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a grandma.”

“You've been a grandma. Remember, your future is my past. Destiny has given you a gift, korlyta -- a glimpse into your future. How many have that privilege?”

“I'll never have another child.”

“Why do you think not?”

“There's only one man in the universe I'd want to father my child -- you. You tell me you're sterile. It's left to Nicky to carry on, and I know he will.”

“He will so long as we do our part and help him walk his path.”

“So much is riding on his little shoulders. I feel badly he won't have siblings to lighten his load.”

“The Kyhana clan were never a particularly fecund bunch.”

“Nick, I love you. I know you haven't felt much love from me since Nicky was born.”

“It's not your fault. None of this was your fault.”

“I wanted you to know -- you're what keeps me going. I couldn't have without you.”

“Have you been thinking of suicide?”

“The thought is never far from my mind.”

“I hate hearing you talk like that.”

“But, it's the truth. After I slit my wrists you had me promise I'd think of you. Over the past two months there were a few times I came close -- then, I thought of you. I'd be dead without you, Nick. I'd have been long dead.”

“That's not your destiny, Suki.”

“How do you know? My duties toward Destiny have been discharged. I've given birth to Koichi's forebear. Destiny has no more need of me.”

“Not true. Nicky must be loved and nurtured so he'll grow into the man who'll father the next generation. Suki, I need your help with Nicky as much as you need mine.” He lay on his back. “Destiny needs both of us.” She reached across to hold him. He felt her body relax and her arms and legs twitch as she drifted into sleep. “I need you.”

Nyk sat holding Nicky. “How's the patient this morning?” Yasuko asked.

“Sleeping. She was pretty groggy last night, but we had a chance to talk -- the first good talk we've had since Nicky was born. I'm cautiously optimistic.”

“What are your plans today?”

“Back to the grind at the lab.”









13 -- Daphne Wallace



Nyk locked up the lab. He headed down a street lined with shops and storefronts, crossed an intersection and proceeded into his neighborhood. Footsteps approached him from behind. He ducked into the doorway of a corner diner and glanced in the window. He saw the reflection of two men who had stopped and were loitering by a lamppost.

He headed down the street again. The footfalls followed him. An MTA bus was closing its door. Nyk pushed his way onto it and slipped his transit card into the fare box. He took a seat in the middle and saw the two men standing on the sidewalk as the bus pulled into traffic. They were the two, he thought, whom he had encountered outside the Kyhana household.

The bus took him past the house. He pressed the stop request, stepped to the street and headed to the house from the opposite direction. Nyk let himself into the front door and saw Yasuko sitting in the living room with Nicky on her lap. He walked to her and took the baby. Nicky smiled and reached toward him. Nyk let the boy grab his finger. “How's our mom doing?” he asked.

“I think she's much better. She came down around mid-morning. She was alert. We talked, and she held Nicky. She even gave him some lunch.”

“Were her spirits better?”

“I'd say so. She didn't mope around. She seemed a bit subdued, but I attributed that to the medication.”

Nyk returned Nicky to her. “She seemed better last night, too. Where is she now?”

“She went upstairs for a while. She seemed calm and at peace.”

“Calm and at peace? Yasuko, that's how she gets when she's...”

Nyk sprinted up the stairs and into the apartment. “Suki?” He looked in the bedroom. She was lying on her back on the bed. Nyk looked at the nightstand. A glass half-full of water sat beside an empty pill bottle. Nyk picked it up and recognized it as the prescription he had filled earlier in the week.

He put his ear to her breast and listened for her heart. With his finger he probed her temple and found a strong pulse. Her breathing seemed deep and regular. He leaned close and looked at her face. Then, he pried up one of her eyelids.

“Nick! What are you doing?”

“Are you all right?”

“Of course I'm all right. I was just trying to take a little nap.”

He showed her the pill bottle. “Your mother said you were calm and at peace. I came up here and found this. I was worried...”

“You thought I was suicidal.”

“I feared you might be.”

Suki sat up, pulled open the nightstand drawer and withdrew a glass spice bottle filled with capsules. “I dumped them in here because I kept breaking my fingernails on the child-proof cap. Nicky has a few months before he'll start getting into things, so I thought it was safe enough.” Nyk took the bottle from her and examined it. “They're all there -- except for the eight I've taken over the past four days.”

He returned the bottle to the drawer and flopped on the bed beside her. She stroked his face and he kissed her forehead, then her lips. “I had forgotten how good kissing you feels,” she said.

“I hadn't.” He kissed her again and stroked her cheek. “We have some time before dinner. I know something else that feels good.”

“Maybe after dinner. I think I'll use the time to take a shower. I need one, and I'll bet you'd appreciate it, too.”

“Shall I have your mom set a place for you?”

She nodded. “Nick, a boulder's been lifted from me.”

“Welcome home, korlyta.”

Nyk lay on his back in bed. Suki stepped from the bathroom holding her hairbrush and with a hairclip in her teeth. She brushed her hair and fastened it into a ponytail. With a smile she slipped off her robe, stood sideways to him and ran her hand along her stomach.

“I see you have your figure back.”

“My figure and then some.” She pinched the skin on her abdomen and shook it. “Baby fat -- I'd like to lose twenty pounds.”

“Maybe we should start going to the 'Y' on weekends.”

“You'd come with me?”

“I'd do anything to help you.”

“Deal.” She slid into bed next to him. Nyk rolled to face her and began stroking her face. He looked into her eyes, leaned toward her and kissed her eyelids. “I'm nervous,” she said.

“About what?”

“After all this time ... I hope I remember how.”

“It's like learning to ride a bike,” he replied. “You never forget.”

“You have bikes on Floran?”

“Of course we do...” Nyk traced her eyebrows and caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. He took her hand and placed it on his chest.

Suki guided his hands onto her body. “Like this,” she said, guiding his fingers. “And, like this ... you have such a nice touch.” She drew in a deep breath, closed her eyes and released it slowly.

Nyk took her hand and guided it. “Like this ... and like this.” She stroked a tear from his cheek. “I was so afraid,” he said. “Afraid we'd never have this again.”

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. He kissed salty moistness from her cheeks. “I was terrified. Oh, Nick -- I never want to be that close to insanity again!” She kissed his shoulders and arms and guided his fingers. “Your touch is just right -- I feel your strength and your tenderness -- you're strong but gentle -- so sweet -- and, so patient with me. No one's ever been patient with me -- like you are.”

“Maybe no one's ever loved you as I do.”

“That's for sure, Nick. ...Mmm ... this feels so good ... so good...”

“Divide your mind.”

“Divide yours.”

He traded kisses and caresses with her. “What's your key this time?” she asked.

“You don't want to know,” he said with a smile. “I'll just say every time we make love I discover something about your body.”

“There's a Japanese proverb about two men -- a rich one and a poor one. The rich one spent a year exploring the world. The poor man spent a year exploring his garden.”

“I could explore your body for a lifetime and not see everything.” She pressed his hand against her breast and he could feel her heart racing.

Nyk rolled onto his back and opened his arms. “Over here,” she said, lying on her back. He lay atop her, gazed into her eyes and felt her hands gripping his shoulder blades. She wrapped her legs around his and closed her eyes. “Nick ... Nick,” she panted.

He held her shoulders, caressed the back of her head and kissed her. “Oh, Suki.” She kissed his tears from his cheeks. “I'm sorry. I didn't want to cry...”

“Don't ever feel shy about crying in front of me,” she replied.

He held her and wept, his body shaking with sobs. “I'm so happy to have you back.”

She looked into his face with tears streaming down hers. “It IS me you love. I felt it -- I felt the truth to it -- the absolute truth to it.” She sobbed with him.

“I told you -- I'd love you the same way even if Destiny hadn't chosen you for your role. I love Nicky and I love your parents. I love Andra. But, YOU are my life, korlyta. Zinta mu viva es. You are my life.”

He began to regain his composure and he stroked tears from her face. “Crying felt pretty good, didn't it?” she asked.

“It was a release -- after all we've been through.”

“Now you know good I feel after crying on your shoulder.” She leaned toward him and he kissed her lips.

Nyk held her beside him, his arm around her shoulders. He caressed her, pressed his lips to the top of her head and filled his nostrils with the fragrance of her hair. She let out a contented sigh and he could feel her body relax as she drifted to sleep.

A knock came at the door. “Sukiko? Nick?”

“Yes, Yasuko,” he said, pulling the covers up to his chin.

“Is everything all right?”

“Come in -- it's not locked.” He heard the door open. “We're in the bedroom. It's okay.”

Suki's mother poked her head through the door. “I thought I heard crying. I was concerned.”

“We're fine.” He brushed some of Suki's hair from her face and kissed her forehead. She cracked her eyes open. “We're fine, aren't we, korlyta?”

“Mmm,” she said, pulled herself against him and closed her eyes again.

Dawn's light roused Nyk. Suki still clutched him as she lay alongside. He kissed her cheek. “Good morning, korlyta. How did you sleep?”

“Deliciously. Did we sleep holding each other all night?”

“You wouldn't budge. If I tried to roll over, you held on tighter.”

“I'm not letting go of you. Nick, did my mother come into our bedroom last night?”

“Yes -- she heard us crying and was worried.”

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe we should start looking for someplace else to live. We'll never have any privacy here.”

“I like it here,” he replied. “I love feeling part of a family. It's sweet how your mom cares for you -- I could see a Floran mom behaving the same way. I love being close to your parents.”

“Even my father?”

“Even George. I'll bring you some breakfast.”

Nyk started to rise but Suki restrained him. “Nick -- last night...”

“Yes?”

“I enjoyed last night. I haven't enjoyed anything in weeks.” She leaned toward him and he met her lips with his.

Nyk sat down to a bowl of oatmeal. Yasuko smiled at him. “I'm happy to see you and Sukiko are getting back on track.”

“She's a long way from cured.”

“It looked like last night was a big step in the right direction -- don't you agree?”

Nyk nodded. “Yes, the Suki I fell in love with is emerging.”

“I'm pleased no end to see the happiness you bring her. To see her in

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