To Those Who Wait by Sarah Stoflet (black male authors .txt) 📕

Some time passes. The end credits for the slasher movie "Bloody Hearts” rolled on the screen around it was about midnight.

"So, what was this sleepover for? I know you don't like hosting these without a reason," Tess asks, "not that I'm complaining."

I tell them every detail about the date, accidentally leaving out the detail of Homecoming.

"Korra," Tess starts, "Van isn't a good guy. He will break your heart."

"Why does everyone keep saying that!" I snap. "Everyone keeps acting like they know whats best for me, and I'm tired of it!"

"Maybe it's cause they do know whats best, Korra! I know Van better than I'd like to, and as much as you think you do, you don't know Van."

"Just let me figure it out myself! This is something I've wanted since sixth grade, and nobody's going to make me turn back but myself."

"Fine, Korra. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Dead silence overtook the room.

"Okay, change of topic." Tess interrupts. "Are we going to homecoming together?"

"I am. Don't know about Korra, she's probably going with Van. Mac pesters.

"Mature. Of course we're going together," I lie.

Technically, it wasn't a complete lie. We’re going together, I'm just going with Van, too. Eventually, we all fall asleep, but I had guilt written all over my fragile heart.

"I'm being serious, Korra," Mac warned. "Be careful with him."
"Oh. My. God. Mac, I am finished with your warnings! I have told you a million times to just LEAVE. ME. ALONE!"
"It's me or Van. I can't be your friend if you're going to do this to yourself!"
"Fine! Then  I choose Van!"
I immediately regretted those words as Mac walks away with watery eyes. I lean back on the lockers, sliding down to the floor. Great, I think, I may have just lost Mac. Forever.

My head is resting on my knees when Van strides over to the lockers.

Ringgg. Ringgg.

“Here, I’ll walk you to your class,” he says as he extends his hand, offering to help me up.

I force a small smile and take his hand. I expect him to let go of his grip once I’m up, but he continues to hold my hand. In a second, all my stress goes away. All my worries evaporated into thin air.

For once, I didn’t feel like the unwanted one. The one who never fit in. The new girl. For once, I didn’t feel like the girl with the guy who’s way out of her league. For once, I felt like I was wanted. No, needed. For once, I had a taste of normality, and it felt amazing.

It was like a scene out of a movie. Headlights shine through my open window. I dash over and see Van’s truck on the sidewalk. My light-purple dress drags behind me as I cascade down the spiral stairs, out to the driveway. After a short drive, we arrived at the school.

Van gets out of the truck first. He comes over to my side, opens my door, takes my hand, and I step down from the truck. Everything was so perfect. Almost too perfect, I think. I shake my paranoia and come to my senses.

Looking up, I am given nothing but deja vu.

“Crap,” I bite under my breath. Tess walks off, over to the gym, Mac following right behind her.

No words express how I felt. I had so many mixed feelings that were jumbled up. I had butterflies because I was on a date with Van, yet I felt guilt for the way I treated my friends. I was head-over-heels, completely in love,  and the excitement was overwhelming, yet I had a bottomless pit at the bottom of my stomach.
The night goes on. People dance to the beat of the music, as do I and Van. I feel bad for smiling, yet I still do. He leans in and kisses my forehead, then our lips touch. I felt like I was floating on clouds, and although my emotions were all over the place, there was once emotion I was sure about: I was in love, and he loved me back.

“I’ll be right back, Babe,” he whispers in my ear.

He called me Babe! I scream inside. “Okay.”

*****

The music stops, and I still couldn’t find Van. I would just go home, but he was my ride. My search brings me to the main hall. I hear people behind the door to the drama room, so I look inside to see if whoever was in there knew where he was.

This is where my love story took a fall for the worst. But don’t be mislead; the moment I saw Van and Brenna behind that door was only the beginning of my tragedy of a love story.

I’m screwed is the only thought running through my head. My friends have disowned me. My date cheated on me. I have had to leave my home, my mom. What am I supposed to do?

“Korra, please wait,” Van begs.

“You know the sad thing, Van? I actually fell for it. I actually thought you liked me, but I was so wrong. So horribly wrong.”

“No, Korra, please don’t. I don’t know what happened. I-”

“Just stop wasting your breath, Van. It’s not going to work,” I snap as I walk out the door. I call Taylor, explaining everything as she comes to pick me up.

We arrive back to the house and the night comes to an end.

“I’m sorry,” Hazel says.

“You didn’t do anything, it was all Van,” which I one-hundred percent believed. I didn’t even blame Brenna, I completely blamed Van.

“I know, I’m appologizing for not warning you more.”

“I wouldn’t have listened. I thought I knew better than everyone else. Thought I knew Van. I had to learn the hard way.” God, I’m an idiot. Why did I do this to myself?

Hazel sighed. “Can I tell you something?”

I gave her a look that said “sure, but I most likely won’t listen”.

“Van did the same thing to me. And Tess.”

My thoughts were so jumbled.

“Why don’t you just say ‘I told you so’ so we can be over with this conversation?” I snap.

*****

So much was going through my head. The way I treated my friends. How hard me and Van being together must have been for Tess. How dumb I was with the Van situation. How I treated my cousin, the only friend I had right now. I was also angry, not only at myself for not listening for being foolish and dumb. I was furious with Van for doing what he did, not only to me but to  I started seeing my problem: I shut out anyone who tells me what I don’t want to hear.  I ignore anything someone tells me that I don’t like, even if it’s for my own good.

The night goes on, and I try to cry myself to sleep. I feel so stupid for being so hurt. Why am I so hurt? How can he hurt me this much if I was never really, truly with him?

Ding, Ding, I hear as my screen turns bright. I had a message from Brenna Aspin:

Oh. My. God.

*****

All day I got insulting remarks. “He was way out of your league.” “You are so dumb for even trying.” “Did you really think you could match up to Brenna?”

They got worse and worse as the days went on. Everyone knew of the humiliation I went through.

The blood ran down my arm as I lifted the knife. I’d never thought I’d result to this, but here I am. Cutting over some boy. How did I come to this? It’s not as if I can help my situation by doing this. It’s been four months, for crying out loud!

But I couldn’t help it. It has become a necessity within the last few months. I felt as if I was giving into Brenna and Van’s games, but that was irrelevant now.Even if I was, I can’t stop. It’s now mandatory in order for me be able to try and get through the day. I don’t know how it works, how it makes me feel better, but it does.

Nobody knew, not even Hazel. There is no one to talk to, no one to confide in. I can’t tell an adult, because it will be reported. I can’t talk to Mackenzie or Contessa because they still weren’t talking to me. I can’t talk to Hazel because she will tell Taylor, which is