Eric by Jody Kaye (uplifting novels .TXT) 📕

I bury my face into Ginny’s hair. We’re unwashed, wearing the same ragged clothes we had on during the long rainy afternoon in the dirty parking lot. Still, our bed smells of her shampoo and the fresh powder scent infused in everything of Corey’s.

Laying down at night, this is a whiff of home, of safety, security, and everything that keeps my world spinning on its axis. What Ginny is suggesting is akin to febreezing their existence. The cloying stench of chemical gardenias and fake vanilla makes my throat close up tight. I’d truly begun thinking we could manage being the best parents to Corey.

I understand how much Ginny worries about being a good mother. I hadn’t needed to know from the guy whose wallet she’d returned that Ginny was a good person. It’s the reason I fell in love with her twice in the past few years. Okay, make it three times. I couldn’t help but fall in love with Ginny again in December when Corey came into the world.

Looking back on the day my son was born, I never realized anything would hurt as much as watching Ginny giving birth. I’d been helpless to make her pain go away. Today was a thousand-fold worse. The uncertainty over whether or not the baby was okay this afternoon was the most horrible part of losing Corey.

Ginny’s asking us to sacrifice our relationship for the sake of the baby, but I’d vowed in the parking lot if my boy came back I’d do everything in my power to keep my family safe. It’s selfish, but there’s no way I’ll give either of them up knowing there’s a chance they’ll be hurt and I won’t be the one protecting them.

“I can’t live without either of you. I’d die tryin’.”

“You didn’t deserve this. I can never make up for what I did.”

A lone tear trails down, landing on the baby’s terry cloth pajamas. I hold her tighter.

“I know your heart, Gin. Simply watching you try is enough for me. I don’t want anyone else to be our baby’s momma. I can’t bear to consider coming home without you being here.  I don’t want to miss a single day of Corey growing up. Not after today. At some point, he’ll leave us of his own accord. I need to know we’re the ones who made him the person he’ll become and that he’s happy and healthy. I want my boy to see me still loving you so someday he’ll love a girl as much and know they can get through anything together. When they are old and gray and their babies leave, I want Corey to have someone just like you to rely on and keep loving.”

I want nothing more than what my parents have always had.

I shudder to think about what Gin must’ve lived through growing up in a house with Alan and the things she hadn’t revealed he was capable of. While it may not justify her transgressions, it makes them make sense.

“Reliable and lovable are the last words to describe who I am.” Gin judges herself.

“No, Sugar, those words are a perfect description of who you are. You are the only person who has kept me going since my brothers and sisters left. The only one to love me through it, and the sole focus keeping me sane today when our world came crashing down on us. I won’t throw us away.”

“How can you still love me after all the things I’ve done wrong?”

“Because everything you do right outweighs them.”

“I’m so sorry, Eric.”

“I know. Sleep now, Sugar, tomorrow is for us. No work. No leaving the apartment. You, me, and Corey. That’s it. We will figure the rest out later.”

Her breathing relaxes and I take my son from her arms, finding I can’t put the baby in his crib the way I planned. I need to feel Corey’s solid form against my chest to remind me he’s real, and home.

I prop my back against the pillows and spread Corey’s blanket over the two of them. Ginny rolls over, placing her left hand on top of Corey. I moved the diamond in her engagement ring so it stands upright.

At sixteen, I hadn’t known the first thing about loving Ginny. At seventeen, making love to her was intimidating. When we were eighteen, I was clueless about how I’d manage as a parent. Now, at nineteen, I’ve done all those things with the one person I was meant to spend my life with.

I rest my eyes, remaining vigilant and awake the rest of the night, grateful for the warmth surrounding me. I ponder where I’ve come from. Nothing has gone according to plan. Yet, this life is everything to me and the sense of loss, believing it could be over in the blink of an eye, was more than I’d ever considered possible. Being without Ginny or Corey isn’t anything I’m willing to endure.

Maybe we hadn’t needed a plan? Perhaps the sense of security I needed was as simple as remaining pointed in the right direction? Other than a split second of chance today, the path toward spending our lives together and raising a family has never wavered. Somehow, though, waiting any longer to get married doesn’t make sense. Gin agreed to be my forever and I’ve decided forever starts now.