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us, we are always together, we have the same circle of friends, since she was the head cheerleader and I was part of the varsity team so all the while I had this feeling of obligation that I needed to be with her all the time, I needed to be there to care of her to make my dad and her dad happy,” he let out a tired sigh. “Until before college ends, I had the realization that all I feel for her is platonic, I never imagined my future with her, it was all an obligation so I had to end it, I know it broke her heart so after graduation, she flew to Paris and studied modeling, a couple of years ago, she went back and started a career in Hollywood and now she is the famous Adriana Krueger. I managed to bring the friendship back and I have been aware what she has been doing about the girls that get linked to me, I never confronted her for it because I thought it was her released to get even to me and that she’ll move on from me eventually but I was wrong. I didn’t see any of it coming that fast, not right after the night she laid her eyes on you.”

He pulled me closer to him by hugging me so tight.

“I’m sorry you had to go through her that way, so don’t worry nothing like that will happen again. I promised.” He said as he buried his face on my neck.

I can see sincerity & truthfulness in his eyes but I feel it’s not enough, maybe because I like to hear straight from him the reason behind his generosity, his kindness and his passion.

“What’s wrong? You don’t have to be bothered by her, I’ll talk to her okay?” he said noticing the sadness on my face.

“Carter, I wanted to ask you something,”

He pulled up and faces me.

“What is it?”

I took another deep breath, I know I shouldn't be asking this but the reason why I wasn't able to say anything to Adriana Krueger is because I don’t have any idea on what we really are. Adriana Krueger ate me alive yesterday and I just stood her taking it all in.

“Why did you take me here?” I asked bravely.

He smiled widely as if I just told him a joke but I was so damn serious.

“I thought before you flew here to LA everything was clear to you,” he said, still smiling. “I brought you here because I like you and I want you, I don’t want seeing you on that club getting naked in front of someone else but me.” He licks his lips and I felt the familiar ache between my legs. “I am not supposed to say anything to you since you just got here and I don’t want to scare the hell out of you but I am going to say it anyway,” He cupped my face again pulling me closer to a quick kiss. “Jillian Winters you don’t have to worry about Ade or any other girl and I will never treat you like a trash simply because I am falling in love with you.”

I was shocked with his confession. Carter is falling in love with me? This isn't the answer I was actually waiting for. This is huge. There was never in my life that someone told me he is falling for me. I opened my mouth but closed it right away, I was trying to grasp for the right word to tell him but before I was able to come up with anything Carter’s lips crashes into mine. 

Chapter Nine

“No!”

I opened my eyes in horror. I am chasing my breath. I thought he found me but thank god I was only having a dream, a very bad dream. I glanced beside me and Carter is still sleeping like a baby. I get off the bed, walked towards the closet and grabbed the silk black robe hanging on the back of the closet door. I put it on to cover my almost naked since I was only wearing pink and black laced lingerie. After a couple of girl dates with Phoebe I learned how to dress myself up properly including wearing lingerie.

It was only four in the morning. I don’t know if I can still find my slumber after the dream I had about Dan. The dream started about the guy who tried to take advantage of me when I got drunk but when I opened my eyes to see his face, it was Dan. It has been a couple of months since I stopped having nightmares about him. I thought after a while I was able to completely move on from him. I still don’t know what really happened to him. I tried calling mom a couple of times but whenever she answers the phone I just hung up. I guess I still do not have the courage to talk to her and to really know what happened to them after I left town.

I made my way downstairs and went straight to the pool. The wind that blows outside is still cold. I don’t want to wake Carter so I decided to soak my feet on the pool. I haven’t told Carter about Dan and the life I had in St. Louis. I don’t know if I can tell him. After he told me he is falling for me he became even more romantic. He often brings me flowers and he calls me whenever we’re apart. I really appreciate the things he is doing for me but I still don’t know what I really feel about him. Yes, I got jealous with Adriana before but does that mean I was falling for him too? I hadn’t had that kind of feeling before, I never fall for someone, and though I liked someone but love I don’t think so.

Speaking of Adriana, I bumped into her a couple of times although, I know she intentionally came in my way, she was being the usual poker face bitter bitch. The kind of nice when Carter is around and when he isn’t she change her halo to horns.

The cold water gave me chills down my spine. It was still dark and the house is quiet as always.

I looked at my phone and sighed. Whenever I dreamt of Dan there is only one person who can make me feel safe: Nicole. I dialed her number while hoping that she is still awake and she was at home. We talked on the phone for a couple of times since I came here but lately I haven’t had the chance to ring her since I got so busy with school.

After the fourth ring she answered.

“Hey California Girl, how are you?”

I wasn’t able to help the smile that registered on my face when I heard Nicole’s high pitch cheery voice. God I missed her.

“I’m good, you?” I said trying to match her tone but I don’t think I was successful.

“Oh, what’s with the sad tone? Are you okay? Did Carter do something to you?” she panicked.

I immediately shook my head. I know she is worried and I hate that I had to put her into it.

“No, Carter and I are fine, I just . . . missed you,” I said trying to be cheery as possible.

I heard her took a deep breath.

“I know you Jillian, what’s wrong?”

I bit my lips, I am glad that despite the distance she still knows me when I am feeling uneasy.

“I have been having these dreams about Dan,” I said half-heartedly.

Making her worry about me is the last thing I want to do.

“Again? How often?” she asked.

I may not see her physically but I can imagine her concerned eyes while she tries to think of the best possible resolution to my problem.

“Almost every night this week, I don’t know why, I thought I’d stopped dreaming about him but ever since the night at the beach I kept on having nightmares.”

I think what the boy tried to do to me the night I got so drunk at the beach party triggered my memory of Dan to come back and haunt me.

“Yeah, me too. What happened to beach anyway?”

I told her about the incident on the beach, I even mentioned the thing about Adriana Krueger since she asked how I ended up at the beach. Nicole knows I am not a real party goer, so I had to start from the very beginning. She wasn’t very happy after I finished telling her my story.

“You shouldn’t really let yourself get out of control with parties like those. I know I often get drunk at parties but I only do that when I know I am surrounded by people who know me. Like my girls from St. Louis.” She lectured.

I nodded. I can’t argue with her because she is freaking right and I am an idiot. I talked to Christy the morning after and she said that she got drunk too and woke up the next morning lying on her own bed without any idea on who drove her home. Brooke was still MIA for three days after the party. I am still friends with them but I am definitely not going to come to their parties again.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“You should be,” she said with frustration. “Jillian, you need to be cautious of the things around you, I thought after going through a lot you learned how to become wiser. You cannot just trust people, I know I sound like your mom but I am just worried about you. I am not going to be there in times like that and you can never depend on Carter all the time. He may be rich and guarded but you have to keep an eye on yourself too.”

I nodded. I like the feeling of having someone who cared for me. She is even better than my mom. After she married Dan and started getting addicted to drugs, she stopped caring about me.

“Enough of me ranting on you,” she said taking a deep breath. “How’s Carter?”

“He’s fine. He’s good. And. . . . “I stopped.

“And then what?” she was left hanging.

I don’t know if I should tell her about what Carter told me, I haven’t told anyone about it yet. Not even Christy and Brooke cause until now it hasn’t sink in on me yet that he is falling in love with me.

“Jillian, I am waiting, spill it”

I sighed. She is the closest person I have. I consider her as my only family so I don’t think there is nothing wrong if I tell her.

“Carter said he is falling in love with me. . .” I dropped the bomb.

I heard her squeal.

“Oh my god! You rock girl! You had that hot bachelor fall for you. Wow, that’s even better than winning a lottery.” She said happily.

I smiled. Her energy is infectious knowing that it’s 4 in the morning and she was awake all night working at the club.

“You can rub in the face of that Adriana Krueger that you had the love of her life fall for you to get even,”

Of course, she isn’t a fan of Adriana Krueger either. I love her loyalty.

“But how about you? Do you feel the same?”

Nicole really

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