Apocalypse Before Finals by Julie Steimle (electric book reader txt) 📕

My suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.  - J.B.S. Haldane -

It was a good thing February was such a short month. Enduring in-school suspension had been too much for Jeff Streigle... so much that he had promised all, including and especially the vice-principal of Pennington High School, that he would not cut class for the rest of the semester. The eighteen-year-old senior declared that he had learned his lesson and he would be a good boy for the rest of the year.

His sarcasm wasn't missed one iota, even though he was also telling the truth.  

Freed, Jeff crossed the campus from the administration hall to the cafeteria, ignoring the turning heads and staring eyes. Pale as death, his midnight black hair was in an old 80's skater cut, short in the back and on the sides with long hanging bangs that concealed half his fathomless blue eyes much of time. But his most prominent feature was the scar across his right cheek which connected to the break in his nose. One glance at him and you were either intimidated or intrigued. Often both. Everyone believed he had once been in a Chicago gang.

After quickly buying lunch, Jeff continued out to the redtop - the red-painted asphalt area between the gym and the senior lawn sorted with picnic tables - where he hoped his friends were waiting. It had been a long time since he had last hung out with them at school.

"Hey! Welcome back!" Brian Henderson jumped up from his seat at their corner picnic table, quickly joined by his other buddies, Jonathan Baker, Mark Wheley, and Adam Arbor. They all surrounded Jeff with wrestling hugs, nearly strangling him to the ground before dragging him back toward the picnic table. And their classmates watched with a degree of envy. They were the weirdest, most fun group to hang around at school. And if they accepted you, then you were considered the coolest of cool - because they didn't like jerks, generally.

Thing was, most people described their group of guys a bit like one of those religious/racial jokes that no one admitted was funny. You see, Brian was this tan, all-American kind of boy whom very few disliked - except for the fact that he was Mormon. Jonathan was Jewish with uncommonly dark hair and a playful smile. And Mark was of sturdy Germanic Lutheran stock. As for fair-haired Adam, he was a professed Agnostic. And for some reason they got along swimmingly.

No one could quite put a punch line to the joke, as Jeff didn't quite fit in the joke equation as a former Chicago 'thug'. Besides, these boys were not the only ones who hung out at the redtop at that table. For starters, the boys had their token gal pal who was a drop-dead gorgeous blonde and a cheerleader...with a really weird name, as she was a foreigner.

Zormna Clendar.

Zormna was patiently sitting at the table, her dark green eyes watching Jeff as his buddies exuberantly welcomed him back. She brushed her fiery blonde hair away from her face, her dimples digging in her cheeks as she smiled at Jonathan putting Jeff in a headlock, demanding for details. She knew Jeff was going to eventually join them all and then regale them with stories of in-school suspension - of which she also already knew plenty about. She also had been in afterschool detention for the very same reason Jeff had been in in-school suspension. They had ditched school together for a week.

The thing about Zormna was that she was not a cliche.  And to sum her up in a phrase would be a mistake - though people tried it all the time. Their old friend Todd McLenna (who had graduated that last year) called Zormna Aphrodite reborn. Todd's sister and Zormna's first friend in Pennington, Jennifer McLenna, called her the Irish Ninja. Her jealous classmates called her a series of unrepeatable names, most of which were not true. And the boys who had crushes on her called her uncatchable. Her teachers called her a troubled, yet brilliant student. The school psychiatrist called her intense, paranoid, and naïve... which on the whole was a strange combination. Jeff frequently called her a pain in the neck. Oh, and Darren Asher, called her a Martian.

Or did. Once.

Darren must be mentioned. A junior at Pennington High, he was a tall, lanky, space-obsessed geek who at the moment watched Jeff from his usual place behind the tree. Though he was not a friend within the group, he was always around. Not that he liked this gang of boys. Quite the opposite. But he liked Zormna a lot. They were neighbors. And Zormna put up with him - or that was how her friends saw it. Or wanted to see it. Most did not like how Zormna had befriended the space nut in the last few months, despite how a year ago Darren was following after her saying she was an alien from outer space. Darren had stopped talking like that around the beginning of summer anyway and had gotten obsessed with the FBI instead.

Jeff ignored Darren most of the time.

Setting his sights on Zormna as he approached, Jeff smiled wider and walked with his pals back to the table straight to her as if she was the only person he wanted to be with. Which was weird, because everybody had heard the rumor that Zormna was the one who had broken his nose a few years back, and they once loathed each other. That scar on his face was her fault.

Long story.

Thing was, somehow Jeff had gotten fond of the pain the neck. They shared a silent look as Jeff sat down next to her. Everyone on campus watched with judging, leering snickers as Jeff scooted even closer to Zormna, teasing her like the closest of friends, or possibly something more - as the current names people have been calling Zormna behind her back have been: slut, whore, hooker, ho, and a few other choice phrases which she felt ought not to be spoken in polite society. They had heard these epithets before. And neither Jeff nor Zormna thought she deserved it.

"I swear Mr. Vicksler gave Zormna an easier punishment for ditching than you because he has the hots for her," Mark said, enjoying this opportunity to tease them.

Zormna punched Mark's arm, though not as hard as she could. "That's not - "

"Afterschool detention is easier," Jeff cut in, smirking.

She shook her head vehemently, pinching his arm. "No.... Well, yes - but he didn't do it like that for that particular reason is what I mean. He was trying to separate us."

But Jeff smirked at her. "So he could have a chance?"

"Shut up." She slapped his forehead, or tried to. Ducking, Jeff hastily climbed over the table to get out of her reach. His friends dodged around him, struggling to keep out of her way. The chase was not a serious one, as it really wasn't the worst she could do to Jeff...because she had been the one who had broken his nose.

Thing was, any solid guy, young or old, thought Zormna Clendar was hot. And why not? She epitomized for many what a goddess would look like if on Earth. Healthy curves, not starved and not fat - Zormna had porcelain skin, intelligent green eyes, bow-shaped lips, and a face like heaven. Some people compared her to a young Michelle Pfeiffer, only prettier. Zormna's hair was a mess of curls and waves, like a living fire. In fact, it contained all the colors of fire from gold to light yellow to orange and even strands of red. And the way she carried herself was with so much confidence that people nearby could not help but stare. On top of that, her military school upbringing had made her a huge tomboy who preferred the company of boys.

But that last year she and Jeff had been ditching school and leaving the state together. On road trips, they told their friends. Just trying to deal with the FBI, they explained. So, of course rumors spread. No one believed Zormna or Jeff when they said they had not 'hooked up' during their trips. Zormna was too beautiful and Jeff was...well, a charming punk kid. Everyone believed the cliché. They couldn't see a reason not to...even though Zormna was a famous prude and Jeff was the only guy on campus who hadn't drooled over her.

As for that thing about the FBI? They really were watching Zormna.

Currently there was a car in the parking lot where two agents were listening in to their conversation at the table. They had a bug placed in the cracks of the wood slats, masked to look like age-old chewing gum. One of their on campus operatives put it there and regularly checked to make sure it was still there, as Zormna had a habit of searching out electronic listening devices and destroying them.

Adam Arbor was just finishing a joke about what Mr. Humphries said in English that morning - something about frogs. They were reading some short stories written by Mark Twain before they would dip into Steinbeck and Victor Hugo's books. They had planned to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, but too many parents had protested, and that ended that.

Mark snorted through a laugh. He had heard enough about Mr. Humphries to believe he was lucky, despite missing out on a good joke. Jonathan chuckled.

"Is he going to make you catch up with all the class work you missed, Jeff?" Brian asked with a glance at his friend who finally got to his lunch.  

Jeff swallowed his mouthful of juice and said, "I'm already caught up. I got my homework done during in-school suspension. Mr. Humphries came in and delivered it himself, insisting I do homework."

Zormna and Adam nodded. Mr. Humphries gave heaps of homework. It was decent of him that he had given Jeff a chance to keep up.

"I think that last one was way too hard," Adam complained immediately. "I couldn't think of one thing to write about."

Zormna shrugged. "I don't know. It wasn't that bad. All we had to do was write a short story."

Brian laughed, eyeing her. "Sure, maybe easy for you. You and Jeff have been coming up with stories all year," implying the stories they told about their trips. "I had nothing to write about."

Zormna refrained from retorting and just rolled her eyes.

Maintaining a wry look, Jeff said, "Well, Mr. Humphries did say the writing assignments were going to get harder. Don't we have three major ones still left?"

Brian nodded, picking up his burrito. He held it before his mouth, not yet biting. "I think he said we had two reports on two novels to write, our pick, and one essay about some political topic that's happening in the news right now."

With a nod, Jeff scratched the side of his head. "Yeah, those two. Have you picked your books yet?"

Zormna and Adam shrugged, then peeked at one another.

"Yeah," Brian replied. "I'm doing it on Les Miserables. Since were reading the Hunchback of Notre Dame in class, I thought it would be good to do it as well." He finally took a bite and chewed. "I heard it was one of the best."

Zormna leaned in, listening. Her beautiful face contorted as she seemed genuinely daunted by the task. "I'm not sure which book to choose. I've already read so many. I'm not sure - "

Cackling at her unintended boast, Jeff shook his head, then patted her on the top of her head as if to say 'poor baby'.

Adam threw a carrot at her.

"Stop it, you," she snapped, shoving Jeff's hand off.

"Bragger." Adam chucked another carrot at her.

Brian