Hot Blooded, Cold Hearted! by Carolyn Barber (reading a book .txt) 📕

"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boost, it keeps no record of wrong..." blah, blah, blah. What a crock! I had heard this scripture so many times, mainly at weddings when two poor saps are about to take their vows and pledge their eternal love. Yeah right! Get me a bucket! I believe in love just as much as I believe in Santa Clause. I stopped believing in both right around the time I turned five, the same year my parents abandoned me, leaving me to my Aunt Sophie. She hated holidays. She hated many things.

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Penny, Penny Hopkins. I believe my parents chose that name because that's just about how much I was worth to them. Look, the bottom line is this, I'm about to tell you my story, but I want you to have a clear understanding as to how cynical life has forced me to become. I trust no one. In my twenty-four years on this God forsaken planet, I have come to learn the hard way that everyone is motivated by their own self-interest. Myself included. As a matter of fact, I use to go out of my way to be as selfish as possible. I was my own "shot caller" and I controlled my own destiny. I clawed my way to the top as chief editor, stepping on many a toe along the way to become a success at a young age in my line of work. I call it survival of the fittest. 

And now, just like the devoted atheist at death's door, questioning, perhaps even hoping God exist, I find myself in a similar conundrum regarding love. I was so sure that I would be too clever to fall for such an absurd emotion. I built the walls so high, and so thick I was absolutely certain they were impenetrable. But now, due to unforeseen circumstances my icy heart has began to melt. I had a five-year plan, this was definitely not in it. Everything was all figured out, my life was exactly how I wanted it to be, and then suddenly life throws that unexpected curve ball.

The song "Here Comes The Rain Again" by Annie Lenox came to my mind as I looked out the window of my penthouse on the seventh floor that over looked the San Francisco bay. It had poured for six consecutive days. Annoying, but not unusual for January, the dead of winter. My office, was only two blocks away, either I would walk or take a taxi, on mornings like this walking was not an option. I called for a taxi.

I managed a staff of thirteen people who write articles and piece together "Run Amuck!"  a magazine that features society's worst crimes and criminals, old and new. Believe me when I say people tend to have a fascination for the morbid. The magazine's sales are phenomenal, no doubt people are sick, the one's that commit these heinous crimes and the ones who are thirsty for the gory details. I make sure the stories and photos are what the reader wants, a disturbing display of brutality, sexual assault, blood and dismemberment told descriptively enough to make the hair on the back of their neck stand up. I am very good at what I do and paid well for it. I run a tight ship, my team knows I am all business. If they impress me they get to keep their job, if they fail me, or fail a dead-line, they're out. There is no room for sloppiness, excuses or errors when it comes to the quality of the magazine. In the office I was known as "The Ice Queen". It suited me well as my tactics were cold, calculating and methodical. There was a core group of five, myself included that had worked well together since the beginning. The rest were interns that would eventually realize the pressure to preform up to my expectations would be too demanding. Hiring's and firing's would occur monthly on average. To me it was as simple as throwing spaghetti on the wall to see who would stick. That was the business, that was what it took to turn out an award winning magazine.

I waited downstairs in the lobby of the complex for the taxi. I threw on my trench coat and grabbed my umbrella as I saw it pull up. Without hesitation I opened the door and my umbrella almost simultaneously. Dashing down the wet steps, I slipped, lost my balance and fell backwards striking the back of my head on a step. Instantly I saw black.

I heard a siren, then voices, I could feel my body slightly jerking back and forth. I was confused, I wanted to see what was going on, but all I saw was black. "What is happening?" I asked one of the voices. "You've had an accident, you're in an ambulance headed to the hospital, I'm Peter, can you tell me your name?" he said as I felt him lift my eyelid. "Why can't I see? I have to get to work, what's going on?" I said as I began to panic. "Ma'am I need you to try and keep yourself calm, can you tell me your name?" he said in a calm soothing voice. "Penny, my name is Penny" I replied trying to gain control of myself. My head was pounding, as my thoughts were spinning. "Very good. Okay Penny, you fell and hit your head and busted yourself up pretty badly, we'll have you to the hospital in just a minute, what I need you to do is just try to relax, can you do that for me sweetheart?" he asked almost too sickening sweet to digest. "Why can't I see?" I pleaded for an answer. "The doctors are going to find that out for you, we're pulling up right now" he said as I felt the ambulance come to a halt. I heard the doors of the ambulance open and felt myself being jolted out.

I must have passed out because the next thing I know I was being prodded at again and a new set of voices filled my head. They sounded more urgent. "Are you with us Penny?" I heard a deep voice ask. "I can't see" I responded. We've got you stabilized and we're taking you in for a cat scan, have you had one before?" the deep voice asked. "No, but I know what one is" I replied. "Do you have someone we can call for you?" he asked. "No, no one" I said, then I added "Wait. Call Morris at "Run Amuck", tell him I'll be in late" I said treating this as if it were a minor delay. "Okay, we'll take care of it, you just lay back and rest" he calmly said.

Dr. Shaffer left the room and went to the desk, "I need you to pull up the number for Run Amuck" he said to the receptionist. Within seconds she had the number, dialed it and handed him the phone. "Yes, I would like to speak with Morris please, it's an emergency" he said to the person on the other end of the phone. "This is Morris, how can I help you?" he asked. "This is Dr. Shaffer in the emergency care unit at Mercy Hospital. We have a woman named Penny who requested I call you to let you know she would be coming in late. However, she has had a worse accident than she realizes, currently she is unable to see and we're trying to get to the bottom of it. She requested you as her only contact" Dr. Shaffer said hoping someone would come to offer her some comfort. "I'll be there shortly, thank you Dr. Shaffer" Morris said. He hung up and rushed out of the office, saying nothing to anyone. 

By the time Morris had gotten to the emergency ward, they were wheeling me on the stretcher to the x-ray technician for a cat scan. Morris caught up to us, "Penny, what the hell happened?" he said sounding concerned while following beside me down the long corridor. "Morris, what are you doing here? Who the hell is running the show at the office?" I scolded. "To hell with the show, it can run itself for a minute, are you alright?" he replied. "Not really, I'm freaking blind!" I said in a sarcastic tone. "Yeah, that's what the doctor told me when he called the office" Morris said with concern in his voice. "I fell and hit my head. They're going to scan my brain, God knows what they'll find up there!" I said more calmly. "Maybe they'll strike gold!" he joked. "Funny! Are you going to be here when I come out?" I asked him hoping deep down inside he would. "I'll be here Penny" he said as they wheeled me into x-ray.

Forty-five minutes later, they had wheeled me back into a quiet room. A nurse came and asked me a series of questions regarding insurance and health related information. I asked her if Morris was in the waiting room, and if so, could she send him in. She left and returned with Morris as he walked over to me, and took my hand. The gesture shocked me, and I pulled away. "Sorry" he said. "You just surprised me is all" I replied. "How did the cat scan go?" he asked trying to break the ackwardness up. "It was fine, I