Broken Pieces by L. S. (cat reading book TXT) 📕

“It was your idea to drive at five in the morning,” I corrected.

He smiled and breathes my scent.

“Cause I don’t want to drive in the afternoon cause we only have a night to stay here, tomorrow evening we have to go back since they’ll need me in the office by Monday and you have class too.” He explained. “You know how much I want to spend time with you,”

I took a deep breath. When he gets this romantic I suddenly lost the right words to respond to him. Until now my feelings for Carter is still unclear. It was kind of funny because when Carter didn’t clear what is the real status of our relationship I was clueless and confused but now that he told me loud and clear that he is falling for in love with me, it is me that cannot seem to figure out what I really feel for him.

“Me too,” I whispered, not really sure if I meant it or not.

“I’m starving,” he said.

He ran his fingers on my bare legs since my sundress was pulled up when I laid down. I remember we only had coffee this morning and we weren’t able to get food on the road since I fell asleep.

“Me too, we only had coffee earlier.” I reminded him.

“Yeah, why don’t we get something to eat?”

“Good idea,” I agreed cause I am hungry myself.

“Do you want to go out and check the place or let’s have room service for now?” he asked.

I thought for a while, I am still too exhausted to go out. Since I lived when Carter I forgot how to be a morning person cause he prefers to stay in bed and cuddle instead of preparing breakfast.

“Let’s just stay here for a while,” I said. “Let’s see what they got here,” I sat on the bed and reached for the menu on the bed side table.

My dress was pulled up even higher showing my pink panties and Carter took the opportunity to caress my legs.

“I don’t think I like food right now.” He whispered.

He pulled me on my waist and placed me on his lap his hands caressing the small of my back. I immediately felt his erection through the soft fabric in between my legs. Heat explodes through my body.

“I thought you’re starving,” I squealed as he started kissing my neck.

“I am hungrier to have you than food.”

 Then he threw the menu on the floor and pushed me on the bed and placed himself on top of me. I may be confused with my real feelings towards him but I know one thing Carter and I are happy with what we have right now.

The whole afternoon Carter and I just stayed on our suite taking a nap and cuddling in bed. We had food delivered to us at lunch and took another nap until twilight. Six PM when the sun finally set we decided to go out and head to the hotel spa to relax. Carter had his Swedish massage while I chose Thai for myself. We fell asleep as we were being treated with different body cream. Carter met a couple of old men and invited him to play golf on the near course. He wasn’t into golf but he couldn’t say no to the old men. So I was left on the spa and had some waxing and then I went back to the suite after. Within the next hour Carter came back and we went to Palm Springs downtown to have some decent dinner. The statue of Marilyn Monroe was amazing and it kind of ironic to see her there since just a couple of weeks ago I was comparing myself to her.

“Did you like your food?” Carter asked after we’re done eating.

I wiped my mouth with the napkin and I gave him a slight nod.

“It’s delicious” I answered happily.

I really like the buttered shrimp that was served to me while Carter chose to have pasta with clams as his dinner. Carter also ordered a bottle of wine for us.

“More wine?”

I nodded again. I also started liking wine since I constantly go with him to formal events where they mostly serve wine and champagne. I am really getting used to the luxurious life of the local Californians especially those from Beverly Hills.

My body feels really relaxed and the massage treatment really calms my nerves. I also had my nails done. I put a neon blue color on both my finger and toenails. The manicurist said neon is what’s in nowadays.

Carter asked for the check and paid for our dinner. We walked out of the seafood restaurant with his fingers laced through mine. We didn’t bring the car, I told him it’s to have a walk every now and then besides it’s not even 20 minutes from the hotel. Carter gladly obliged.

We looked around the place and I was entertained by the colorful lights and the loud music coming from the bars.

“You wanna go inside?” he asked as we passed by the long line of bars.

I shook my head. After what happened to me at the beach party, the last thing I want to do is drink and get myself drunk again. Wine was fine since it only contains a couple percent of alcohol content. I always carry Nicole’s words with me.

“Nope, I won’t go back to letting myself drunk again” I said shaking my head.

Carter’s face turned from cocky to serious. Didn’t he like what I said? Did I go back to memory lane? I know he’s still upset about what happened to me at the beach party.

“Jillian, I want to talk to you about something,”

I suddenly felt nervous, the only time Carter got this serious was when he was talking me into coming with him here in California.

I gave him a slight nod. My heart started beating faster than it should be. He stopped walking and unlaced our fingers and put his hands on my arms.

“I know that you were getting nightmares, I get to wake up too and I know that you do go outside to calm yourself” he said with concern in his eyes.

I swallowed. All along I thought he was just sleeping whenever I go outside to get some fresh air after each nightmare I get.

“Tell me what happen in those dreams,” he said squeezing my hand tightly.

I haven't told him about Dan or about my life in St. Louis. I thought I will be able to carry on spending everyday with him without having to mention my past but I guess I was wrong and Carter is my family now so I think he has the right to know.

“Those dreams are about my stepfather,” I started.

He looked at me with so much concern in his eyes but he remained silent.

“Since I was thirteen I have been molested by my stepfather.”

“God, Jillian, I'm sorry!”

Carter pulled me into his arms and embraced me so tight. He thought that talking about my past on the road is not a good idea so he called for the hotel shuttle to bring us back to our suit. Once we got into the room, we lay down on the bed, his hand resting on my stomach while I told everything. From Dan being nice at first and until the time Nicole and I ran away. I broke down a couple of times as I told him my story and all he did was listen and hug me into his arms.

 “Jillian, I know what you've been through is fucking hard and honestly right now I really want to kill your stepfather and smack your mother in the head so she can wake up and see the reality of what her husband really is.” he said angrily.

I squeezed his palm. I really appreciate all the concern he has for me but I don't want him to feel upset about my mother and Dan. Besides, I am not even sure if Dan is still alive.

“You don't have to do that, I am fine,” I assured him. “I am free and Dan will never ever touch me again.”

He took a deep breath trying to calm himself.

“Do you want to go back to Missouri?” he asked. “I can go with you, we can bring Marcus and the guys, I'll make sure no one will ever harm you, I promised.”

I shook my head. I have been thinking about that since I lived in Florida but I know I am not ready, I can't even make a simple phone call to know how my mom is doing. I know in my heart that I am still afraid, afraid that I might get locked up there again. Admit it or not I still am.

“I've thought about that a million times but I'm not ready to step my foot up there again. I'm sorry,”

He pulled me into a tight embraced.

“It's okay baby, you don't have to say sorry. We'll go there once you're ready.”

“Thank you.”

He pressed his lips to mine. I feel safe just to be with his arms and I hope one day I can find the courage to go back home.

Carter and I decided to just sleep the night at the hotel instead of going out again. I slept with his arms wrapped around me making me feel safe and warm. I didn't dream of anything and for the first time in weeks since I started dreaming of Dan again I had the most peaceful sleep. The next morning, Sunday Carter decided to drive back to Beverly Hills instead of staying another night in Palm Springs. He said that it's better for us to go home so that we can still rest but I know that he is still worried about me. Since I told him my past he looks at me with so much concern in his eyes. He thinks of me like I am some sort of porcelain vase that needs to take care of or else I might break and he might not put me back again. He also suggested or I should say he demanded me to see a shrink. I refused about the idea, assuring him that I am fine and there's no need for me to see one but he insisted and I didn't want to argue with him so I just took a deep breath and nodded.

We hit the road in the morning and before lunch we are back home, Marcus and the guys aren't at home when we got here. Carter said that he had them took the day off since the original plan was to stay in Palm Springs for the whole weekend.

We spent the rest of the day at home. Martha took the day off too so I volunteered to cook for us for lunch. I made spaghetti since that's the easiest and less time consuming recipe I know. Carter is starving and wanted to have pizza delivered but I don't like takeout food. Besides my spaghetti is much delicious than takeout pizza.

We ate our lunch in silence. Carter occasionally hold my hand keeping me close to him. I don't know but telling him my story made him anxious that something will happen to me.

“Carter, I am fine, don't worry too much okay?”

I wasn't able to continue the day having him around me acting very unusual.

“I'm sorry,” he said taking a deep breath.

We are on our room, lying on our bed trying to take a nap to pass time.

“I just want to make you safe all the time.” he added.

I turned my body to face him.

 “I am safe, please don’t act like I am different. I am still the same, I've been trying to forget my past but if you keep on acting like I need babysitting then it will only make me remember everything.” I said. “I am going to talk to Dr. Sullivan, she'll help me so please take your mind off it.”

He nodded.

“Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't