A Howl In The Night by Lorelei Sutton (life books to read .txt) 📕

I don’t know why I find his sleepy expression so cute, and I don’t plan on finding out at the moment.

“We need to talk.”

At this, Xavier’s head snaps up and he shakes himself out of sleep. He blinks a few times, and then gives me his full, undivided attention. I feel strangely pressured by his stare, like I don’t want to disappoint him after I just woke him up during our precious nap time. “Is it about you apologizing for flirting with Griffin and Ray every single second of the day? Because you’re going to have to do much more than drag me out here in the middle of the night for me to forgive you.” He snaps a little bit, obviously just a little bit grumpy.

“Flirt? What in the-“

“Don’t even try to deny it. You were doing that on purpose to make me angry.” Xavier’s cheeks color a little bit, his eyebrows tilted in annoyance. Although disconcerted myself, I watch his expressions with interest.

“All I wanted… was to avoid you,” I say softly, eyes downcast. At this Xavier’s eyes widen, and then a bitterness enters his features.

“So…” He slowly states, “What changed?”

A silence stretches between us as I try to figure out how to phrase my next words. I soon give up, unable to make much coherent sense. “I don’t understand,” I choke, sliding down the tree onto the ground. “I just don’t get it.”

When I look up from my hands, Xavier is right there, gazing into my soul with those eyes of his. “You don’t get what?” He asks me gently. His hand brushes against my own, bringing warmth and comfort along with it.

I hastily try to regain my composure. “You should be the same as them, Xavier. You really should be nothing more to me than the means to an end.”

“As them? You mean Griffin and the other guys here?”

“Yes. You were one of the pack back at home, the man who saved my life and made me feel both irritated and comfortable, often at the same time. But that doesn’t explain all of the strange feelings I have been having since we have gotten here towards you, and I just don’t understand what happened.”

Xavier just stares at me, as if silently processing my words. “So you feel attracted to me, but you don’t get why you feel it towards me and no one else.”

“Right.” My expression brightens a bit. Maybe he gets it. Maybe he can help me get out of this mess, or just talk some sense into my stupid heart.

He thinks for a while, and I watch the skies shift into a deep navy blue, with a soft, muted white orb crossing the horizon. Hope blossoms in my chest in the prospect of relieving this curse of mine. And even if nothing happens, it’s great that I don’t have to pretend anything anymore. I can finally get this out of the way so that I can look towards a hopefully brighter future.

“This is not what I imagined,” Xavier says finally, sighing reluctantly. “Although I had a clue when you kissed me the other night that you were searching for something.”

I blush, about as red as a tomato. “Are you toying with me?” I ask, my voice uncannily high. My blush deepens at this, embarrassing me even more. I look away in shame. I… knew this was a bad idea.

But then I feel a hand on my chin, lifting my face with effortless grace. When I see him again, he is right in front of me, much closer than before. “Mona…” he says in a low, husky voice, his breath dancing on my cheeks. “I’ll give you what you want.” His pupils look dilated, infused with desire. My pulse quickens as I watch his other hand head towards my cheek, and then travel down to the nape of my neck. “But you have to promise me something.”

“W-what?” I ask as Xavier’s face looms ever closer. His eyelashes are almost brushing my cheeks, and his hands are filling me with both incredible warmth and insatiable desire.

“You must… promise to surrender yourself to me. Entirely.” He says this with such temptation, each word melting like honey from his lips. “If you don’t do this, then you must leave now… while you still can.”

My heart nearly bursts out of my chest. Surrender? There is something about the word that is so sensuous, exploiting my senses and overturning my defenses until I am only a puddle onto the ground. Under normal circumstances I would never stand for it. I would abhor the word, and if it were an object I would throw it on the ground and stomp on it with my feet. I like to think I am a strong person, who is independent and can think for myself, and to surrender is to become subject to another’s will. It is an impossible request. My pride would never…

His lips brush against my forehead, trailing down my nose with breathtaking passion. “I want you to be mine,” He whispers, drawing back to look me in the eye. “Just say the word.” He waits for me, watching my reaction.

Completely under his spell, I murmur, “yes.” It is as if I am helpless to my own selfish cravings, a slave to the passion I wasn’t even supposed to have in the first place.

Instantly after my response our lips meet with furious desire, and Xavier takes his hands away from my face only to grab my arms and push me roughly against the forest floor.

It is at these moments when I realize just how powerless I really am.

“Say my name, Mona,” he whispers forcefully in between kisses, nibbling at my earlobe and then bringing his lips towards my collarbone. “Yearn for me.” Our breathing is heavy, even frantic as we scramble to fulfill each other’s passions.

My lips are covered again, and I drown in ecstasy.

I have no thoughts. I am experiencing a feeling—probably—but it is too hard for me to even describe, stretching beyond both words and expressions.

Xavier is kissing me, and I never thought it would ever feel quite this…. good.

Good is a pretty overused term, used to explain tons of different emotions and is placed in many contexts, but in this case the word should be taken as a mere placeholder for a reality so undefinable that I wish it would last forever. Something so strange and beautiful loses its impact through communication, which goes for many things, and can only be delivered through experience.

It is almost like the one time when I was a little girl, and my parents took me to the beach for the first and last time in my life. I remember standing there, my feet sinking into the pure white sand, in awe of the magnificence surrounding me. I could taste the hint of salt on my tongue, the wind caressing my tiny body. The sun would cast its glow upon me, making me feel like an angel bathed in holy light. And the water felt so cold, so refreshing, that I just wanted to simply dissolve and become nothing, emptying my mind so I could be immersed in the beauty. So I could etch that moment into my memory, and never forget it for the rest of my life.

In many ways, this moment resembles my other inexplicable experiences, but in other ways it takes me beyond a mere wish or desire. Yes, it feels wonderful, unlike a kiss ever should, but the urgency of my emotions shock me more than anything else. I am in a frenzy, willing to do anything to keep intensifying the experience (for lack of a better term). There is more to my life that I must consider, but strangely all of those considerations have flown away. It is like nothing matters anymore, except for this.

There’s some sense of nostalgia that comes with this as well, something that bothered me last time I kissed him. It feels so real, but it is almost ethereal as well, like we are not only connected through our lips both through our souls as well.  And even though it should be, it isn’t a new feeling at all. I get a small sense of it every time I look at him, every moment that he enters my thoughts. It just makes me wonder where on earth it is coming from.

The only thing that makes sense is that there might be some truth to the words of my companions concerning Xavier and I’s past relationship. That my memory was wiped, along with strange markings that should be on my body. That everything I believe about myself during this time has been a lie, and I’m actually a big softie with a hard shell. I don’t want to believe that Xavier is mine…or do I? Even now, the thought causes butterflies in my stomach, and I let out an involuntary moan.

“Shh,”Xavier whispers in a low, husky voice. “Do you want the rest of them to hear you?”My eyes open, and I stare at him, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. “Don’t…look at me like that,”he says softly, leaning in and kissing my brow bone.

His lips touch my eyelids, trailing down my nose and cheeks. I can’t help but wonder, as I look at his face, what he could possibly be thinking. He seems so calm and measured, tearing my defenses with accuracy and not wasting a singly movement. Has he ever lost himself? I find myself wanting to know the answer more than anything else.

A warmth touches my lips, and I feel my bottom lip being gently bitten as he teases my mouth open. As soon as I do so, his tongue pushes in, and I am taken with surprise. So there is more to everything…and I want it all.

This should be really gross. I would never imagine a guy’s tongue in my mouth a day ago, or even a week ago. In the logical side of my brain, it’s all just really weird. Tongues are for eating and communicating. Mouths in general are for eating and communicating. Those human body parts have no other use, and should only be used in those given purposes. But now the sun has set, and the brightness of the moon has risen over the dark landscape. It is a new world out there, one full of mystery and enigmas with neither sense nor reason.

His face leaves mine, a hairsbreadth away from my lips, and his eyes flick upwards towards mine. We look at each other, and he smirks slightly. A flicker of annoyance flashes through my thoughts, but he kisses me before I can think of anything else.

“You…”he murmurs as we take a second to breathe. You know, because I haven’t done that in quite a while. He straightens from where he was leaning over me, some strange expression on his face. I sit up as well, an uneasiness in my heart.

“Xavier?”

“Tommorow,”he says roughly, turning his head away. “We can continue tomorrow.”

“What are you saying?”I ask him, my voice uncannily high. This is not how things are supposed to work.

“You’re mine, and I can do