Hot Blooded, Cold Hearted! by Carolyn Barber (reading a book .txt) 📕

Morris walked in as Dr. Jacobs was wrapping my head with gauze after checking the incision and giving me the rundown. "Everything looks good, we had no complications in surgery, the tumor is gone and your eyesight is back to normal. You're vitals look good. The biopsy report will take a week to ten days to get back. Once we get that information, we can go from there. In the meantime, I want to keep you here for the next few days just to make sure no infections develop. You need plenty of rest, but once we get you off the morphine drip, in a couple of days, I would encourage you to go for short walks and try to be mildly active. I am not giving you the clear yet, so don't jump up and rush yourself to work, capiche?" the doctor seemed to have been reading my mind. I frowned, "Capiche" I said disappointed. "Good morning Morris", the doctor said as they shook hands. "How's our girl doing today Doc?" He asked the doctor. "Jesus! I'm not two, I can answer for myself Morris!" I said irritated. "Oh Good! Looks like you're back to your normal bitchy self I see!" his tone, sarcastic. Dr. Jacobs laughed as he shook his head leaving the room. 

Morris stood there staring at me, "What?" I said wondering what was on his mind. "I brought something for you I think you'll like" he replied. He opened up his brief case and held up the layout for the magazines cover. "Oh Morris, this is good! Very disturbing, too disturbing! And unfortunately as much as I love it, it would be banned. It's way too graphic!" I told him. "Not if we put a jacket over it with a few strategically placed peep holes!" he replied as he slid a jacket over it exposing the magazine name "Run Amuck!". The jacket was an eye catching red. In bold print it stated: Caution!: Contains graphic material! One peep hole portrayed "Lecter Bowdine" the latest convicted serial killer. The other peep hole showed wrists tied together, and the final showed a bloody knife. The scene was gruesome, the details spelled out inside. "We seal it in plastic and we're good for go" he added. "I love it! Run with it! Did you come up with this?" I asked looking up at him. "Why yes, I did!" he replied sounding cocky as hell. "Feel free to sound arrogant, you earned the right on this one!" I said knowing he had hit a home run.  

Waiting for the results was agonizing as time seemed to drag on. My world seemed to become a tortorously slow motion drama. I tried to go back to work after being released from the hospital, but I couldn't keep my focused. As I proof read the articles written by my staff, I found my thoughts and views were some how changed. I had always had the ability to seperate myself from the victims and the angonizing pain they must have endured before their lives were snuffed out by a deranged, twisted and perverted killer. I thought about the victims lives being taken from them in such a brutal manner. They were gone. Their lives taken not from God Almighty, but at the sick hands of someone who had no care for them whatsoever. The thought of my own mortality laying on the line hit too close to home for me. As I read the grotesque scenes, I began to sob. They're gone and they were'nt coming back. Death is so absolute.

I called Morris into my office. "What's up? Are you not feeling well?" he asked sounding concerned. "I think I just need to go home" I said trying to keep it simple. "Penny, are you okay?" he said noticing I was visably upset. "They're all dead Morris. It' too much for me to deal with right now. They were people just like you and me, they had friends and family, and some sick son of a bitch took that from them" I said as I began to sob uncontrollably. "Penny, let me take you home. There's too much negativity here, you don't need these thoughts in your head" he said understanding why I would be upset. "It's okay Morris, I can just walk myself home, the doctor wanted me to get some exercise anyways, besides it's not raining, I'll be fine" I replied. "Non-sense. I'll walk with you. Get your things, let's go" he said, not taking no for an answer. I didn't bother arguing with him, I grabbed my purse and left my office with him. As we walked by the reception area he informed Rene we were leaving for the day. 

We headed out of the office and down the sidewalk, "Let's get something in your stomach, when's the last time you ate anyways? you're looking kind of skinny" he said. "I had some toast this morning" I replied. "That's all? Toast?" he asked. "I had butter on it" I said defending myself. "Way to indulge! That's it! You need to eat, we're going to Dixon's, my treat!" he insisted. "Fine! Apparently my lack of eating has me too feeble to argue with you" I retorted. 

It had been seven days since they ran a biopsy. The anticipation had me jumping every time my phone rang. Each time I had answered it, I was disappointed that it wasn't the doctor with the results. As we sat there in the diner eating and talking about anything but work, my cell phone rang. It was Dr. Jacobs. My heart was pounding something fierce. "Good afternoon Penny, how have you been feeling?" he asked with genuine concern. "Fine, do you have the results?" I asked cutting to the chase. "Can you meet me at my office?" he asked. It must be malignant I thought to myself, otherwise he would have just told me over the phone that it was benign. My heart sank, "Ofcourse. I'll be right there" I said and hung up. I didn't say anything for a moment. My face felt as though it was drained of color. I could feel my pulse throbbing in my juggler vein. "Well? Did he tell you anything?" Morris said anxious to know the results as well. "He wants to see me in his office, it must be malignant, why else would he want to see me, and not tell me over the phone if it was benign" I said as tears started to puddle up in my eyes. "Okay, well let's not jump to conclusions. You know better than that! Facts, we get the facts first, now dry your eyes and let's get over there" he said trying to help me overcome my emotions.

"Morris, I never really thanked you for sticking by my side throughout this whole damn thing. Even when I was a bitch, you stuck around. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I was that way to you and thank you for putting up with me" I said as I teared up again. Morris handed me his napkin, "Penny, I don't think you realize how incredible you are. I love that you're a cold-hearted bitch. Even an iceberg melts eventually, and when it does it produces the purest water on the planet. I can't wait for that day, and you know what? I'll be there when that happens" he said as he reached out and held my hand. I instinctively pulled my hand away. "Morris, you do realize it takes thousands of years for icebergs to melt, I doubt either of us have that much time!" I replied trying to joke my way out of his romantic aspiration. "Someday, you'll let me hold your hand, you'll want me to, and you won't be on a morphine drip either" he said with a look of determination on his face. "Let's get out of here before I ending up losing the lunch I just ate" I said staying true to my bitchy form. He paid the bill and we walked to his car just around the block. Dr. Jacobs office was about fifteen minutes away. We sat in silence while I starred out the window thinking about Morris and his loyalty to me. 

Dr. Jacobs sat behind his desk and gestured for us to take a seat, "Hello Penny, Morris good to see you" he said, "let's get down to business. I liked his style, cut to the chase. "The results of the biopsy came back malignant" he said and paused, letting it sink in. I thought I had prepared myself for this, I was fully expecting him to tell me it was malignant, and still I was stunned. I reached out for Morris's hand, I didn't care, I needed to grab ahold of something. He took my hand and gently squeezed it. "I'd like to get you set up with radiation therapy right away. The sooner we eradicate any cancerous cells the better" he added. "Penny, I'm recommending you to a damn fine radiation oncologist, one of the best in the city" he said as he handed me a business card.

"I'm sorry Dr. Jacobs, you'll have to forgive me, this all seems surreal. One minute I'm headed to work on a rainy Tuesday morning and then...suddenly everything about me and my life changes, I'm just sitting here trying to catch up to it all" I said as I broke down. Dr. Jacobs held up a tissue box, as Morris grabbed a couple and handed them to me. "Penny, I understand how difficult this is to take. You strike me as a feisty kind of gal.