To Those Who Wait by Sarah Stoflet (black male authors .txt) 📕

I wanted to stop, but I didn’t see that happening anytime soon.

I cleaned up, bandaged the wound, and headed out the door for school. Another day of torture at Reels High.

*****

It bothered me more than it should. It bothered me seeing Mac and Tess act like I was never there, happy as ever. It bothered me seeing Van and Brenna all lovey-dovey with eachother.

Why I let it get to me, I don’t know. “Try to bee strong”, my family says. Let me be he first to say, easier said than done.

Before I knew it, it was lunch. For most people, that’s the best time of the school day. Not for me. For me, lunch means sitting by myself, all the time in the word think about the betrayal I felt from Van, making me feel worse and worse about myself.

Some think that I am full of self-pity and I need to get over myself, or that I am sulking just to get attention. While it is possible that I am over-reacting, I am not “acting upset” for self-pity or attention. And I will admit that I am over-reacting. I’m still upset about something that a boy did to me four months ago, and me and my best friends not talking over me chasing this boy. But is it over-reacting if you can’t control how you feel or how you’re reminded every day of your mistakes you made?

Tess and Mac started heading my way. Weather or not that was a good or bad thing, I had no idea.

“We’re really worried about you,” said Mac.

“Why? There’s no reason to be. I’m fine,” I lie.

“No, you’re not,” Contessa says.

“Your nose twitched. We all know you’re lying when you do that,” Mackenzie accuses.

“Fine,” I say. I explain everything, not leaving out a single detail. It felt nice to talk about it, to let someone know what’s going on inside of my head.

They attempt to comfort me, trying to make me feel better. Whether it was talking or their comforting me, I was starting to feel better. Nothing can make me feel one-hundred percent like I did before homecoming, at least not right now, but this is enough to get me through.

*****

A few more weeks go by. The comfort and conversation continued to help, but I still wasn’t fully recovered. I knew recovery would take a long time, but I didn’t know it’d take this long. The cutting is still occurring, but not quite as frequent.

Things had changed while we weren’t talking. Mac started dating the new guy,

Shawn, and Tess had been growing a “thing” with the senior class president, Jacob, for a while.

I wasn’t ready to move on. I still felt very hurt and was in pain over what Van did, even all these months later.

*****

Mrs. Bliss’ door had a pink sticky sticky on it, letting the class know that sixth period intermediate drama will be in the multi-purpose room for a school-wide presentation. When I arrived, the drama class had designated seats. Mine was right by Wes O’Rylei. Great, now I get to spend the whole class hearing him make fun of me.

“Hey, Korra. How are you holding up?” He asks.

“Decent. Better. How about you?” I ask, although I don’t really care.

“Pretty good,” he rubs in, “Except I’m better now.”

I didn’t think anything of it until he started talking again.

“I am free from Van’s grip, so I can talk to you.”

“What, did you guys get in another stupid argument over which Kardashian is hotter?” I remark.

“No, this time, we really aren’t friends anymore. He’s changed, you know. Since you guys were together.

“Ugh, I don’t wanna hear this,” I snap.

We drop the subject, and talk about other random stuff.

*****

Days, weeks even, pass. Wes became a prominent part of our group, although he was a Junior. It was nice. I wasn’t into him, and he didn’t seem to have those feelings for me anymore. Wes became my Recovery Road.

The countdown begun. Only 3 hours and 17 minutes until the play was to begin. Although I wasn’t in this play, I was still super excited because I could lay back and relax with my friends. Plus, we were all going to dinner before the play.

Our normal group was there. Shawn and Mac, Tess and Jacob, and Wes and me. At this point, Wes and I were the only unofficial couple in our little circle. Against our friends very many requests, we liked to keep it that way.

One hour and six minutes before the play, we all meet up at the local diner. We eat, pay the waiter, and head to the school to wait in line for our tickets.

*****

The first act of the play finishes out, and everyone heads to the concessions stand during the intersession. Me and Wes reach for a soda. His hand brushed against mine, and he drew back quickly, embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” I chuckle. We both laugh, and act like it never happened.

We head back into the black box theatre for Act Two.

*****

“It must have dropped like fifteen degrees in here. I’m gonna go up to the car and get my jacket,” I whisper. I was talking to Tess, but instead Wes responds.

“Here, you can use mine,” he says as he takes of his letterman's jacket. Was he just being nice, or was this his way of making a sly move on me?

“You’re sure?” I ask.

“Yeah, of course. I was getting overheated anyway.”

I was really cold, so I slipped the jacket on.

We all get comfortable again and are enjoying the show. Wes slides his arm behind my head, making me question once again if he was trying to make a move on me, or just trying to be comfortable.

I know that he was trying to make a move on me, but I was so doubtful. I wanted so bad for us to just be friends. At the same time, it felt good. The question I needed to ask wasn’t if he had feelings for me, it was if I had feelings for him. And I just realized the answer.

I tilt my head a little to the left, just enough to lay my head on his shoulder, and he responds with a smile. He barely lays his head on mine.

*****

The rest of the night flew by. Everything felt different, but it was a good different. Like when you move to a new house that you love. You didn’t necessarily mind the old house, but the new house is the good, healthy change you needed.

Everyone had left but me and Wes.

“So did you feel anything...different tonight?” He asks.

“What do you mean?”

At this point, we were turned around, facing each other. He lightly lifts my chin up and brushes his lips against mine.

Publication Date: 04-30-2016

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
Dedicated to the Sierra Ridge Writers Club. Thank you guys for your support and listening to my book.