Less than Perfect by S. J. Evans (love letters to the dead txt) đź“•
Excerpt from the book:
::What if everything you once thought you knew about your life was really all a facade, hiding the dark and burdening secrets of your past?
Skye Montgomery, a soft-spoken and sweet seventeen-year-old girl, lives in a less-than-perfect-lifestyle of lies, betrayal, and, most of all, secrets. Ever since the marriage of her mother, and step-father, Johnny, Skye has been playing with fire in a dangerous game of How Long can You Keep a Secret?. To make matters worse, she and her boyfriend, Bryan, have a few secrets of their own, as heartbreaking as they may be.
And finally, after having had enough of the oppressive secrets and lies, Skye is now searching desperately for a way out. For the dark, withering secrets, are becoming too much to handle. But with each passing day, reality becomes its own revolting nightmare, trouble lurking at the corners of past and present, and complications arise with every resolution.
Through it all, Skye manages to grasp onto one good thing: Jules, a charming and mysterious, gentleman who caught more than just her attention. His mystery and charm keep her intrigued, wanting to know more about him, while his caring and angelic ways give her reason to smile again. Though she knows for a fact that she once loved Bryan, Jules makes her question the things she thought were most important in her life, changing her perspective on how things really should be.
But the question is: will Skye be able to claw her way out of the strong holds these men have on her emotions and discover herself before it is too late? Well, it may not be easy when she’s struggling with two of the strongest emotions--Love and Hate.
*Rated PG-13, for abuse & harsh elements*
Skye Montgomery, a soft-spoken and sweet seventeen-year-old girl, lives in a less-than-perfect-lifestyle of lies, betrayal, and, most of all, secrets. Ever since the marriage of her mother, and step-father, Johnny, Skye has been playing with fire in a dangerous game of How Long can You Keep a Secret?. To make matters worse, she and her boyfriend, Bryan, have a few secrets of their own, as heartbreaking as they may be.
And finally, after having had enough of the oppressive secrets and lies, Skye is now searching desperately for a way out. For the dark, withering secrets, are becoming too much to handle. But with each passing day, reality becomes its own revolting nightmare, trouble lurking at the corners of past and present, and complications arise with every resolution.
Through it all, Skye manages to grasp onto one good thing: Jules, a charming and mysterious, gentleman who caught more than just her attention. His mystery and charm keep her intrigued, wanting to know more about him, while his caring and angelic ways give her reason to smile again. Though she knows for a fact that she once loved Bryan, Jules makes her question the things she thought were most important in her life, changing her perspective on how things really should be.
But the question is: will Skye be able to claw her way out of the strong holds these men have on her emotions and discover herself before it is too late? Well, it may not be easy when she’s struggling with two of the strongest emotions--Love and Hate.
*Rated PG-13, for abuse & harsh elements*
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- Author: S. J. Evans
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bottom lip and took a deep breath. She could feel the heat of his body next to her feet and it chilled every bone in her body, pinching on the nerves. “No, Johnny,” she told him, her voice refraining from showing any irritation or fear.
“Good, because you really should stay home and let those wounds heal.” By the way he spoke the words, she didn’t believe that it was even the same person. He sounded…different. He was no longer thrashing words and threats at her like she could’ve imagined him doing, and that made her uneasy—unable to decide if he was changing or if he was faking everything. The only thing that she knew was that she couldn’t trust him, not then, not ever.
“Johnny,” she started, only, she didn’t finish because she lost her breath, feeling his back right beside the nook of her stomach. She sucked in her breath and everything about her froze. Memories of the night before and so many other times flashed before her eyes, creating a nausea so overwhelming that she would have hurled if she had anything inside her.
“Princess,” He said quietly, brushing a hand over her arm and bringing the hair out of her pale face. “Are you alright? I’m sorry about last night, you know.” There was a certain hint of care in his voice, but she couldn’t discern whether it was real or not.
“Please Jonny, don’t do this,” She pleaded, her quiet voice catching as she fought tears of regret.
“Do what?” He recoiled a little, frowning.
“Don’t apologize when you know that you’ll just do it again,” she informed him, her breathing picking up as she looked him in the eyes.
He chuckled at the words, slightly amused yet still unsure, and this time, a little more himself. “Hurting you was a mistake, Princess. I just got carried away when I saw you in that room. There are private and personal things in there and I just didn’t want you to spy around. I’m sorry I hurt you, Skye, but there are consequences for snooping in other people’s business, if you haven’t already learned that.” He was gently stern—just the right amount of stern and gentleness—as he spoke, staring at her with bold, icy eyes.
“Then what makes you different than me? I know that you had files of research on my father, and pictures of me and Leah. Does she know? Were you ever going to tell her?” She threw back at him, a little too sharply, sitting up and pushing her back against the bedframe.
Anger flashed across his features for a moment, but he quickly replaced it with a look of cool amusement. “You shouldn’t be looking into things of the past, you have a bright future ahead of you, Princess. And as far as Leah, she doesn’t need to know, it doesn’t concern her.”
Skye had to fight the jaw dropping urge that threatened her, surprised by him. “Johnny, my father isn’t just the past, he’s my present, he’s part of me—I mean—I’m part of him. You can’t seriously think that this doesn’t concern us! You had pictures from years ago of us sprawled all over in that desk drawer!” She retorted, ignoring the fear that had weighed her down just moments before. She wanted to know her biological father more than anything else. Sure, she had seen a picture, and he had never been good to her mom, but she still needed to know the truth behind it all, before everything in her life could crumble even more. “How long have you been stalking us, Johnny? Or is that even your real name?” She bickered, bitterness bubbling up inside of her. She wasn’t sure who this man sitting before her was anymore—if she ever even had. Who has Leah let come into their lives?
He simply stared at the exasperated girl in front of him, wondering how she could ever have figured it all out in the first place; after all, she was never the bravest girl he had met. He hadn’t met anyone like her and Leah before and he knew they were special, from the beginning, when he first found them, he knew there was something more to them. He was right; they had a lot more written into their life story than they even knew about.
“Princess, where is all of this coming from? Your father left you and Leah, he didn’t care about you and he has never tried to look for you, don’t you find that unworthy of being a part in your life?” He asked calmly, resituating himself so that he was a little closer to her. “Leah doesn’t need to know, and you don’t need to worry. Nothing more was going on with those pictures, Skye, I only found them.”
She glared at him, fighting the surprise she felt tighten in her throat and face. “He left us, yes, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t care about us. He was just scared and confused, they were both too young. It was…a mess.” She breathed, catching her rapid breath as she looked away from Johnny, ashamed. She knew that she was the result of something so entirely wrong, something she hated thinking about, something that was almost so near to becoming her.
Turning towards him again, she narrowed her eyebrows at him, “You didn’t find those pictures did you, Johnny? You stole them, or had someone take them for you. They were never yours, were they?” Suddenly everything settled into her mind at once. She wasn’t sure of it all, but she had the strongest feeling she was right, and it twisted her stomach so hard she thought she would collapse from sleep.
Johnny was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth to speak several times, but all that came out was a quiet sound of honesty. He was hiding something worse than she even imagined. Finally, he mustered enough voice to say something to her, realizing how suspicious he was acting. “Why would you think that, Princess?”
“You got them from someone, Johnny, and Leah and I know this someone. That’s why you’re hiding it. How long have you known about us—since my birth?”
“You were five, just like the picture,” he admitted, closing the space between them a little.
Skye couldn’t believe he was actually telling her the truth, not lies. She blinked a few times to make sure that it wasn’t all some sort of nightmare, but he was still there, staring at her with a look of distress. It was a nightmare. Johnny has known about them since she was five, and not only that, but he’s known so much about them.
“He told me all about you both, giving me the pictures he had taken already as his research,” he went on, stressing the word he, “he loved you and told me that I would love you too.” He added, his heavy voice breaking the truth to her before her ears, his eyes full of thought. He moved himself closer and closer to her, reaching out for her face. Cupping her chin in his hands, he smiled faintly and chuckled wearily. “You have always been beautiful, just like your mother.” He whispered, brushing his dark finger against her lips.
She pulled away and backed into the bedside dresser, frantically breathing. “Johnny,” She breathed, shrinking back against the dresser. “You’re scaring me,” she added.
“He knew that he had messed up and told me to fix things, he wanted me to fix you, bring you into a cold world so that he could see you again. The days were so long,” he murmured, reaching a hand to touch her again.
She slapped it away and crawled away from him, gasping for air. All of the air in her lungs was seemingly digressing, leaving her body in a fluid motion. She choked on tears, thinking about the man Johnny was talking about, and stopped herself on the other end of the bed, hands propped and back hunched over. Everything was so twisted, unbelievably wrong; she didn’t understand how her life could be so messed with.
Feeling warm hands touch her shoulders and the bed sink a little, she realized that he was right behind her, breathing down her neck. “All of that time spent watching you, then hurting you, it has all been because of my love for you and Leah. You really are both too perfect for me,” he purred, bending his head next to her next and nuzzling it. She couldn’t move, her body was growing numb and she had to close her eyes just to think. “He has loved you in a better way though, one that’s not as ugly. Right, Princess?”
Trying to find words, she stumbled over her own breathing, thinking of ways to say what she had to say. “It—it couldn’t be him, Johnny. He wouldn’t have done that, he’s not that kind of man.” She stammered, swallowing hard on the lump in her throat.
“Maybe not now, but he certainly was back then, remember? He couldn’t believe you were truly his, he only brushed it off and tried to get over his love. He may have been wrong in many ways—I mean, he was—but nevertheless, he was in love and had something to show.”
It couldn’t be true, not that, never that. “No, I don’t—believe it.” She croaked, hot tears splashing down her face.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her up against him, causing her to gasp. “It’s about time you do,” he mumbled, bringing her down with him.
Facade
“Good, because you really should stay home and let those wounds heal.” By the way he spoke the words, she didn’t believe that it was even the same person. He sounded…different. He was no longer thrashing words and threats at her like she could’ve imagined him doing, and that made her uneasy—unable to decide if he was changing or if he was faking everything. The only thing that she knew was that she couldn’t trust him, not then, not ever.
“Johnny,” she started, only, she didn’t finish because she lost her breath, feeling his back right beside the nook of her stomach. She sucked in her breath and everything about her froze. Memories of the night before and so many other times flashed before her eyes, creating a nausea so overwhelming that she would have hurled if she had anything inside her.
“Princess,” He said quietly, brushing a hand over her arm and bringing the hair out of her pale face. “Are you alright? I’m sorry about last night, you know.” There was a certain hint of care in his voice, but she couldn’t discern whether it was real or not.
“Please Jonny, don’t do this,” She pleaded, her quiet voice catching as she fought tears of regret.
“Do what?” He recoiled a little, frowning.
“Don’t apologize when you know that you’ll just do it again,” she informed him, her breathing picking up as she looked him in the eyes.
He chuckled at the words, slightly amused yet still unsure, and this time, a little more himself. “Hurting you was a mistake, Princess. I just got carried away when I saw you in that room. There are private and personal things in there and I just didn’t want you to spy around. I’m sorry I hurt you, Skye, but there are consequences for snooping in other people’s business, if you haven’t already learned that.” He was gently stern—just the right amount of stern and gentleness—as he spoke, staring at her with bold, icy eyes.
“Then what makes you different than me? I know that you had files of research on my father, and pictures of me and Leah. Does she know? Were you ever going to tell her?” She threw back at him, a little too sharply, sitting up and pushing her back against the bedframe.
Anger flashed across his features for a moment, but he quickly replaced it with a look of cool amusement. “You shouldn’t be looking into things of the past, you have a bright future ahead of you, Princess. And as far as Leah, she doesn’t need to know, it doesn’t concern her.”
Skye had to fight the jaw dropping urge that threatened her, surprised by him. “Johnny, my father isn’t just the past, he’s my present, he’s part of me—I mean—I’m part of him. You can’t seriously think that this doesn’t concern us! You had pictures from years ago of us sprawled all over in that desk drawer!” She retorted, ignoring the fear that had weighed her down just moments before. She wanted to know her biological father more than anything else. Sure, she had seen a picture, and he had never been good to her mom, but she still needed to know the truth behind it all, before everything in her life could crumble even more. “How long have you been stalking us, Johnny? Or is that even your real name?” She bickered, bitterness bubbling up inside of her. She wasn’t sure who this man sitting before her was anymore—if she ever even had. Who has Leah let come into their lives?
He simply stared at the exasperated girl in front of him, wondering how she could ever have figured it all out in the first place; after all, she was never the bravest girl he had met. He hadn’t met anyone like her and Leah before and he knew they were special, from the beginning, when he first found them, he knew there was something more to them. He was right; they had a lot more written into their life story than they even knew about.
“Princess, where is all of this coming from? Your father left you and Leah, he didn’t care about you and he has never tried to look for you, don’t you find that unworthy of being a part in your life?” He asked calmly, resituating himself so that he was a little closer to her. “Leah doesn’t need to know, and you don’t need to worry. Nothing more was going on with those pictures, Skye, I only found them.”
She glared at him, fighting the surprise she felt tighten in her throat and face. “He left us, yes, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t care about us. He was just scared and confused, they were both too young. It was…a mess.” She breathed, catching her rapid breath as she looked away from Johnny, ashamed. She knew that she was the result of something so entirely wrong, something she hated thinking about, something that was almost so near to becoming her.
Turning towards him again, she narrowed her eyebrows at him, “You didn’t find those pictures did you, Johnny? You stole them, or had someone take them for you. They were never yours, were they?” Suddenly everything settled into her mind at once. She wasn’t sure of it all, but she had the strongest feeling she was right, and it twisted her stomach so hard she thought she would collapse from sleep.
Johnny was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth to speak several times, but all that came out was a quiet sound of honesty. He was hiding something worse than she even imagined. Finally, he mustered enough voice to say something to her, realizing how suspicious he was acting. “Why would you think that, Princess?”
“You got them from someone, Johnny, and Leah and I know this someone. That’s why you’re hiding it. How long have you known about us—since my birth?”
“You were five, just like the picture,” he admitted, closing the space between them a little.
Skye couldn’t believe he was actually telling her the truth, not lies. She blinked a few times to make sure that it wasn’t all some sort of nightmare, but he was still there, staring at her with a look of distress. It was a nightmare. Johnny has known about them since she was five, and not only that, but he’s known so much about them.
“He told me all about you both, giving me the pictures he had taken already as his research,” he went on, stressing the word he, “he loved you and told me that I would love you too.” He added, his heavy voice breaking the truth to her before her ears, his eyes full of thought. He moved himself closer and closer to her, reaching out for her face. Cupping her chin in his hands, he smiled faintly and chuckled wearily. “You have always been beautiful, just like your mother.” He whispered, brushing his dark finger against her lips.
She pulled away and backed into the bedside dresser, frantically breathing. “Johnny,” She breathed, shrinking back against the dresser. “You’re scaring me,” she added.
“He knew that he had messed up and told me to fix things, he wanted me to fix you, bring you into a cold world so that he could see you again. The days were so long,” he murmured, reaching a hand to touch her again.
She slapped it away and crawled away from him, gasping for air. All of the air in her lungs was seemingly digressing, leaving her body in a fluid motion. She choked on tears, thinking about the man Johnny was talking about, and stopped herself on the other end of the bed, hands propped and back hunched over. Everything was so twisted, unbelievably wrong; she didn’t understand how her life could be so messed with.
Feeling warm hands touch her shoulders and the bed sink a little, she realized that he was right behind her, breathing down her neck. “All of that time spent watching you, then hurting you, it has all been because of my love for you and Leah. You really are both too perfect for me,” he purred, bending his head next to her next and nuzzling it. She couldn’t move, her body was growing numb and she had to close her eyes just to think. “He has loved you in a better way though, one that’s not as ugly. Right, Princess?”
Trying to find words, she stumbled over her own breathing, thinking of ways to say what she had to say. “It—it couldn’t be him, Johnny. He wouldn’t have done that, he’s not that kind of man.” She stammered, swallowing hard on the lump in her throat.
“Maybe not now, but he certainly was back then, remember? He couldn’t believe you were truly his, he only brushed it off and tried to get over his love. He may have been wrong in many ways—I mean, he was—but nevertheless, he was in love and had something to show.”
It couldn’t be true, not that, never that. “No, I don’t—believe it.” She croaked, hot tears splashing down her face.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her up against him, causing her to gasp. “It’s about time you do,” he mumbled, bringing her down with him.
Facade
“Johnny!” Skye screamed, pushing her hands against the arms securely wrapped around her. “Let go of me,” she sobbed, fighting the man whose grip was too strong for her state of strength.
“Princess,” He drawled, laughing as he twisted them around so that he was on top of her, “You believe me, right?”
She glared at him, hatred surging through every vein in her body. “No,” she spat, looking him straight in the eyes.
He stared back at her, chuckling, a tainted anger clear in his eyes. “It’s true, Princess, he’s the one who brought me into your life—your real father.”
She sucked in her breath, biting her lip so that she didn’t scream, and turned her head away from him. She didn’t want him to see her crying, figuring that it would only upset him further than she knew he already was inside. “My father
couldn’t have done that to us, he couldn’t have set this life up for me and Leah.” She said quietly, irritation and
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