Planetbound by DM Arnold (best contemporary novels TXT) ๐
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- Author: DM Arnold
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โI hope Daddy doesn't figure it out, though. He has a vicious temper.โ
โSuki, you're not making sense.โ
โDon't try to deny it. You told me you and Mom desire each other.โ
โI also told you we'd never approach each other that way. We haven't.โ
โI don't believe you.โ
โSuki -- I've slept downstairs because you needed time by yourself. I'd never lie to you. How can you think Yasuko and I...โ
โI see the way she looks at you -- and how you look at her -- how she always has her hands on you...โ She pulled away from him and Nyk could see anger building in her eyes. โNo ... I'm not going to let myself be jealous.โ He slipped his arm around her again. โDon't touch me!โ She glowered at him. โHow could you, Nick? How could you with my mother?โ
โI haven't -- we haven't -- I swear, Suki.โ
โYou're lying!โ
โWhy do you think I'd lie to you?โ
โBecause of what I've become -- I'm gross and disgusting -- a horrible parent. You'd say anything not to upset me.โ
โSuki, this is ludicrous. I can't believe you're jealous of something you imagine I did.โ
โI'm not imagining.โ
โThen, you're hallucinating.โ
โNow, you're trying to goad me. You want me to lose it so you can call in the men in the white coats.โ She clenched her fist and glared at him.
โNo, Suki. I want you the way you were. That's why I think you should see your doctor.โ
She slapped his face. โI don't want to hear you say the word doctor again!โ
Nyk hopped off the bed. โSuki!โ
โGet out of here!โ Nyk backed up against the bedroom wall. โI said, get out!โ She grabbed the alarm clock from the nightstand and threw it in his direction. Nyk ducked, but the clock hit him above the temple. He felt his injury and saw blood on his fingers.
He opened the closet, took down a cardboard carton and removed a Floran first-aid kit. He opened it and took out a clear bottle with a dropper.
โSuch drama.โ she sneered.
โLook,โ he said and showed her the gash on his head. โI'm going to put some salve on it. He stepped into the bathroom and applied healing salve to the cut.
Nyk returned to the bedroom to replace the kit. He looked at her with tears in his eyes. โIf you can't see something's wrong ... I've turned my back on the Agency, I'm up to my neck in trouble with homeworld authorities. My transit here may incite an interplanetary colonial incident. I've left my wife, quit my job -- I've done all this for one purpose, and that's to be with you and to help you raise Nicky. You're sick, Suki -- and when you're sick, you go to the doctor to help yourself get better. If you want to get better, call for an appointment -- or I'll call for you. If you don't want to get better ... I'll talk to your folks about what we can do with Nicky. Now, I'm going to ask your mother if it's okay to use the guest room.โ He headed for the door.
โWait, Nick. Okay, make the appointment. They'll probably want to lock me up. I hope they do -- I deserve it, and it'll get me out of here.โ She flopped on the bed and sobbed.
Nyk stepped off the city bus and walked into the medical arts building. โNow, tell the doctor the truth. Tell her what you've been going through. Don't hold anything back. We all need you, Suki. I'll promise you this -- we're not going to lock you up or abandon you.โ
โWhat if she thinks I need to be locked up?โ
โI don't think you're that bad. If she thinks you could benefit from time away, we'll see what we need to do. Promise me you'll be straight with her.โ
โI promise.โ
Nyk sat beside Suki in the waiting room. He heard the nurse call her name and watched her head toward an examining room. He picked up a magazine and flipped through it. Suki returned and slapped a slip of paper onto his lap. โAnti-depressants. I hope you're happy.โ
โI'm not.โ
โShe wants to speak with you.โ
Nyk accompanied her into the doctor's private office. โMr Kane. Please sit down. I understand you and Sukiko are engaged.โ Nyk nodded. โShe's suffering from about as severe a case of post-partum depression as I can recall. Is someone at home to help care for her baby?โ
โYes. We live in the apartment above her parents' house. Her mother can help her with Nicky, and I'm working part-time. There'll be someone with her around the clock.โ
โGood. I won't bother to pass this case on to Social Services, then. I am tempted to refer her to a psychotherapist, but we'll try the anti-depressants first. โ
โWe were afraid she'd need to go to an institution.โ
โI'll be frank -- it may come to that, yet. I have had good luck with this preparation, and I'm reluctant to remove her from her support network unless there's no other way.โ
โI'm relieved to hear it.โ
โI'm speaking to you because this drug has some risk. It's rather more toxic than some other preparations, but I use it because I get the best results with it.โ
โWhat sort of risk?โ
โIt has a high overdose potential. Sukiko told me she isn't suicidal, and I believe her. Trust me -- if I thought she were, we'd be doing something else.โ
โI understand.โ
โI'm warning you to keep an eye on her and make sure she takes the medication as prescribed -- at least at first. I'm confident, after a few days, she'll realize how it's helping her and she'll be more cooperative. If she should become despondent -- well, keep watch for that, too -- and call me right away.โ
โHow long will she have to be on this?โ
โWe'll evaluate her after eight weeks. If she's doing well, we'll start stepping down the dose. There is the chance she'll need it long-term.โ
โThanks, doctor.โ She dismissed him with a nod of her head.
Nyk sat beside Suki on the bus. โIf I'm on that stuff, I can't nurse him. That'll make Mom happy -- I know she's been sneaking him formula.โ
โNone of this makes any of us happy, Suki.โ He stepped off the bus and walked with her to the house. โI spoke to your mom and she'll take care of Nicky while we give this medication a try.โ He reached the front door to the house. Nyk opened it and gestured Suki inside. โI'm going to walk to the pharmacy and get the prescription filled.โ
He headed down the street, handed the slip to the pharmacist and wandered the aisles. The druggist called him over. โThis'll make her groggy for the first couple of days, until she gets used to it.โ Nyk nodded. โYou know about the overdose potential?โ
โYes -- we'll keep an eye on her.โ
โThat'll be one hundred thirty-five dollars.โ
Nyk pulled out his wallet and saw a twenty and two singles. He removed his Agency debit card. โSee if this works.โ
The druggist ran the transaction through and Nyk signed the slip. He headed back to the apartment. Suki was lying on her back in the bedroom. He walked in holding a capsule and a glass of water. โTwice a day.โ She looked at him with narrowed eyes. โSuki, this was an expensive prescription. I had to use my Agency debit card, because I didn't have enough cash. I'm not even an Agent any more.โ
โSo, now it's about money.โ
โNo -- it's about all of us doing what we have to do for you to get better. I want you to do your part and take your medication.โ He handed her the capsule. She swallowed it with a sip of water, and then showed him her open mouth. โNow, take this as the doctor ordered. Promise?โ
โI promise. Leave me alone.โ
Nyk descended the stairs and sat on the living room sofa beside Yasuko. โWell, at least you got her to the doctor. That was more than I could do.โ
โI feel like I've been through a war.โ
Nyk stepped into the kitchen cradling Nicky in his arms. โGood morning, Grandma,โ he said.
โI have his bottle.โ Nyk sat and began feeding the baby. โHow did Sukiko do last night?โ
โThe druggist said those pills would make her groggy. It knocked her out. She slept like a log.โ
โIf she's asleep, her demons can't pester her.โ
โShe was still sleeping when I checked on her.โ
โAre you going to your lab today?โ
โYes -- I have a huge backlog of work to do. I'm sorry, Yasuko, but I promised...โ
โDo what you must, Nick. Nicky and I will be fine. He's a delight.โ She stroked the baby's hair. โI didn't have an opportunity to enjoy Sukiko when she was this small. It's like having another chance.โ
Suki walked into the kitchen in her short robe, pulled out a chair and sat. She folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them. โWell, good morning,โ Yasuko said. โI didn't expect to see you.โ
โDid you take your pill this morning?โ Nyk asked. She nodded.
โHow are you feeling?โ Yasuko inquired.
โSo sleepy.โ
Nyk touched Suki's back. โI'm going to the lab. See you tonight.โ He bent and kissed the top of her head.
โDon't kiss my hair, it's so disgusting.โ
He headed to the front door, opened it and looked around at the pedestrians on the sidewalk. The two men he had seen earlier were nowhere in sight. Nyk headed down the steps to the street, locking the front door behind him.
Nyk opened the front door with his key. โIt's Nick, Yasuko.โ
โNick, come in. We're having dinner in the kitchen tonight since it's only you and me.โ
โWhere's George?โ
โHe's entertaining clients.โ
โHow's Suki doing?โ
โShe spent the day in bed, sleeping.โ Nyk sat to a bowl of rice and another of a clear broth and vegetables. He picked up a pair of chopsticks. โHow did you become so fond of Japanese food, Nick? I don't know too many westerners who enjoy it.โ
โMaybe I have Japanese roots -- way back.โ Nyk finished his meal. โI'll see how Suki's feeling.โ
โTake this tray to her.โ
Nyk grasped the bamboo and lacquer tray and carried it up the stairs. Suki was asleep on the bed. He nudged her. โSuki ... korlyta?โ She cracked her eyes open. โWould you like some dinner?โ
She hoisted herself into a sitting position and Nyk set the tray on her lap. She picked up the chopsticks and ate a clump of rice. A tear ran down her face and she brushed it away. โThis is such a simple pleasure. Oh, Nick! I'm such a mess.โ
โIt's time for your medication.โ
โNo, not another pill. They make me feel so odd.โ
โThe doctor said you'll get used to them.โ He opened the pill bottle and shook out a capsule. โHere.โ
She hesitated and swallowed the pill. โI'm done with dinner.โ Nyk picked up the tray and Suki rolled onto her side.
He carried the tray to Yasuko. โWell?โ
โIt's not a miracle drug, that's for sure,โ he replied and picked Nicky out of the infant seat. He carried the boy into the living room and sat cradling him. โHe needs the contact.โ
Yasuko sat beside him and took his hand. โMy daughter is so fortunate. How you care for him -- how you care for her. Where did you get such patience?โ
Nyk stroked Nicky's hair and the baby smiled at him. โHe wants interaction, now. He wants to learn.โ Yasuko handed the baby a toy -- a set of colored plastic disks on a ring. Nicky attempted to put the ring into his mouth. โHe has Suki's color -- and her dark, dark eyes. I can see her features in his face already.โ Nicky became drowsy. โI'll change him and put him down. Does he get you up at night?โ
โIt's all right -- I'm a light sleeper. He's been good the past few days.โ
Nyk stepped from the guest room. โHe's down and asleep. I read a book to him. My reading would put anyone to sleep. Good night, Yasuko.โ She stepped to him and embraced him. Nyk kissed the top of her head and headed up the stairs.
Suki was curled up on the sofa. He undressed and turned down the bedcovers. Then, he scooped her from the sofa and carried her into the bedroom. She slipped off her robe. He helped her into bed and lay beside her. โOh, Nick ... I am trying. I'm making an effort.โ
He stroked her face. โI know you are. Do you think the pills are helping?โ
โThey're helping eliminate my sleep deficit,โ she said and smiled. โI'm building a sleep surplus.โ
โThey must be helping. I haven't seen you smile in weeks.โ
โNick, I was looking at the crest today. I was thinking about what you said -- how it'll be passed from generation to generation. Nicky will grow and have a family. I'll be
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