The A girl by Hope (best book series to read txt) đź“•
Excerpt from the book:
As an orphan you always have questions, but i had always thought that i was given the answers. I thought i could trust the dean of my school who was also the man i had called father for as long as i could remember. Then again i thought i could trust my best friend, and i never in my right mind thought i could fall in love with a teacher. I didn't know that there could be so many secrets about myself that even i didn't have the answers to...
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- Author: Hope
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the day, and realized I’d promised Aaron I’d talk to Adrian. I bit my lip wondering if it was a good idea or not and I heard Adrian sigh as he sat up.
“What is it Ahnallie?” He asked me.
“How do you know when something’s wrong?” I asked him surprised at how he knew when he wasn’t looking at me.
“I can’t explain it you just physically feel different when something is bothering you, and if I can see you I can tell because you always bite your lip.” He said and I silently cursed my habit.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, now tell me what’s wrong.” He said not letting me change the subject making me groan.
“I told Aaron I’d ask if it was okay with you to tell him about my dad. I know what you’re going to say, but I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t ask.” I admitted.
“How did you get to that subject?” He asked and I shrugged.
“I don’t know he said he could tell something was bugging me, and I told him I couldn’t tell him. Isn’t the issue that he asked more important?”
“No, you know what the answer is. There is no way in hell I’d trust him with that kind of information. Besides I’m more worried about the fact that he knew something was up.” He said and I couldn’t help, but pout at him telling me no. I knew it would be stupid to tell Aaron, but I wanted to a little bit.
“Yeah I know.”
“Were you seriously considering telling him?” He asked me surprised and I shrugged.
“I know it’d be stupid to tell him.” I said and he stood up getting off the bed.
“But you love him, and hate not telling him everything.” He finished for me and I shook my head sitting on my knees on the bed.
“No that’s not it at all. Adrian don’t be mad; don’t leave like this.” I begged trying not to cry as he walked towards the window.
“How can I not be mad? What other explanation is there?” He demanded, and I opened my mouth begging for words to come out. “Exactly.” He muttered opening the window, and I ran over to him standing in front of the window.
“Don’t be mad at me.” Was the only thing I could manage to say with tears stinging my eyes, and he looked at me sympathy and guilt shining through the anger and pain that clouded his eyes.
“Ahnallie I really wish I could just forgive you, but I can’t. I feel like I’m being played a fool. Maybe I took too long, and it’s just too late.” He said gently nudging me to the side, and I grabbed his arm.
“No, no it’s not. Please let me explain. Just stay a little longer.” I begged him, and he easily took his arm out of my hands.
“Explain what exactly? You can’t explain when I know the answer. Are you going to try to lie to me? Tell me what you think I want to hear?” He asked me bitterly and I felt my lips quiver as a sob threatened to overtake me.
“No; I couldn’t if I wanted too. Adrian please.” I said being overtaken by sadness. “Please.” I begged tears finally sliding down my face.
“You keep saying please, but what’s going to happen if I stay. What more can you say?” He asked me and I hung my head looking at the ground as tears fell to the floor.
“I just don’t want to lose you. I’ll break up with Aaron please just don’t hate me.” I said crying even harder at the thought of Aaron’s crushed face, and suddenly Adrian swooped me up into his arms carrying me to the bed. He laid me down, and I felt his eyes on me.
“I could never hate you.” He whispered kneeling in front of my face next to the bed.
“I can’t stand the thought of you leaving angry.” I whispered looking up into his eyes but his emotions were hidden from me. That upset me even more. The fact that he was hiding what he was feeling from me drove me crazy.
“I don’t know what you expected Ahnallie.” He whispered and I shrugged.
“I wasn’t thinking; I’m sorry.” I whispered closing my eyes so the tears would stop flooding my sheets. “I wasn’t kidding if it’s going to ruin us I’ll break up with him.” I said biting my lip as a sob threatened to overwhelm me and I felt tears start up again.
“No, don’t do that.” He said brushing the tears off my face gently.
“No, I’ll do it for you. If that’s what you want.”
“Ahnallie, I can’t make you give up someone you love. I wouldn’t feel right hurting you that way. I could never do that to you.” He said quietly, and I knew it hurt him to say those words.
“What are we now? Twilight?” I asked him attempting at a joke to lighten the mood. He chuckled shaking his head.
“We are so much more than that.” He whispered standing up again.
“Wait one more thing.” I said following him to the window.
“Yes?” He asked turning to me.
“I love you.” I said stealing a kiss, but I could tell it was different. He was guarded, on edge, as he tried to control his feelings.
“I love you to, but I have to go.” He said and I nodded looking at the ground. I watched him fly into the night as a bat and I sighed shutting the window. I jumped into my bed snuffling into my pillow. I tried not to bawl out loud because I knew he could hear me through the walls. Then I realized it meant I could hear him too. I pressed my ear to the wall, but all the sounds were muffled so I tiptoed to my door opening it quietly. I knew spying was wrong, but he’d spied on me so I figured I’d get off the hook.
I walked to his door, and put my ear on it. I listened as closely as I could, and I realized he was crying. I had made poor Adrian cry. Without thinking about it I opened the door and wrapped my arms around him. He was on his bed with red eyes, and he was sniffling.
“What are you doing here Miss Faine?” He asked me, and I looked at him taking a step back.
“I heard you crying and I felt bad. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I- I’m sorry; I know it is wrong to spy on people, but I couldn’t resist.” I explained quickly.
“You cannot just walk into a teacher’s room. So if you’d please excuse yourself I’d appreciate it.” He said sternly and I looked at him confused and walked out of the room shutting the door behind me. I walked into my room sitting on the edge of my bed confused.
“Allie it’s too dangerous to just waltz into my room like that.” Adrian said walking into my room a few minutes later with a regained composure.
“I’m sorry, I know it was dumb someone could have seen me, but when I heard you crying I felt bad. Are you okay?” I asked him and he shrugged.
“It doesn’t bother me that you cared or that someone could have seen you so much as I think my room may be bugged.” Adrian explained and I nodded.
“Isn’t it just as likely my room is bugged?” I asked him and he shook his head.
“Normally you check your room for bugs, and if you caught your dad spying on you; well, it’d be a bigger risk than he’d be willing to take.” He said and I nodded stepping towards him.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I asked him more concerned with his feelings than if my father found out or not.
“Allie, I’m fine that was just a momentary lapse.” He said after wrapping his arms around me. He tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear before looking back at me.
“Well, I want to know what bothered you so much even though I think I know what it is.” I said feeling guilty and he sighed.
“Just because I’m allowing you to date Aaron because I don’t want to hurt you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t bug me. Ahnallie I love you, and I’m not used to having to share.” He said looking down into my concerned eyes.
“You don’t have to. Besides I’m only pretending; you know my heart belongs with you.” I said and he regarded me gently.
“I hope it does.” He said. I looked at him wishing I knew what I was supposed to say. The thing was he knew just as well as I knew that part of my heart did belong with Aaron.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked deciding changing the subject was the best tactic.
“Yes, ask away.”
“How come Ciaran hasn’t told on us?”
“Oh, right well some vampires like me do intensive studying, and we can learn how to replace memories. Ciaran only remembers up to the kiss, and then I made him think that you just left.”
“What?” I asked pulling out of his arms.
“I don’t know why you’re freaking out. I did it for us. It’s not like I wanted to do that to my own brother.” He said, and a few things clicked in my mind.
“So, the reason my dad chose Ciaran to be the boy I fell in love with was because of who he was in relation to you wasn’t it? He thought if he got the next best thing maybe I’d be able to fall in love with him instead.”
“Yes, and his planned would have worked if I hadn’t shown up here.” He commented.
“So why doesn’t he just kick you out of the school or fire you? If it was a made decision to meddle with my future why not keep you from coming here.” I pressed.
“Ahnallie not everyone agreed with what your father did, but by the time they found out it was too late. So, they decided to let it be, but the council isn’t unjust. They made him let me come here, and I’m allowed to stay as long as I don’t give him a real reason to fire me. They’re testing fate testing our destiny.” He said and I pursed my lips.
“I don’t believe in fate. Nothing is set in stone; it’s all affected by the decisions that are made. Wait, so if you didn’t like the way things were working why didn’t you just switch some memories around? Why didn’t you mess with my memories so I remembered you, and my father? You could make me believe whatever you want me too.” I said thoughtfully, and he shook his head disgusted by the idea.
“I wouldn’t ever meddle with your memories. It’s a dangerous process to work with someone’s brain, and when I say dangerous I mean deadly. I would never risk your life that way. Your father is constantly protected, and even if he wasn’t he’s closely watched by the council. If he suddenly had a change of heart the council would figure out that something was up, and they’d come charging in ruining everything. Just trust me when I say everything is going according to plan, and by this time next year we’ll be relaxing with your real father at our house.” He said and I smiled trying to push my unease and wariness towards him away. I loved him, and I trusted him or at least I needed too.
“Okay, I trust you, and I have to say relaxing sounds nice.” I said, and he smiled hugging
“What is it Ahnallie?” He asked me.
“How do you know when something’s wrong?” I asked him surprised at how he knew when he wasn’t looking at me.
“I can’t explain it you just physically feel different when something is bothering you, and if I can see you I can tell because you always bite your lip.” He said and I silently cursed my habit.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, now tell me what’s wrong.” He said not letting me change the subject making me groan.
“I told Aaron I’d ask if it was okay with you to tell him about my dad. I know what you’re going to say, but I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t ask.” I admitted.
“How did you get to that subject?” He asked and I shrugged.
“I don’t know he said he could tell something was bugging me, and I told him I couldn’t tell him. Isn’t the issue that he asked more important?”
“No, you know what the answer is. There is no way in hell I’d trust him with that kind of information. Besides I’m more worried about the fact that he knew something was up.” He said and I couldn’t help, but pout at him telling me no. I knew it would be stupid to tell Aaron, but I wanted to a little bit.
“Yeah I know.”
“Were you seriously considering telling him?” He asked me surprised and I shrugged.
“I know it’d be stupid to tell him.” I said and he stood up getting off the bed.
“But you love him, and hate not telling him everything.” He finished for me and I shook my head sitting on my knees on the bed.
“No that’s not it at all. Adrian don’t be mad; don’t leave like this.” I begged trying not to cry as he walked towards the window.
“How can I not be mad? What other explanation is there?” He demanded, and I opened my mouth begging for words to come out. “Exactly.” He muttered opening the window, and I ran over to him standing in front of the window.
“Don’t be mad at me.” Was the only thing I could manage to say with tears stinging my eyes, and he looked at me sympathy and guilt shining through the anger and pain that clouded his eyes.
“Ahnallie I really wish I could just forgive you, but I can’t. I feel like I’m being played a fool. Maybe I took too long, and it’s just too late.” He said gently nudging me to the side, and I grabbed his arm.
“No, no it’s not. Please let me explain. Just stay a little longer.” I begged him, and he easily took his arm out of my hands.
“Explain what exactly? You can’t explain when I know the answer. Are you going to try to lie to me? Tell me what you think I want to hear?” He asked me bitterly and I felt my lips quiver as a sob threatened to overtake me.
“No; I couldn’t if I wanted too. Adrian please.” I said being overtaken by sadness. “Please.” I begged tears finally sliding down my face.
“You keep saying please, but what’s going to happen if I stay. What more can you say?” He asked me and I hung my head looking at the ground as tears fell to the floor.
“I just don’t want to lose you. I’ll break up with Aaron please just don’t hate me.” I said crying even harder at the thought of Aaron’s crushed face, and suddenly Adrian swooped me up into his arms carrying me to the bed. He laid me down, and I felt his eyes on me.
“I could never hate you.” He whispered kneeling in front of my face next to the bed.
“I can’t stand the thought of you leaving angry.” I whispered looking up into his eyes but his emotions were hidden from me. That upset me even more. The fact that he was hiding what he was feeling from me drove me crazy.
“I don’t know what you expected Ahnallie.” He whispered and I shrugged.
“I wasn’t thinking; I’m sorry.” I whispered closing my eyes so the tears would stop flooding my sheets. “I wasn’t kidding if it’s going to ruin us I’ll break up with him.” I said biting my lip as a sob threatened to overwhelm me and I felt tears start up again.
“No, don’t do that.” He said brushing the tears off my face gently.
“No, I’ll do it for you. If that’s what you want.”
“Ahnallie, I can’t make you give up someone you love. I wouldn’t feel right hurting you that way. I could never do that to you.” He said quietly, and I knew it hurt him to say those words.
“What are we now? Twilight?” I asked him attempting at a joke to lighten the mood. He chuckled shaking his head.
“We are so much more than that.” He whispered standing up again.
“Wait one more thing.” I said following him to the window.
“Yes?” He asked turning to me.
“I love you.” I said stealing a kiss, but I could tell it was different. He was guarded, on edge, as he tried to control his feelings.
“I love you to, but I have to go.” He said and I nodded looking at the ground. I watched him fly into the night as a bat and I sighed shutting the window. I jumped into my bed snuffling into my pillow. I tried not to bawl out loud because I knew he could hear me through the walls. Then I realized it meant I could hear him too. I pressed my ear to the wall, but all the sounds were muffled so I tiptoed to my door opening it quietly. I knew spying was wrong, but he’d spied on me so I figured I’d get off the hook.
I walked to his door, and put my ear on it. I listened as closely as I could, and I realized he was crying. I had made poor Adrian cry. Without thinking about it I opened the door and wrapped my arms around him. He was on his bed with red eyes, and he was sniffling.
“What are you doing here Miss Faine?” He asked me, and I looked at him taking a step back.
“I heard you crying and I felt bad. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I- I’m sorry; I know it is wrong to spy on people, but I couldn’t resist.” I explained quickly.
“You cannot just walk into a teacher’s room. So if you’d please excuse yourself I’d appreciate it.” He said sternly and I looked at him confused and walked out of the room shutting the door behind me. I walked into my room sitting on the edge of my bed confused.
“Allie it’s too dangerous to just waltz into my room like that.” Adrian said walking into my room a few minutes later with a regained composure.
“I’m sorry, I know it was dumb someone could have seen me, but when I heard you crying I felt bad. Are you okay?” I asked him and he shrugged.
“It doesn’t bother me that you cared or that someone could have seen you so much as I think my room may be bugged.” Adrian explained and I nodded.
“Isn’t it just as likely my room is bugged?” I asked him and he shook his head.
“Normally you check your room for bugs, and if you caught your dad spying on you; well, it’d be a bigger risk than he’d be willing to take.” He said and I nodded stepping towards him.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I asked him more concerned with his feelings than if my father found out or not.
“Allie, I’m fine that was just a momentary lapse.” He said after wrapping his arms around me. He tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear before looking back at me.
“Well, I want to know what bothered you so much even though I think I know what it is.” I said feeling guilty and he sighed.
“Just because I’m allowing you to date Aaron because I don’t want to hurt you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t bug me. Ahnallie I love you, and I’m not used to having to share.” He said looking down into my concerned eyes.
“You don’t have to. Besides I’m only pretending; you know my heart belongs with you.” I said and he regarded me gently.
“I hope it does.” He said. I looked at him wishing I knew what I was supposed to say. The thing was he knew just as well as I knew that part of my heart did belong with Aaron.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked deciding changing the subject was the best tactic.
“Yes, ask away.”
“How come Ciaran hasn’t told on us?”
“Oh, right well some vampires like me do intensive studying, and we can learn how to replace memories. Ciaran only remembers up to the kiss, and then I made him think that you just left.”
“What?” I asked pulling out of his arms.
“I don’t know why you’re freaking out. I did it for us. It’s not like I wanted to do that to my own brother.” He said, and a few things clicked in my mind.
“So, the reason my dad chose Ciaran to be the boy I fell in love with was because of who he was in relation to you wasn’t it? He thought if he got the next best thing maybe I’d be able to fall in love with him instead.”
“Yes, and his planned would have worked if I hadn’t shown up here.” He commented.
“So why doesn’t he just kick you out of the school or fire you? If it was a made decision to meddle with my future why not keep you from coming here.” I pressed.
“Ahnallie not everyone agreed with what your father did, but by the time they found out it was too late. So, they decided to let it be, but the council isn’t unjust. They made him let me come here, and I’m allowed to stay as long as I don’t give him a real reason to fire me. They’re testing fate testing our destiny.” He said and I pursed my lips.
“I don’t believe in fate. Nothing is set in stone; it’s all affected by the decisions that are made. Wait, so if you didn’t like the way things were working why didn’t you just switch some memories around? Why didn’t you mess with my memories so I remembered you, and my father? You could make me believe whatever you want me too.” I said thoughtfully, and he shook his head disgusted by the idea.
“I wouldn’t ever meddle with your memories. It’s a dangerous process to work with someone’s brain, and when I say dangerous I mean deadly. I would never risk your life that way. Your father is constantly protected, and even if he wasn’t he’s closely watched by the council. If he suddenly had a change of heart the council would figure out that something was up, and they’d come charging in ruining everything. Just trust me when I say everything is going according to plan, and by this time next year we’ll be relaxing with your real father at our house.” He said and I smiled trying to push my unease and wariness towards him away. I loved him, and I trusted him or at least I needed too.
“Okay, I trust you, and I have to say relaxing sounds nice.” I said, and he smiled hugging
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