Forever by Trina T (book suggestions .txt) 📕

know Zara she is hard to control.”

“Well he seems to have a good handle on it.” I muttered.

“Yea, well, there’s a reason for that too.”
It was driving me nuts not knowing what was going on, not knowing what Paul knew. I glared at him hoping he’d tell me.

“I’m not going to tell you. Just be happy.”

“Be happy, how the fuck am I supposed to be happy?”

“Because, the last time I saw Zar she looked ten times worse than she does now.” Paul growled as he walked away from me. Leaving me standing alone and confused and royally pissed!!!

As school ended I walked out the front doors to see Zach and her standing with a group of Zach’s friends. She was closely held at his side. I caught her eyes and she quickly turned away. I recognized that look, she was ashamed and embarrassed. My blood boiled again. I turned from the direction I was headed and started walking over to them. I was going to take her away from that bastared weather she liked it or not. She saw me coming, her eyes full of fear. Out of nowhere Paul was at my side. He took me by the arm.

“Don’t you dare cause a scene.” He demanded.

I was too pissed to even reply. I just let him drag me away, my eyes not leaving hers until the absolute last moment.


Present…

I saw my mom’s car still wasn’t home and I looked at my phone. It was well past midnight, almost one. I wondered where she could be. But knowing my mom she probably got caught up talking to her friends. I walked into the dark house, turning on lights as I went. I went to make sure my brother was in bed, he was sound asleep. But I smelled the gross smell of weed coming through his room. I rolled my eyes and shut my door. I checked my phone again to see if Logan had tried to call, nope. I thought about calling Paul but decided against it. I just went into my room, not bothering with the last. I sat on my bed and just stayed like that. I didn’t even move when I heard the front door open. I looked at my clock, it was almost two. Wow, I have been sitting here, looking at nothing for an hour, I thought. I heard my mom come up the stairs, then knock on my door.

“I’m up.” I called to the closed door.

I watched as the light splashed across my dark room, making my eyes squint. As they focused I noticed it wasn’t my mom.

“Logan?!” I asked in total shock. “What the fuck-” before I could finish my sentence Logan had his lips on mine.

I pushed him back. “Get out!” I whispered as meanly as I could without being too loud.

“Let me explain!” Logan looked desperate. But I wasn’t about to put mercy on him.

“No!”

“Well I’m not leaving until I explain!” And he used to call me stubborn?

“Too bad! Get out!” I pushed him back. He hardly even moved. Ugh! I hated that I wasn’t strong!

I couldn’t see Logan’s face, all I saw was his outline. “If you’re not going to listen to me at will, I will force you.” He was getting pissed. Good, I thought.

“Get. Out!”

“Do you know how hurt I was when you left me for that fucker? I thought I was going to…ugh, I don’t know what I was going to do but I was so hurt and felt so abandoned. You’re the first and only girl I ever loved! I have never been able to get you out of my fucking mind! No matter what or who I did! You were always in my head. I used to think I was going crazy because I literally got the shakes from not being near you! Don’t you understand Z.J? I love you with more than just words or feelings! I don’t even know how to make you understand!

When I saw you with him, when I saw you look like you did, when I heard the rumors, it took all I had, with Paul’s help, not to do anything stupid! All I wanted to do was protect you and you wouldn’t let me! You lost your virginity with him and not me! You let him control you and beat you and force you to have sex! Do you know how fucking hard that was for me to see and not be able to do anything about it?”
I was crying so hard by the time he finished. I knew I had hurt him. And I hated myself for it, everyday.
When I broke up with Logan, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be with him or that I liked Zach more. It was because I thought he didn’t love me anymore.

“How can you say that to me?” I asked him threw my sobs.

“Say what?” confused, he grabbed my arm and led me to my bed.

“That you loved me so much! Mike told me you didn’t, that you were just pretending! That’s why I broke up with you.” I was trying to calm myself down but it wasn’t working.

“What?” Logan exploded.

“Shhh! My brother is sleeping!” I scolded.
Logan ran his hand over his head and let out a breath to try and calm himself down. “That is not ture, and if I ever see that shit again I will kick his ass.”

“He’s in jail.” I reminded him. “Fuck…” he mumbled.

“So you left me because of what Mike said?”

“That and I didn’t want you to break up with me. I was scared of being with you. You loved me so much and I didn’t think I deserved that…”

Logan cut me off “You thought you deserved being beat and rapped instead of being loved?”

“No…I’m sorry…it’s just that you weren’t around a lot and I thought you were trying to clue me in, I’m so sorry, Logan, I’m so sorry…” I quivered.

Logan pulled me onto his lap, he took my chin in his hand and forced me to look at him. “Stop saying you’re sorry!” he demanded and I nodded my head. “I’m not happy about the choices you made or the choices I made either. We both made mistakes. Not just you and not just me. Ok?” I nodded again, I didn’t trust my voice. Then Logan said something that took me off guard. “I’m so proud of you!”

“What? Why?” I was so lost as to why he would say this.

He smiled at me. “Because you got out, you got out by yourself. Granted you stayed way too long but you did get out and I’m proud of you for that. You’re the bravest girl I know and I love you so much.”

“I love you too!” I said as I kissed his cheek.

He took my chin in his hand again and moved my face in front of his. He kissed me like it was the last kiss we would ever have.

“You…are mine…and you…always…will be.” Logan said between kisses.

60 years later…

“Grandma…”

“Yes, my child?” my grandma asked me as she finished folding a shirt.

“Do you think that I was stupid for breaking up with Josh?” I avoided looking her in the eyes.
She put the second shirt down and looked at me. “Child, look at me…” I did.

“Do you love this Josh fellow?”

I thought about it for a moment. Josh and I had been going out for almost nine months. He was very handsome and very funny. His bright green eyes made me smile every time I saw them.

“Um, I think I do…” I said meekly.

“There is no thinking involved in love, child. There is only feeling.”

I was pretty sure I did. I just didn’t want to waste my life only being with one guy. I wanted to explore who else was out there.

“I just don’t want to be tied down so young…” I said in a huff.

My grandma laughed. “That’s good, child. You know though, you can’t complain if the one you truly love finds you so young.”

“But why couldn’t I wait to meet Josh until I was older?” i watched as my grandma twisted a silver ring on her right hand.

“His love is so strong for you, he found you sooner than he should have.” My grandma said as she wagged her pointer finger at me.

“So what should I do?” I asked annoyed she gave me the run around to my question.

“What do you feel you should do?”
I thought. “I don’t want to lose him…”

“Then, child, why are you asking me for advice? You already knew what you wanted.”

I stayed silent. My grandma took this as an opportunity to continue. “You just wanted to get reassured, is that right?” my grandma laughed lightly.

“Yes, I think so?” I was confused.
My grandma took a deep breath. “When I was young, younger than you, I met the love of my life. But I let him get away from me. And I regretted it for a long time.” My grandma’s eyes filled with water.

“But don’t you love grandpa?” I was shocked. They seemed like the perfect couple.

“She may have let me go at one point but I loved her too much to stay away for too long.” My grandpa said as he walked into the room giving my grandma a kiss on the head. She smiled up at him, taking his hand in hers.

“Wait…you broke up with grandpa when you guys were young?” Wow, I thought. I never would have imagined them ever seeing other people.

“Yes…” My grandma said. “I was like you, afraid of the unknown. I didn’t want to miss out. But what I didn’t realize was I was missing out on the love of my life. Those years I was apart from your grandpa were the worst years in my life.”

“But she wised up and took me back!” Grandpa smiled.

I was still in shock but I new what I had to do. “Wow, can’t wait to hear all about this, but I need to call Josh.” I flew out of the living room, leaving my grandparents laughing and holding hands. I needed to find my cell phone!

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