Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

Rowan

      "Cat caught your tongue, Mr. Masters?" Alana said, sarcasm dripping her voice.

       She was the same. Fierce and strong as ever.

      "Kind of hard to think of anything to say when you're all dolled up looking like a movie star."

   "Oh, Stop it!"

   "Stop what, Miss Hayes?"

   "Flattery isn't going to get you out of this situation." For the first time she gave me that heartwarming smile. 

    "Well, it sure made you smile." She laughed  and I thought my heart skipped like a little girl in a meadow full of flowers. She still had that impact on me. I loved her. A lot.

    Suddenly, her laughter disappeared and there were fresh tears in the corner of her eyes.

    The world around me seemed to have disappeared because I saw only her and it pained me to think that she had traveled all the way just to see me even though I'd been against and had acted like a douchebag. Alana did things to me that I never thought I would ever allow anyone to.

    I grabbed both her hands in mine. "Why are you crying, baby?"

   "I'm so happy to see you." Her lower lip quickened. "This is all my fault. If I had been a little more supporting...you would never have..."

    "Hey....hey. Don't blame yourself, Alana" I wiped her tears with my thumb. "This is no one's fault. I ended up doing this because I wasn't thinking straight. I'm still not stable."

    She hugged me tighter like I would disappear if she let me go. I breathed in her familiar scent of peaches and something else I couldn't put my finger on. "I love you so much." She whispered.

    "I love you too, baby." I whispered back.

     I led Alana to the sitting area. We settled down on a leather couch, Alana wasn't letting go of my hand.

    "You look beautiful, but you've lost some weight. Haven't you been eating well?" I asked her.

     "I guess I was just tensed for a couple weeks, you know, with everything happening." She said. 

     "I'm sorry, baby."

     She shook her head. "Can I visit you again tomorrow?"

     Alana looked hopeful and I didn't want to disappoint her. "Of course, you can. How long are you planning on staying in Denmark?"

     "I can't stay long. I'll be going back on Monday. So, I just have the weekend." She said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

      So we only had tomorrow together.

      Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea.

     "Where are you staying?" I asked.

      "It's a hostel, not that far from here. Probably fifteen minutes away."

      "That's great, Baby. I'm not sure how you are able to afford this, but, I'll arrange to have your ticket and your hostel paid." I assured her, and expected to smile in return, but she scowled at me.

      "I don't like this, Rowan!" she pulled her hand away from mine.

       I didn't like having to lose her touch.

      "What are you talking about?"

      "Why do you always treat me like a child? I'm not Minnie!" she was on the verge to yell at me, but somehow toned down her volume when she realized there were people around. "I had savings from when I worked at the restaurant and the ticket was an advance birthday gift from Chez and Nina."

     I was speechless for a moment.

    "Baby, they are students. Chez and Nina have college in future, how could they afford to pay for it? I'm very touched by their gesture, but I can't allow them to pay for something that I could have covered easily."

   Alana threw her hands up in frustration. "Covered easily? How much will you lie to me, Rowan? I know that your father is paying for the rehabilitation and you promised him to pay back when you're out of this place."

   Once again, I was overcome with shame. I'd failed as a teacher, a boyfriend and now as an adult. I covered my face with my hands. Alana knew that I was knee deep on the verge of bankruptcy.

    "I'm sorry, Rowan, I didn't mean to say that."

    "It's okay, Alana. You're right. I'm not doing that well, financially. And it's part of the reason I couldn't come to meet you."

    "So just let this go, okay? They did it for me. And you're just going to hurt their feelings if you offer to pay for it." She smiled again, and I didn't want to upset her again.

    "Yeah. I understand." I took her hand in mine again and kissed it.

    We talked some more, mostly I listened to her speak. I liked the sound of her voice and it felt peaceful to hear her talk about herself and how she spent her time while I was gone. She mentioned that Dwight had been nice to her and took her out almost every weekend, be it the beach, park or the aquarium. Envy sunk its claws into my brain, I felt envious that I wasn't part of it. From the looks of Dwight and her had gotten pretty close. Closer than what I liked.

    "Can I kiss you?" Alana asked me out of the blue.

     "Why, baby? Can't you wait until tomorrow, when we are all alone?" I whispered.

     "Just one kiss. No one would notice." She whispered back moving closer.

     I chuckled glancing around to see if anyone would care to notice. "I don't think a quick peck would be a problem."

     I leaned in and she claimed my lips. I kissed her only briefly, tasting her sweet lip-gloss and pulled away when our tongues almost touched. I couldn't go on knowing that I needed to keep my emotions in check.

       "So, how is it like here? Do you have any friends?"

      "I do. Would you like to meet them?" I asked.

     The next few minutes passed by in fast introductions, Hansen was glad to see Alana, but by the look on his face, I think he hadn't imagined her to be so young. Sometimes, I wondered if I'd been right to burden Alana with myself. All of this was a lot to handle for a eighteen year old because she deserved better and not a boyfriend with a history of alcohol and drug abuse. She deserved someone safe. Probably someone who was the same age as her, a guy who could take her out to movies and cute dates. I should have been the least of her worries, but I had failed her.