Less than Perfect by S. J. Evans (love letters to the dead txt) 📕

gasping from fear, she came face-to-face with Leah’s doctor.
He backed away a little, surprised. “Miss, are you alright?” he whispered, quiet enough so that his voice didn’t carry too far. He examined Skye, his muddy eyes staring back at Skye’s with worry.
Skye laughed unevenly, catching her breath, and grabbed a hold of the chair from underneath it. It wasn’t Johnny; he wasn’t trying to hurt her as he was in her dream.
“Um,” she murmured. “I’m fine, Doctor, sorry. I guess I was just having a bad dream.” Her eyes scanned over the room, avoiding the doctor’s intent stare, and found Johnny, asleep, on the chair she’d last seen him in. Apparently he was exhausted too, but for reasons she wasn’t sure of. What could he possibly have been doing that had drained him so much? Surely he hadn’t lost that much sleep because of Skye; she didn’t mean enough to him for that.
“Don’t apologize miss, it’s understandable in situations like this. How are you feeling?” the doctor inquired.
Though she knew the ‘situations’ referred back to what was going on with Leah, she couldn’t help but imagine talking to a psychologist about Johnny and having them tell her everything was going to be alright. If she were to have a psychologist, she wouldn’t believe him.
Taking a calm breath, she faked a smile and looked back into the man’s eyes. “I’m feeling alright, considering all that’s going on with my mom. How is she? Is she going to be alright?” She spoke quickly.
He smiled, white teeth glistening under the bright white lights. “I’ve got some good news. But I think you’d much rather hear it from your mother. Am I right?”
A pang of relief flamed her insides, warming her entire body. Good news

, she sighed. Leah’s really going to be okay after all

. Her body went light, no longer weighed by worry and anticipation. The bright room around her came into clear view. The desire to sleep fell away into the back of her mind. She wanted to see her mother, talk to her mother, hold her mother and not let go until she begged her to.
“Of course!” she gasped, though the sound didn’t travel too far. “So she’s awake?”
“Yes, she’s awake and ready to see you. Should we wake your stepfather, too?” The doctor said, pointing to Johnny. There was a look on his face, almost as if he couldn’t bear to look at the man, for a moment before it was quickly replaced with a small smile.
Hesitantly, Skye glanced in Johnny’s direction. He was out, cold; she had no desire to wake him. Shaking her head, she put on a small smile.
“There’s no need,” she whispered. “We should let him rest.”
“Alright, miss. Well, would you like to see her now?”
“Yes,” she confirmed. “Thank you.”
He nodded, as if to say “you’re welcome”, and held his hand out to accompany her. “Follow me,” he said pleasantly.
Though she’d never enjoyed hospitals (they always reminded her of misery and death), she’d always liked Leah’s doctor. He was a kind gentleman, always looking out for people’s best interest. He never once had failed them in any manner or regard, and his gestures were always suitable to whatever the situation.
There was even one point in time, Skye recalled, that Leah and the doctor had been interested in one another. But after a long while in the relationship, Leah decided it wouldn’t work out and broke everything off. Shortly before that, she’d found Johnny. Maybe if Leah had known how awful Johnny could be, Skye would have ended up with a much more suiting stepfather.
As the two traveled a little ways down a white hallway in silence, there was a cold chill in the air that prodded at Skye’s nerves. She knew it was only the air-conditioning that was so cold, but even so, something strange told her that the chills were from the topic of her memories more than how cool the air was around her.
They came to a large wooden door with a room number on it and stopped. The doctor gestured towards it and gave Skye an assuring smile. “Here we are,” he sighed. “Let me know if either of you need anything.”
Skye nodded and grasped the handle, slowly turning it. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and closed her eyes, preparing herself for what awaited her inside the room. Certainly, she imagined, tears would be the first things that trickled out from her, along with Leah’s name. Opening her eyes and smiling at the doctor, she mouthed three quick words: “Thank you, Joe.”
He grinned then—face filled with light—and tipped his head forward a little, a small gesture. Mouthing “don’t mention it”, he stepped back a little and walked away, only to stop himself and look back at Skye.
She was about to step inside when his voice reached her, bringing her gaze back on him.
“And Skye,” he called, “the news is pretty big. Be sure you give her a big smile. She always loves it when you smile.” With that, he turned and left down the hall.
Tears welled in her eyes, spilling down in tiny little droplets, as she pressed her head against the door. Seeing Joe like that, a smile on his face, talking about her and her mother, had made Skye’s stomach clench up with regret. In a moment’s time, she remembered all those times from the past when he and Leah had been together, so close and happy together, and all the times he told Skye to keep smiling because it looked good on her and pleased her mother. Joe had not only been a good friend to Leah, but to Skye too; he would have made a great second father.
“And she always smiled when she was with you,” she whispered, caught in memories. She remembered one of the nights Joe had visited Leah and Skye at their home for dinner. It was a dark autumn night; three weeks after Leah met Johnny. And at first, it was a great night. Only, that was before Leah told Joe things wouldn’t work out, that she had met someone else, and broke his heart. Leah would never know that Joe had planned on proposing to her that night. Nor would she ever know that Skye knew about the proposal and wanted it more than anything. She’d always wanted to have a family like they had back then; she always wanted a real father who loved her and her mother richly. Instead, she got Johnny.
Turning the door handle, Skye stepped into the room, slowly, blinking away her tears. The moment she laid eyes on Leah, she smiled, sighed, and felt warm droplets of water sliding down her cheeks. Leah turned her head towards the sound of the closing door and caught Skye’s gaze, retuning it with a smile.
“Mom,” Skye breathed, rushing to her side. She managed to wrap herself in Leah’s arms, avoiding all the machines and obstacles at her bedside, and burst into tears. She couldn’t help but cry tears of joy for her mother’s life, nor could she help crying for what could have been. She couldn’t help but miss the past life she had before Johnny; a time when everything was so much better.
“It’s okay, sweetie, I’m going to be just fine,” Leah’s voice whispered around Skye’s ears. The warm breath sent chills down her spine. A broken side of her mind imagined the times when Johnny’s breath had touched her skin, but a better side remembered Jules’ breath against her skin, tickling her in a good way.
“I know,” Skye whispered, holding on tighter. “I know, Mom.”
After about a minute passed, both holding onto each other, rocking in tears, Leah slowly pulled Skye away, touching her daughter’s face and pushing stray hair away. “I love you, Skye. You know that, right?”
Skye quivered a laugh, blinking away a few stray tears. “I love you too, Mom. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t woken up.”
Leah blinked hard and shook her head a little, regarding Skye with such love and care. “Oh sweetheart, you shouldn’t think like that, alright? I’m here now, and that’s all that matters.”
“Yeah,” Skye choked on her tears, forcing a small smile. “I’m just so glad you’re going to be okay!” She gasped, wrapping her arms around her limp mother again.
“I know, sweetie, I know. I’m fine, the baby is fine; everything’s right where it should be.”
Skye froze inside, involuntarily on edge. Baby?

The word echoed in her mind over and over again, pounding painfully against her skull. She must have heard her wrong, right? Leah couldn’t be with child, she couldn’t. But as Skye registered Leah’s glowing smile, a smile with so much radiance and happiness that it could only belong to an expecting mother who’d always dreamed of having another child, she gave up second-guessing. It had to be true. After all, Joe had mentioned that it was really big news.
Slowly pulling herself away from Leah, she took her mother’s hands in her own. “Baby

, Mom?” she gasped. “You’re pregnant?” She was utterly surprised, her voice small and squeaky, eyes big and bold, everything about her shaken up.
Leah nodded her head enthusiastically, tightening her hold on Skye’s hand. “Yes, Skye,” she chirped, “You’re going to have a baby brother or sister! Isn’t that wonderful?”
Everything hit Skye at the same time, clouding her vision and twisting her stomach. Leah was pregnant with Johnny’s child. Johnny: a man so vile and horrid that every last nerve of Skye’s is put on high alert by the small mention of his name. Not only was Leah pregnant, but she was ignorant to the terrible thing that was happening around her. She was clueless of both the physical and emotional pain this new baby’s father had caused on her daughter practically every day for the past four years. If she were to know about Johnny’s dark secret, there’s no possible way she would feel the same way.
Skye didn’t want to upset Leah with more news, especially considering how happy she was about the news she’d just gotten, but she wouldn’t let her mom have this child in a few months without knowing the truth. She needed to tell her now; it wasn’t only for her sake or Skye’s, but the baby’s. She wouldn’t let Johnny hurt his own child too.
“Um, Mom,” Skye mumbled, “There’s really something you should know.”
Leah drew back a little and cocked an eyebrow, surprised and slightly eager to hear what her daughter had to say. “Is everything alright, sweetheart?”
Skye cringed, dropping her head to avoid looking her mother in the eyes. “Not really.”
“Well than, what is it? Are you not excited to be an older sister?”
“It wouldn’t be right!” Skye exclaimed, a sudden pulse of anger raging inside of her. She watched as Leah drew back in shock, her heart beating obnoxiously against her chest. “I—I mean, it wouldn’t be the same. Johnny’s not my birth father, Mom; the baby would be part him. ” She stammered.