Less than Perfect by S. J. Evans (love letters to the dead txt) 📕

To break me down until there was nothing left inside. And he did just that.
“He enjoyed how I begged with him not to do it; I could tell that much from the look in his eyes, the glint he got when he glanced between Clara and me, tossing threats into the space between us as we both cried for each other. He didn’t hesitate long before he tore Clara apart, abusing her in ways I wished she’d never had to experience and I’d never had to witness. And then,”—His voice cracked—“he took her away from me too.”
Feeling him shudder around her, Skye squeezed Jules’s hand and whimpered, blinking through tears. She could barely breathe, too horrified by the truth, and lost in Jules’s agony that she felt seeping into her soul to stand a chance at catching a breath. He’d witnessed two brutal, horrifying murders when he was only sixteen, two murders he somehow blamed himself for, and in the process, he’d lost two people he cared for deeply. Never could she have imagined that being Jules’s deep, dark secret.
Jules had made mistakes, gotten involved with the wrong things, and yet, he was such a kind, fruitful spirit. He was no monster. No liar. No Murderer. He’d been a confused, hurting boy, torn in all sorts of troubling directions, but that didn’t mean he was a terrible person, or someone capable of terrible things. He’d simply made mistakes. No matter how big or small they were, that’s all they were.
And the fact that he’d come from such a dark past and had turned into such a light spirit was enough to give her hope. Hope for a better future. Hope for a future filled with him, and his warm, precious heart.
“Are you okay?” she asked, finding her voice. “I’m so, so sorry, Jules. I can’t believe you had to go through all of that, witness all of that. I wish I hadn’t ever brought any of this up. I never wanted to bring back pain.”
He laughed a harsh, gurgled sound that resembled nothing of the pleasant sort. But then quickly caught his breath and sighed, knotting his fingers in her hair gently. “It’s okay, Skye,” he whispered then, and kissed her head. “I needed to tell you. I wanted you to understand why it’s so hard for me to get close to you. I just—I don’t want to get close to you and then realize too late that I’m going to lose you. I don’t want to hurt you like I hurt Clara, or James, or my dad. I just want to protect you, love you, be with you as long as I possibly can, and never let you go. But I’m so afraid. I’m so afraid that something will happen, and you’ll end up hurt, all because of me. Because of the monster I have inside of me somewhere.”
“I do understand.” She swallowed a sob. “But I also promise you—promise you

, Jules—that you’re not going to lose me. I’m going to be with you as long as I possibly can, and I’m not going to leave you. I promise. So please

don’t be so worried, so afraid, because I’m sure that you are the greatest and kindest person I’ve ever met. You’re no

monster. No liar, or criminal, or murderer. You’re my sweet, beautiful boyfriend, the boy I’m madly in love with, and nothing can change that. Nothing can tear us apart.”
“I love you, Skye Montgomery,” he whispered, pulling her up into his lap. He pulled her face towards his, wiped a stray tear off her cheek, and kissed away the dried tears, holding onto her with as much cautious strength as he could. “I want to be with you, and I’ll never push you away again, never let you go like that. After all, you mean everything

to me now, and whatever happened in the past won’t matter anymore. All that matters to me is you. You’re more important.”
“Julian Rane, thank you for coming into my life and saving me,” Skye said, wrapping her hands around his neck, her fingers running through his hair. “You’re my hero. You’re a survivor. And you’re most definitely a keeper.” She leaned her forehead against his, breathing heavy. “Just say the words and I’m all yours, forever and always.”
He smiled, tugging on her bottom lip as she leaned in to kiss him, and breathed, “Be with me, Skye, forever and always.” And before she had time to respond, he tangled his fingers through her hair, pulled her down on top of him, and kissed her like he’d never kissed her before, holding on to her for dear life.
***
WHAT HAPPENED TO Dave and the gang?” Skye asked as she lay beneath Jules, gazing at his flushed face. “Did the police catch them for what they had done? And after everything that had happened, how did you escape?”
A faraway look crossed his face for a moment before he gathered her hair in his hands and gently guided her up towards his face, leaning in. “They got what they had coming for them: life in prison.” He caressed her cheek, gazing intently into her eyes. “And as far as my escape was concerned, they let me go. They didn’t have the guts to kill me, too; even though at the time, I’d begged them to do it.”
She caught herself before a gasp could spring from her mouth, biting her lip. “You begged them to take your life?”
He averted his gaze. “Yes.” His voice barely went above a whisper. “I couldn’t bear the loss I’d suffered, and thought I wanted to die, to give up. It wasn’t until I came back here that I realized I was wrong.” He tried to smile, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “It wasn’t until I found you

that I realized how much I wanted to live

.”
She closed her eyes and inhaled, breathing in his scent. He was so close, the feel of his body above her stimulating her senses, the breath on her face sending chills along her arms, everything about their close proximity warming her to the core. “I’m glad you came back, Jules.” She pushed herself on her elbows, drawing even closer to him. “I’d be so lost without you.”
He murmured something in response, but it was lost in communication when he nuzzled his face in her neck, leaving small kisses on her tender skin. “Want to go somewhere with me?”
Skye’s heart leaped. “W-what?” she spluttered. “Now?”
“Yes, now.” He pushed himself upright, straddling her waist. “Or tomorrow. Or whenever you’d like.” He pulled her hand in his, placed a kiss on her knuckles. “Please just come away with me. We can get away from this town and all of the troubles inside it. At least for a little while.”
Despite herself, she shook her head. “We can’t.” She sighed mentally. “I mean—not yet. I can’t leave Leah right now. She needs me.”
His hopeful expression faltered, replaced by a quivering half smile. “Are you sure? I have a feeling Leah will understand. She trusts me, you know. She trusts me to keep you safe.”
“I know.” She sighed, feeling the tug in her heart, tempting her to give in, take a chance, and leave town. But she still couldn’t bring herself to do it. “It’s just not the right time now, Jules. We can’t.”
“You’re right,” he said, “it’s not. Maybe we can wait awhile, until you’re ready.”
“That sounds great.” A smile graced her lips. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you, Trouble,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck again. “Anything.” His fingers tangled through her hair as he breathed her in, his heartbeat thumping against hers. Gingerly he pulled her face towards his, kissed her forehead, and breathed out one long, steady breath. “Skye?”
“Yes?” she whispered, out of breath from the sweetness of his touch. “What is it?”
“There’s something you should know about Victor, before you let him get too close to you again.”
At the mere mention of Victor’s name, her entire body went rigid. Her stomach lurched, heartbeat sped. During the short time she’d interacted with him, she could tell something was a little off with him. She hadn’t been able to put a finger on what it was, but she was starting to have an idea—and it made her very uneasy inside.
Swallowing her fear, she croaked, “What?”
Jules moved off her, pulling her into a sitting position with him. “He’s very . . . possessive

when he falls for someone. I’ve seen him lose himself over a girl before, and it wasn’t a pretty picture. He went to great lengths just to be around her as much as possible, and eventually it all became too much for her, she rejected him, and he shut down.” He grasped her hands, stopping them from their erratic shaking. “He tried to get her back a few times, convinced that they were meant to be together somehow, but didn’t succeed. And he didn’t move on until about a year later.”
He gave her hands a reassuring squeeze and pressed his forehead against hers. “I’m not saying he’s going to be like that with you, but I have a bad feeling about him, so just be careful. Please.” He ran his finger along the side of her face. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Especially not you.”
Trying to take everything in, she closed her eyes, took deep breaths, and pressed herself into Jules for support. She tried to convince herself that because Jules was with her, looking over her, she had nothing to worry about. He was all that mattered.
But it was easier said than done, and part of her couldn’t forget about the two major complications in her life at that moment: Johnny and Victor. She had no idea how things were going to turn out in the end; she could only hope that she would make it out unscathed.
Clutching Jules’s shirt in her hands, she whispered, “I’ll be careful. I promise.” Her stomach was tangled in knots, and her head felt much too crowded, but she tried to ignore it all, mentally prying herself away.
“Great.” He let out a relieved breath. “I was worried you’d try to defend him or something. I don’t know why, but I get this feeling that he’s trying to step in between us. It’s odd, but hard to ignore.”
“I agree,” she croaked through her dry throat, swallowing hard on the bile that threatened to come up at the topic of discussion. “Something is really off with him. And as much as I hope what you just told me is not it, I wouldn’t put it all passed him.”
“Definitely not. But hey”—he brought