Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

Alana

       Gabriel stared at the rusty old dashboard of his truck, while I continued to stare at his face.His words kept haunting me for a couple of seconds.

Rowan's friend? Gabriel was Rowan's childhood friend?

I found my voice after a while, "You met him that other day in the hospital, didn't you? Does Rowan know it's you?"

That's when Gabriel looked me dead in the eye. There was something else concealed behind those edgy green orbs that I couldn't quite put my finger on. "I thought it was a mere coincidence when you told me about him while working at the restaurant, but the odds of another Rowan Masters walking into my life seemed slim at the time but guess I was wrong. I only went assuming this was a different man and my theories just got blown out of the window when I saw him in the hospital. I can't begin to tell you how shocked I was, Alana."

His fingers still clenched mine, the grip being too harsh sucked the life out of my poor hands. Maybe I'd survive with a few broken bones if not so lucky. 

I nodded and urged him to go on. Gabriel continued, not very conscious of my discomfort. "We weren't in touch for sixteen years. I had no idea where Rowan was or what he was doing until you told me about him. There was this thing in the back of my mind constantly telling me it wasn't a co-incidence. It was a part of the reason I insisted on coming with you to the hospital. I wanted to be sure."

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked him.

"Nothing." Gabriel shook his head. "Whatever you do, just don't tell him about me. I want to be the person to talk to him about this. Maybe he'd be surprised; maybe he would want nothing to do with me. I can handle."

I searched for the sincerity in his eyes. "It's not your fault."

Gabriel seemed surprised with the fact that his mind was transparent enough for me to see. "Alana, I..." his voice trailed off as he rubbed his palms together. "I thought Rowan would change but clearly, he hasn't. I'm a part of the reason he has become like this. He left school because of me, and it kills me right now to see where standing up for me has led him."

"I still don't see how any of it is your fault." I said.

"When you first started dating, did you know what you were getting yourself into?"

Now, I'd heard exactly the same question being asked to me several times but framed in different ways. Maybe it was time for me to update an Alana's biography of her screwed up life blog with a tab on top that said FAQ. Then, everyone could just drop in a question so I wouldn't have to answer to them individually. I'd even make Chez the president of the blog.

"No, but I wouldn't take anything back for the world, though given a chance I would like to correct the mistakes I made because there were decisions I took on a whim which resulted very badly." I'd meant every word I'd said. Somewhere down the road, I felt responsible for Rowan, one way or another.

"I don't think anybody wants to be a part of the darkness Rowan lives in." Gabriel was also included in that list of 'anybodies', not that he'd admit. He continued. "You're the first."

After a long pause, he asked, "Can you promise me to keep it a secret?"

"Sure. If that's what you want."

"Alana, will you give me an honest answer if I asked you another question?" Gabriel sounded hopeful. It was time for me to worry because whatever this question was, it sure wasn't going to be pretty. I tried to act less panicky as I gave a nod of approval.

"If Rowan hadn't been in your life, would you have given me a chance?" his voice came off barely audible, so soft that I had to strain my ears to listen.

"Yes." I was trying for a diplomatic answer but failed miserably.

A watched a sigh of relief cross his face. Gabriel did not push the topic any further then that probably because he knew he was walking a thin line. We talked some more, mostly about his future plans and other trivial things. He kept straightening his faded blue t-shirt occasionally, one that I had seen him wear on more than a few occasions. I hadn't a clue how weak he had become, financially. This was a serious problem.

The truck was an automobile skeleton rolling on wheels. If this guy couldn't afford the mega t-shirt sales on Saturdays, how the heck was he going to get the car fixed? If I offered to help, he wouldn't think twice before turning me down politely so I had to thread through the situation carefully.

"Are you going to sell your truck?" I asked him casually.

"I want to but it's not like I'm gonna make much though, but it's still better than nothing." He answered, running his fingers over the wheel instinctively.

"I think I know someone who would be a willing buyer. Chez's friend is into these old models, he'll probably pay you more then what you're expecting."

"That would be great, Alana." I watched a spark pass though his jaded orbs. "I have the papers and everything here."

"I'll talk to Chez first and have his friend call you." Now, it all came down to Chez, I could already imagine the scenario, Chez bellowing at the top of his lungs 'Are you crazy, Alana? That is a junk of a truck! I ain't letting you buy that shit.' I swallowed.

I hopped out of the truck and watched the truck speed away in the darkness. I couldn't forget the joy and the excitement I saw on his face.

***

Rowan

    I could hardly recall the last time I had taken anyone's advice or even considered it, not even Alana, much less a doctor but here I was walking on the treadmill, burning off some calories. Not that I needed exercise, but the idea of breaking into a group of mild crazies and introducing myself with a 'Howdy' did not appeal to me as much. Interaction according to Sofia was important, she'd told me the best way of approach was to start off with a conversation. She hadn't mentioned how or who I was supposed to initiate it with. I choose the institution gym and Karl Hansen.