Hard Love by Mis Understood (small books to read .txt) 📕

“My best friend at the time invited me to sleep over his house. I always thought he was cute. Blonde hair that covered his blue eyes. But I never told anyone. At night we decided to play truth or dare.” He laughed and again, shook his head.

“Lame, right? Two teenagers playing a group game. Anyways, I dared him to prank call his girlfriend, Kylie. And He dared me to kiss him.” He look at me from his peripheral. Although, he never fully turned his head.

“You still wanna hear the story?” He asked me.

“I’m here to listen. I’m all ears. I may be an asshole but I’m not judging you.” I shrug.

“Go ahead,” I encourage him.

“Anyway, I thought he was joking. I started laughing acting like it was gross. But he said, ‘I’m serious, kiss me.’ He came closer to me. And I can’t explain what I was feeling, I never felt it before but it felt good. And yeah, we kissed. I was thirteen when I truly realized I was gay. I never told anyone. No one, except you. And one other person.”

Now, he fully faces me. I see a different Jason. Not in a bad way. Just then I realize, when I would call him and I’d hear male voices in the background. I found it weird because all the boys were in my house. He’d say it was just a friend or some type of excuse. I believed him. And the girls? I don’t know.

“And the girls?” I had to know.

“Never fucked them. But it sometimes it kinda easy to imagine a guy sucking you off while she is.” he shrugged, he looked a little embarrassed. “The rumors, the endless nights I give these girls, and how many times I’ve made them come are lies. Popularity has it’s perks.”

It does. I wanna question about Jazielly. How was he able to do that to her. If he wasn’t attractive to girls, how could he have gone so far? Just thinking about it gets my blood heated. It didn’t look like he was gonna stop.

“It looks like you’re angry.”

“How about Jazielly? It looked like you were on a mission.” I say without even thinking about it. It was a wrong move because now it looks like I give a fuck about her. Then, I feel like a fucking wimp because I do care about Jazielly. And I have to hide my feeling because of this stupid school and my dad.

“Fuck man, you don’t know what it’s like to be gay. Especially when you’re hiding. It sucks. You have to push all your feelings aside and not give a fuck. If you do, you slip.” He looks tormented. One more time, he shakes his head furiously. “I’m so glad you stopped when you did. Cus I would’ve slipped.”

I am mad about this. Angry, annoyed displeased. But I can’t say I don’t know what he’s going through. It would be inaccurate of me not to understand. Even though we’re going through different circumstances, we do the shit we do for the same reason. We hide because of our parents. I know I do. Melanie does, too. And now I know that Jason does too.

Matthew has his reasons as well. But not what you think.

“Who do you think it was?” I ask Jason.

“I think it was Stacey.”

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I don’t recall Stacey being at the party last week. I don’t know because I only had one person in mind. I only remember Jazielly. And if I did see Stacey, I don’t remember.

Jason made me swear that I won’t tell anyone after he told me who he suspected it was that took a picture of him. He told me he didn’t know what to do about the picture. It’s been a week since that party and nothing negative about Jason was on social media.

If Stacey had the photo. Then, she was waiting for the perfect moment to out him. But in my gut, I know it wasn’t Stacey. In my gut, in my bones, and in my heart, I knew it was someone else. And I’m sure it someone close to me.

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It’s nine pm and I’ve been staring at my phone for the past twenty minutes. I wanted to text her. I just wanted to hear her voice, just like Jason said it was a weakness with the guy he was caught with. Jazielly was my weakness. I wanted to give up everything for her. I wanted to erase the past and not give a fuck about what people thought about me. I wish I can go back to the time where I first spoke to her and she rewarded me with a sweet, timid smile. I yearn to back to the time to when she used to look at me with admiration. When her cheeks would turn red looking at me. I demolished all that because of my fear. Now, I just don’t know what she’s planning. Even with the fact that the future is unknown, it might turn all to shit. I just need this chance with her.

And that’s why I text her.

Me: Hey.

A see the three dots bouncing around immediately.

Her: Hey, what’s up? (:

I smile I didn’t think I’d get an instant reply.

Me: Not much. I was wondering what you were up to.

Her: Watching Hulu. I should be doing homework.

Me: Oh. You want company?

I delete that.

Me: Oh, sounds lit.

This conversation is not what I was hoping for. I wanted to text her all night.

Her: Yeah, watching ‘Power’.

Power? Who knew she’s be into such a show. It was explicit. It has everything such as sex, violence, love. About a guy living a double life. Has a lot of goals but things are holding him back.

Me: That show is *perfect sign emoji*

Her: *Fire Emoji* Yeah. Wanna come watch it with me?

I jump straight off my bed and slip my black Timberlands on.

Me: At your house?

Her: Yes. But you have to sneak in.

That’s no problem at all.

Me: Be there in ten.

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I make it there in seven minutes. I don’t believe it’s her house. It’s bigger than I imagined. It was mostly glass but you couldn’t see inside. The roof was flat and the walls that weren’t glass were steel. Her house was amazing and so modern. I text that I’m at the door. She opens the garage door. She Looks gorgeous in her pajamas and her slippers. Her hair was in a.

When I go in the garage. I see three cars, A BMW, a Camaro and a Escalade. And there is space at least to more cars. She nods at me to follow her. We walk upstairs. It’s dark. I see picture frames on the wall but barely. I recognize that we’re in the living room. We walk across it, my knee on a table and knock something on the floor. It crash.

Jaz looks at my like she wants to murder me four times in a row. A door opens upstairs.

“Jaz is that you?” A female voice says.

“Yes! Just getting a drink. Y’know me, getting thirst and all.” She chuckles. It’s cute as fuck.

“Okay goodnight sweetie.” The door closes.

She tells me to wait with a finger she walks hallway up the stairs. Once the coast is clear, she ushers me with her hand and tells me to be quiet with a finger o the lip. Ever so quietly we make it to her room. And she lockers her door.

Her room is organized just like her. Her bed is a bit messy and has a bit of food lying there. Carrots, ranch, doritos and Ginger ale. A couple of books are open as well.

“What season are you on?” Jazielly whispers. As she sits on her bed.

“Season 3, you?” I stand. Not knowing what to do.

“Same, episode two.” She pushes over in the middle of the bed. She makes room for me, I assume. Because she moves the books to the floor. I take off my boots, with my back against the headboard and my feet straight.

I eat some carrots and ranch. I watch some of the show. But really, my mind is ocus on her. She rips the doritos in half and shoves it in her mouth. She so intent on the show she doesn’t even realize that I been staring at her. When she finishes she lays down.

“Ugh, I hate Angela,” She wrinkles her nose.

“Me too. Tasha holds it down for him.” I look at her.

“I know and Tommy is a dummy man. I can’t help loving him though. He’s loyal.”

“That’s true.” I nod.

I wanna lay down close to her.  Put my arm around her waist and hold her.

“You know you can lay down I don’t bite.” She says after the episode is done.

“I know, I just didn’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable.” I lay down and give her a respectable amount of space. Any other girl,  would seduced her and try to get in her pants. But this ain’t any girl. She Jaz, the girl that melts down my walls with one look.

We stay quiet for the rest of the night.

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I feel something on me. It’s warm. My room is never warm. I always have the AC on blast. It’s still nighttime. I look to see if I see a clock somewhere. I do, on the nightstand. It says 3:03am. I look and see that Jaz’s head is on my shoulder, her leg is crossed with my legs and her arm is across my stomach. I don’t know if she’d want me to spend the night. So i gently push her off, she stirs and her eyes open.

“Where are you going?” Her sleepy voice asks.

“I thought you wouldn’t want me to stay.” I tell her.

“No, stay.”

“Are you sure?” I look at her face for any sign of insurance. But there’s none.

She nods and I lay back down and hold out that way she can lay on my chest. She sees the drool she left  on my shirt. And she look embarrassed.

“I drool in my sleep, don’t judge me.” She scrunches her eyebrows.

“It’s okay, I think its cute.”

“Cute?”

“Yes, Cute.” I nod.

She lays on my chest and looks at me. She smiles.

And that’s when I think that this is the best I have felt in a long time.

Chapter Sixteen: Premeditated Plan

“Am I changing right before your eyes? Becoming someone you don't recognize. As if I was disguised, I'm on that shit as if I was the Fly.I'm touchin' skies, no puffin' lie… Where I'm from, if you ever seen what I seen
You know it can't get no better for me.” - J. Cole

Jazielly's POV

Two weeks have passed since Jason’s afterparty. The photo is still on my phone. I have no idea what I am gonna do about it. It burns in my pocket. I didn’t really think this through. But I have time. Although it’s running out.
A week had passed since David slept over my house. In the morning, he left through the back and I got ready for school. In school, we share knowing looks and secret smiles. We’ve been texting, I know this is the plan. Making him fall for me. I know it’s working. When we’re in English he looks at me like I