and hesitated. He looked at him. 'Tommy, will you still break up with Christine?' He asked anxiously. Tom smiled at him. 'Yes I think it's what I need to do.' Alex shook his head. 'It'll be all over the press Tommy.' 'That will go away,' Tom paused, 'I've got to be honest with her. She thinks I'll marry her and have kids with her one day. But I know I won't. I'm ruining her life if I don't face up to it.' He gently touched Alexβs knee under the table. 'Will you tell her why?' Alex asked and gulped. 'I don't know yet,' Tom hesitated, 'I think I'll have to tell her that I'm gay. Yes.' He said quietly and Alex squeezed his hand under the table.' 'God, Tommy,' Alex shook his head, 'what if she tells the press? It'll be hell on earth for you.' Tom smiled at him again. 'I would have hoped she has enough sense not to do that,' he nudged him, 'hey, don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine,' he laughed, 'who knows, perhaps she'll be relieved that we break up,' Alex frowned at him. Tom realised it was a bad joke. He shrugged his shoulders, 'alright it'll be tough for a while. But I think I'll feel better in the long term. And she can get on with her life and find someone who will give her what she deserves.' Alex smiled at him. He admired Tom's courage and wished in a way he didn't have Max to worry about. For him it was a completely different situation. Yet he had decided for himself that he would also consider ending his relationship with Emma. He didn't know when or how but he knew it would only be a question of time.
'Hey?' Tom said quietly and Alex realised he had been lost in thought eating his lunch. 'Hey, sorry.' 'What were you thinking about?' Tom asked and was looking for his hand under the table. Alex grabbed it and squeezed it hard. 'I was just thinking that that is excellent lamb! Don't you agree?' Tom chuckled and shook his head. 'Liar.' He said and winked at him.
After lunch the boys went for a walk in the woods near the restaurant. They wore their caps and sunglasses and managed to avoid big groups of walkers. It was still bitterly cold but the sun was shining and it turned out to be a nice wintery afternoon. The further they walked the more private they felt and there was hardly anyone around. Alex took Tom's hand as they strolled next to each other chatting. When they found a bench, they sat down closely to one another. Tom kissed him gently.
'When will I see you again?' He asked. Alex shook his head. 'Not until mid March.' Tom nodded sadly. 'I would give anything to change those long periods of time when I can only see you on television in the sports highlights!' They both laughed. 'Losing. Again.' Alex added and Tom giggled stroking his cheek. He looked at him. 'You know, I often wish we had got together when I was still in Hamburg,' he said sadly, 'I would have never left.' Alex hugged him and kissed his cheek. 'I know. But maybe you had to leave for us to realise.' 'Like I had to lose you to know that I only want to be with you?' Tom asked. 'Maybe,' Alex kissed him again, 'it's getting dark, we should start heading back.' Tom nodded and held his head. 'I never want to lose you again, do you hear me?' He looked at him intently. Alex smiled and rubbed his nose against Tom's. 'You had never lost me really. You just thought you did,' he paused, 'my word your nose is cold! Come on, let's get back to the car.' Tom laughed as Alex pulled him up and they started strolling back arm in arm, slowly making their way back through the woods.
As they both got back into the car Alex checked his phone and saw that he had three missed calls from Emma. He frowned at his mobile and Tom looked over his shoulder. 'What's up?' He asked him. 'I don't know but Em tried to ring me several times. That's odd.' He started the car and called her mobile number putting her on speaker phone as he was driving. 'Hello honey.' Emma said as she picked up. 'Hey,' Alex said feeling awkward with Tom next to him, 'is everything alright? I had all these missed calls from you?' 'Oh well yes everything is fine it's just that, erm,' she was hesitating and it sounded like she was trying to find a spot where she could talk without being disturbed. Tom and Alex frowned at each other, 'well, Markus is here and he said he needed to talk to you urgently.'
Alex nearly hit the brakes at full speed and Tom held his breath in shock. 'Honey? Can you hear me?' Alex tried to focus on the road. 'Yes, erm, sure. Just driving Tommy to the airport.' He pulled into a path off the main road and turned the engine off. 'He is behaving a bit oddly if you ask me,' Emma continued, 'he won't leave until you turn up,' Alex and Tom looked at each other with fear in their eyes, 'he looks awful as well. Like he's been beaten up or something.' She giggled nervously. The boys looked at each other again. 'What does he want Em?' Alex asked. 'I don't know. He says he can't say.' Alex shook his head. 'I'm on my way,' he said emotionless, 'I'm just dropping Tommy off. I won't be long. Will you be alright?' 'Yes sure. He's playing with Max at the moment.' Alex gasped. 'Keep an eye on him though. Yeah?' Tom put his hand over his mouth as he listened in disbelief. 'Of course,' Emma giggled, 'see you in a bit.' She hung up.
The boys silently sat in the car for a moment and tried to take it all in. Tom was the first to react. He grabbed Alexβs head and kissed him. 'We need to go,' he urged him. Alex took deep breaths, 'Alex, hey, it will be alright,' Tom hugged him tightly, 'let's go though, come on.' Alex looked at him. 'What does he want Tommy?' He asked him in tears of panic. 'I don't know,' Tom stroked his hair full of empathy, 'maybe he just wants to apologise. Let's find out. Come on.' Alex nodded bravely. 'I'll..., I'll drop you off at the airport.' He stammered as he was about to start the car. 'No you won't,' Tom kissed him, 'there is no way I'm leaving now.' Alex looked at him confused. 'But at what time is your flight?' 'Whenever. It doesn't matter,' Alex smiled sadly, 'I'm coming with you. We're in this together,' Tom stroked his cheeks. Alex hugged and kissed him, 'let's go.' Tom said encouragingly and Alex started the car.
The boys didn't speak much on their way to Alexβs house. Tom kept holding his friendβs hand reassuringly. All the feelings of stress and helplessness had come back in an instant. 'He'll tell her,' Alex said suddenly gulping, 'I know he will. He's just waiting for me to be there to see it.' 'Alex,' Tom whispered, 'you don't know that.' Alex laughed bitterly. 'He couldn't leak it to the press, so what's the next best thing?' Tom stroked his hand and tried to calm him down.
They pulled into Alexβs driveway and parked the car. All the lights were on as if the house itself was in panic. Tom was about to jump out when Alex grabbed his hand. He looked at him intently. 'Whatever happens in there now, no matter how this may end, you mean everything to me. Remember that.' He said and gulped down tears as Tom kissed him. 'Okay,' Tom whispered and nodded with fear in his eyes, 'okay.'
The boys ran towards the house and Alex closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Tom was resting his hand on his back and went in behind him. 'We're in the lounge.' Emma shouted down towards them. They looked at each other one more time. 'Ready?' Tom asked him quietly. Alex nodded and they both went upstairs.
Markus was sat on the sofa with Max playing in front of him on the floor and Emma sat opposite him in an armchair. As soon as Max spotted Alex he got up and ran towards him. 'Daddy!' Alex picked him up with a sigh of relief. 'Baby,' he hugged and kissed him, 'I've missed you.' He inhaled his scent and kissed him again. 'Uncle Tommy!' Max cheered as he could see him peeking over Alexβs shoulder. Tom laughed and stroked his cheek with his finger. 'Hello young man.' Max stretched his little arms out towards him and giggled. Alex smiled at Tom and passed him over to his friend.
'There you are,' Emma said laughing, 'I thought you are taking Tommy to the airport first?' Alex nodded. 'Change of plans.' He mumbled. 'Evening boys!' Markus waved at them from the sofa. Alex and Tom stared at him. 'What on earth happened to your hand?', Emma asked in disbelief as she stood up and walked towards them, 'I was wondering about that during the match already,' she shook her head and hugged and kissed Alex before she gave Tom a kiss on the cheek, 'hello trouble.' She smiled. 'Hi.' Tom nodded but quickly cast his eyes down and held Max closer. Alex turned to Markus. 'Why are you here?' He said in a cold tone of voice. 'Darling, that isn't very nice,' Emma interrupted, 'how about 'how are you'?', she laughed, 'I'll get us some wine.' She went into the kitchen.
'What the hell are you doing here?' Alex spat through his teeth as quietly as possible. Markus smiled. 'We hadn't quite finished our conversation the other day.' 'Watch it. I have no problem punching you in the face again. And not just once this time.' He hissed angrily. Tom gently stroked his back trying to calm him down. 'Markus please,' Tom said quietly and kissed Max's cheek,' 'please don't do this.' He begged him.
Emma walked back into the lounge with a bottle of wine and four glasses but hesitated. 'Did you boys have an argument or something? You are all behaving really oddly!' She opened the bottle and poured the wine. 'I don't want anything thanks,' Alex said as gently as possible, 'and I'm sure Markus wants to leave us very soon.' He gave him a threatening look. Emma started looking concerned. 'Alex, you are being rude. What is going on?', she walked over to Tom and gently took Max on her arm. She looked at the boys expectantly, 'so?'
'Why don't you sit down and we have a glass of wine and a chat?' Markus said and smiled wryly. Alex was full of anger. Tom jumped in and decided to play the game. 'Yeah, why the hell not,' he walked towards the sofas and sat down opposite Markus. He took one of the glasses and gave Alex a
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