Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

Claire and I ran up the spiral staircase, the head of a broken mannequin stared back at me from the floor. Rowan's room was in the far end of the hallway with two other doors on the floor.

"Who else lives on this floor other than Rowan?"

Claire pointed at a door on her right, "This used to be my room until I was ten, I moved upstairs after that."

"Why?"

There it was, the emotional waterfall again, "Don't hate me for this, but I couldn't sleep every night with all the banging and screaming going on next door." It had scared me shitless the first time I'd seen it; I couldn't imagine how it must feel to go through the same thing each day. "He scared me, Alana. I'm still scared sometimes."

Didn't these people understand? Rowan needed someone next to him who wasn't scared of the demon inside him, who loved him with his personal demons and maybe I directly fell in the category. I heard soft noises drift from room at the end of the hallway even though the door to Rowan's room was shut.

Claire grabbed my arm, "I'll say it again, don't go inside. Right now, Rowan is capable of doing anything. He might hurt you and if he does, he's going to be hurting later when he realizes his mistake so just let him be."

"I have to check on him, make sure he is okay." I explained her, "He might listen to me."

"Alright, but I'm right here if you need me and if I hear you screaming bloody murder, I'm entering the room without knocking."

"Deal."

****

I had to be crazy to even think about entering this room after the amount of drilling I was getting from his sister, I wasn't sure as to what possessed me to take the risk.

Hope.

I could only hope he wouldn't send me packing or bang the door on my face. After I was done dealing with Rowan, I was going to be sure to kick some Dwight ass. Claire watched me as I neared the door of doom.

I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for the blow I was likely to receive. I knocked on the door once, only to be fired by a, "Fuck off!"

Great start.

"Rowan it's me, Alana."

Silence.

"Can I come in?"

Silence again.

"Okay, I'm letting myself in."

I opened the door only a crack and peeped in, only to be blinded by the darkness. My eyes couldn't adjust at first so I closed the door behind me, with that, the room went jet black but after a while my vision became clearer, as I became more acquainted to the darkness. The room was exceptionally large, with a king sized bed in the center, an upturned ottoman with murdered cushions and a flat TV facing the bed which had survived the Rowan calamity by the grace of lord. The fancy oval mirror had a jagged crack running through the center. The black guitar stood glimmering in the corner.

So Rowan played a guitar too, huh? What else did I not know about this man?

My feet would clank against the pieces of broken glass and other broken stuff that spread all across the floor. I went further into the dark and my eyes stopped scanning as the black silhouette of a person, crouched on the floor, stared at me. His back against the wall, his knees pulled close to his chest and I didn't fail to notice the bottle of alcohol in his hand.

"Rowan."

"Don't come near me."

I switched on the table lamp.

Damn! He was a mess. From the looks of it, he'd been pulling his hairs from the roots that had amazing created a unique hairstyle. Those tear rimmed eyes bore into mine, showcasing vivid dark emotions. I had an urge to cry at the mere sight of him. He seemed so...

Broken.

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I SAID, DON'T COME NEAR ME." he seized the lamp, pulled out of its socket and threw it across the room, pulling the room back into the darkness, "I DON'T NEED A FUCKING PSYCHOANALYST."

I stayed glued to the spot; I needed to make sure this was the same Rowan I knew because from what I could gather, he was possessed by those demons again. Honestly, I had to be brave enough and still expect the door to get slammed in my face. Being with Rowan also meant I had to be ready to take all the crap without complain. Sure, I never signed up for it, but my love for him betrayed me in the end. So it was suck it up or Make some MAJOR changes. One could always hope.

"It's me Alana." I tried again.

He needed to snap out of it.

"Alana, please leave me alone." he sounded civil, which was a good start. "I can't really face you right now."

I took another step with caution ready to dodge whatever he might throw at me next. "I'm here to talk."

"What do you want to talk about?" Rowan sounded more controlled now, "Do you want to end it?"

"What?" Then it occurred to me he was asking if I wanted to end our relationship, "No. No. Why would I do that?"

I went down on my knees next to where he sat, my heart started to speed up as I raised my hands to cup his face. I brushed those wild locks hiding his handsome face and urged him to make eye contact.

There wasn't a single emotion that didn't cross his face. "Don't do this to yourself baby."

That was his undoing; his face fell in the hollow of my neck as his body shook with the heavy sobs. I seized for the bottle that had loosened in his grip and quickly hid it behind me while he continued to cry in my arms. Rowan had always struck me as a controlled, strict teacher, the first time I'd seen him during my class. I hadn't a clue back then that beneath all the strong and controlled layers lay a broken man. It never crossed my mind that I'd be sitting in his room and wiping his tears two months later.

"I promised..."

He sat up straighter; close enough for me to see his sculpted features. The moon-light pouring from the window was aimed at him.