Was It Right to Forgive? by Amelia Edith Huddleston Barr (classic book list txt) 📕

moral progress and in spiritual renewal."

"I will try and do my whole duty in the future. I will, sir!"

"Duty! that is the great law. But it must be an ever-present consciousness. It must lie close to all your thoughts. It must haunt your very being. And I can tell you, Harry, that your sensual nature will shrink from such company. But be not discouraged, for when duty has become an habitual law, then obedience to it will be a choice and a delight."

"Will you say a word to Yanna for me, sir."

"I will walk with you to the door. That will be sufficient. Speak for yourself; you speak to a tender heart."

So they walked together through the garden, Peter delaying a little at the various beds of spring blossoms, for he wished Adriana to see that he had quite forgiven Harry's offence, and taken him into favor again. And such forgivenesses are better thus understood; nothing is gained by discussing faults which are admitted, and for which there is no apology but the pitiful one of an unconquerable temptation. Peter's talk was of the flowers, and of the fine spring weather, but Harry was hardly conscious of what he said; for he felt that his future had been brought to the fine turning-point of a single word. Would Yanna speak it?

Peter led him into the parlor and called Yanna. Then he said something about the strawberry beds and left the lover to plead his own cause. There was a few minutes' delay, which Harry employed in walking about the room; then the door opened, and was softly closed, and Yanna stood in his presence, pale as a lily, but lovelier in his sight than she had ever before been.

He held out his hands to her. His eager face was a prayer. And though she stood very still, her heart was stirring and throbbing and sweetly urging: "Forgive him! Forgive him!" Then her eyes filled with a soft, blue light; and a smile that you might have felt in the dark spread like sunshine over her white face--and her hand clasped his hands--she was within his arms--something wonderful and instantaneous took place--everything was confessed in a look, and forgiven in a kiss, and love was satisfied without a word.

And the bliss and the strength of the next two hours convinced Harry that he could no longer bear to be separated from a woman so near to his best self, and so necessary to it. He prayed Yanna to marry him at once, that day--well then, that week--or, if not, then certainly that month--when Miss Alida came back to Woodsome, and not a day later. And just how it happened neither knew, but when Harry went back to New York it was with Yanna's promise to make their wedding day at a very early date.

On the journey he naturally thought of his mother, and he resolved to face her anger at once. "The day has been fortunate; I will take all it can give me," he said. And so, as soon as he reached his home, he inquired for Mrs. Filmer. She had been making calls all the afternoon, and the woman who can return from that social duty in a state of serenity has not yet been evolved from nineteenth century conditions. Mrs. Filmer was not only tired, she was cross. "I feel as if I had been turned into a pincushion," she said. "All the afternoon the wind blew the dust into my face, and the women pricked me in every place they thought a pin-point could hurt. They have condoled with me about Rose's marriage until I could scarcely keep the tears in my heart, and congratulated me on it until my face burned like a flame. I never before knew that words could be stillettos. But if you had only been with me, Harry, it would have been different. Where have you been all day? I called on Miss Van Hoosen, and she had not seen you."

"I have been to Woodsome."

"It was unnecessary. Your father was there two days ago. All is ready for us."

"I went to see Yanna. I want to induce Yanna to marry me very soon--in fact, this month."

"I must be going crazy. Another marriage this month! Another marriage into that Van Hoosen family! I will not hear of such a thing! I will not listen to you! It is outrageous!"

"I feel that Yanna is necessary to my best interests. She keeps me right. I am ashamed to say that I fell under the Z----'s spell again last Thursday. I lost money, too, after the opera, at cards; I lost far more than money--I lost my veracity, my honor, and my self-respect. Yanna only can keep me out of temptation."

"It seems even she fails."

"You ought to be glad, mother, that Yanna is willing to marry me, and help me to do what is right."

"I am profoundly sorry and angry. Pray, where are you going to live? That woman shall not enter any house of which I am the mistress. I will have nothing to do with her--nor with you either."

At this point Harry heard his father going through the hall. He called him into the room and re-stated his intentions.

"Well, Harry," answered Mr. Filmer, "if you choose to make your mother ill and miserable, I cannot prevent you doing so. But it does occur to me that we have had quite a surfeit of the Van Hoosens lately."

"You ought not to speak of Antony in that way, sir. You know the circumstances."

"I think perhaps I do not know them. I think perhaps that your mother was right, and too much was made of the circumstances. However, I must say that I do not feel equal to another wedding. My work has been thrown back and out of order, and I did hope and look for a little peace and comfort now."

His air was worried and yet decisive, and as he sat down by Mrs. Filmer and began to talk of their removal to Woodsome, Harry perceived that his affairs had been dismissed. He rose, went to his room, dressed for the evening, and then went to call upon Miss Alida. Her friend Selina Zabriski had just returned, but she was weary and invisible, and so Harry had Miss Alida's company without interruption. She wondered at his visit, but instantly connected it with Adriana. "Have you written to her?" she asked, with a knowing smile.

"I have been to see her. She is going to marry me as soon as you return to Woodsome."

"I told you to write. Why did you not follow my advice?"

"I bettered it."

"That is yet to be seen. Is Cousin Peter willing?"

"Yes. But my mother is very angry indeed, and greatly to my surprise, father is almost equally so."

"Henry Filmer has only a certain amount of good sense; he used it up on his daughter's affairs. Pray, what has Mrs. Filmer to say against your marriage?"

"She says I am her only son, and that it is very hard to have me taken away from her."

"She took Henry Filmer, who was an only son, from his father and mother."

"She does not like Yanna."

"It is not she who has to marry Yanna."

"She does not like the Van Hoosens."

"The Van Hoosens live and flourish without her liking. Now, Harry, what do you wish me to do?"

"We wish you to be glad with us--to approve our marriage."

"Your marriage suits me exactly. I am politely sorry it does not suit Mr. and Mrs. Filmer, but I like it. The sooner it takes place, the better I shall like it. When is it to be?"

"This month."

"Where?"

"In Woodsome. I was much pleased with the description Yanna's father gave of his wedding in the old Dutch church there; and we have resolved to have the same kind of simple ceremony."

"I am glad of that. I will stand by you. You are a couple of foolish young people; but your folly fits my wisdom, and so is warrantable. Where are you going to live?"

"We have not considered that question yet."

"The sparrows and the tom-tits have more sense than you have. They do build a nest before they go to house-keeping."

"We shall find a nest."

"What faith! You will find a nest! Go, then, and buy the rings, and get your wedding suits, and speak to the Dominie, and look to Providence for a roof to cover you. You may say 'good night' now, Harry. Lovers never know the clock. They come too soon, and they go too late, and they talk about months when they mean ten or eleven days. Good night, sir!"

But as it is ordained that lovers, like other men, have only feet and hands, and not wings, Harry could not accomplish his marriage as soon as he desired. There was law, as well as love, to consult; there were also milliners and dressmakers to wait upon, and domestic and financial matters to consider; so that it was the middle of June before the wedding day arrived. It might have been still later, had not Miss Alida suddenly resolved to spend the summer in Europe. This resolve left her handsome house vacant, and she said frankly to Harry that "it would be a great kindness to her if he would borrow it for his summer residence." Nothing could have been more delightful, and it simplified other considerations at once, and gave to the bride and bridegroom an idyllic retreat for a long honeymoon.

"I said there would be a nest found for us!" cried Harry joyfully; and Miss Alida laughingly answered "that she had been driven from house and home, and sent to wander over the face of the earth, in order to find them a nest." But, in reality, the arrangement was convenient and pleasant on both sides.

The wedding day was one of royal sunshine, and the little church was crowded with sympathetic neighbors and acquaintances. People generally forget to be envious and ill-natured at a wedding, for the very presence of visible love seems to hold in abeyance evil thoughts and feelings. So, when Adriana, in a brave white satin dress, slashed with sunshine, walked up the aisle on her father's arm, and Harry followed with Miss Alida on his arm, there was a murmur of admiration and good will. The bride was so lovely and the bridegroom so handsome, and both were so radiantly happy, that every one present caught joy from them.

Through the open windows came the scent of lilacs and the twitter of birds, and the old pines, like mystical trees, waved to and fro in the open spaces. The breath and the hope of the morning hours were yet in the air; the minister's smiling face and strong, cheerful words, went to the heart like wine; and an air of religious joy sanctified the rite. Blessed even to tears, the new husband and wife turned to each other, and then to the world, with hopes bright as the morning and purposes holy as their vows.

There was a large wedding breakfast at Miss Alida's, and then she had but just time to catch the train which would serve her steamer; and after her departure, one by one the visitors went away; so that, before sunset, Harry and Adriana were alone in their new home. Only one thing had marred the pleasure of the day; Harry's parents had refused to