The Locked and The Lost by Julia Finch (reading in the dark TXT) 📕

"Well, I just came by to to tell you that we're having dinner in about an hour, so please wrap up here soon."

"Ok," I answer. "I just need to clean up and I'll be right there." I start to put the books back in the box, and my mom goes back out into the main building of the library. When I finish putting the books in the box I set them back on the shelf. I turn around and see the Cascadia book still lying on the floor. I pick it up and begin to set it back in the box, but then I don't. I'm not sure why, but I don't set in the box. Instead, I slip it into my backpack, and go back into the main building where I find my mom. 

"I'm ready," I say.

"uh huh" she says distractedly. She's looking at the history shelf, which means we might have to wait a little longer than expected until dinner. Colin definitely got his interest in history from my mom. I guess we both got an interest in history from her, we are just interested in different aspects of it. This realization surprises me. I'd never really thought of Colin and me as similar. Ever. I am beginning to wonder what else I may not have noticed about Colin and me, and for that matter, how I fit into my entire community, when my mom's voice startles me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, Ava" she says "I'm just geting distracted. Let's go home."

We head down the tunnels to our house in silence. My mom and I are both fairly quiet people, often getting lost in our thoughts. People don't always see me that way because I love to argue, but I think my mom gets it.  As we walk down the tunnels, I can't get my head wrapped around the fact that I neglected the idea of me being similar to Colin. I have always though of everyone being scornful of me because I ask questions and have a ridiculous dream, but now I realize that I may be doing the same thing. I know that my feeling of being an outsider has not been completely imagined by me, because I can recall some very angry conversations with teachers (Cough Cough, Mr. Morrison) and peers, but I wonder if I may have helped my loneliness along a bit. 

We arrive at our house, and find both my dad and my brother there. They sit on the gray couch reading the weekly paper.

"The milk arrived, Dana," my dad says. 

"Okay, thanks," my mom says. She goes into the kitchen and starts preparing dinner. She asks me and Colin to set the table. I start to walk to the dining room, but get distracted when I look out the window. It is sunset, and the brilliant lights paint the sky with mesmerizing colors. Colin chuckles at me when he sees what I'm doing. I begin to remember why I find him so infuriating.

My family eats dinner together and recounts their days. I tell them I found a good book, but not what it's about. I don't want a big family discussion about how I shouldn't be wasting my study hours with silly nonsense. Although it may be siily nonsense, as soon as dinner is over, I run to my room to read.

I take out the Cascadia book and open it to the back pages. It apears to be a diary. In the top left corner it reads, March 8, 2234. It's been more than 50 years since this was written. I continue to read. I just got placed in biological science yesterday. Lucky. I'm not sure what to think. I'm glad I'm in science, but my friends have always said that there's some dark secret around this specialty. The Council really needs to come up with a new name. It's not really a specialty if we're forced to do it. I still wish I had been selected for teaching, but I suppose the system wouldn't work very well if I could choose my job. Too bad they hadn't figure out that it does. I guess it might be fun to be in the mystery job. I can tell my friends all about the awful things they made me do. Of course, it will only be what they want to here. They are all a bit dramatic. That's all for tonight I guess. My mother says I must go to bed.

–Vemvane

What a strange name. I wonder what it means. The meanings of names are very important to our township, and most of the ones near us. My name means 'like a bird.' My mom says that it can take weeks to name a baby. My dad named me. He always said that I came flying into the world instead of walking.

The next entry looks more like a letter. It also apears to have been pasted on top of the page, because I can see the hardened brownish goo coming out from under the edge of the paper. I read on:

June 23, 2234

Dear Mbube, at last I have found you. The last few months seem almost unreal. When The Council told be you were gone, I could not believe it. They told me and your family that you were lost, as the you were a possession that had fallen from their pocket. I first found evidence that you were alive about a week after we were told you were dead. Your parents gave me the book that I showed you, and told me that it had been given to them by The Council. They did not question how they got it, because it had been hanging around your house for a while. They did not realize it's worth or that you would never take on a potentially dangerous trip. I took it and found your note. It took me a long time to figure out what it meant, but I eventually figured it out. I will explain further when I see you next. Yes, that's right, I am coming to find you. Chakide will take you this letter on his next trip back. I will have to leave not for another two weeks after because of some complications with family events. If I wait, they won't notice I've left until I'm long gone. We will meet again soon, my love.

–Vemvane

I begin to feel uncomfortable, like I'm listening in on someone's private conversation. Unfortunately for my comfort, my curiosity won me over. So many questions kept popping up in my head. Who were these people? Why were they being hidden in the back of a book? Why was The Council lying about someones death? I suppose the book could be wrong too. It could be a joke written by some kid, or a misunderstanding. I don't understand why, but I keep reading. I find myself believing Vemvane's story, even if I have no proof of her existence. I kept reading to the next page. This time, the letter was addressed to someone different.

July 1, 2234

Dear Nonkululeko,

I hope that I spelt the name correctly. When Mbube started calling me Venvane, I thought it was a joke, but now I realize I was mistaken. This is just my letter of notice. You will have a new citizen within the month. Chakide tells me it will take a little over two weeks to get to the pick up cite. I plan to be there as soon as I can. Mbube can tell you I am anything but a Council spy. Tell Mbube when I will arrive please.

–Vemvane

My mother comes into my room, and I snap the book shut. I decide in that moment not to tell anyone about the book until I know more about Vemvane and her strange fantastic land she's heading to. "Just checking on you." she said. "Thought you might want to know that it's the 25th tomorrow. One week until Choosing Day!"

"Really?" I ask, trying to mask my horror. After finding this book, I want choosing day to be as far away as possible. I need to learn more about The Council's reason for faking Mbube's death.

"Yeah, I thought you'd be more excited. You've been waiting to start the job of your dreams since you were like, 4."

I try to think up an excuse. "Oh, sorry. I'm just tired. I've been studying for my finals. They happen on Friday, so I've been studying a lot." She seems to buy it, and leaves.

I go back to the book and find the next date. It's a journal entry again.

July 8, 2234

I've picked up my bicycle from the shop downtown. Chakide modified it so that it can collapse into a tiny square. He also gave me a compass so I could find Missoula. He said to keep a journal of my journey, and that if I came across any 'green' areas as he put it, to mark down my approximate location. I don't know how I'll ever find Cascadia, but I here that I'll have to cross a mountain range called Rockies. Very original for a mountain range.  Still, I'm slightly terrified of the prospect of the big, towering mountains and me climbing them by myself. My bike works pretty well, and it is very light, because it's made from recycled titanium. I have only been gone a day, and already I have seen more trees than ever before in my life. Not that that's saying much. I've only ever seen the two outside the windows of the schoolhouse. I must sleep now, so I am ready in the morning. It is very difficult to sleep out here. I must sleep on top of my bag, because the ground is so hard.

By this point I realize that Vemvane is not talking about a trip through the tunnels. She means actually going outside. As in, not being inside. I don't understand how this could happen. Wouldn't she get sick? wouldn't she die from the toxins?

I look at my clock and realize that I have to go to bed now or I won't get any sleep at all. I turn off the lights and try to go to sleep, but the information is too much. There is no way I can stop now.  I reopen the book and keep reading for a couple more hours.

The next several entries are still from Vemvane and about her journey. She describes the scenery, describing every bug to its very last detail. The entries gradually get shorter and shorter as the trip continues. When she reaches a place called Montana, her writing becomes more detailed once again. She keeps saying, just a little while longer. another day or two. On the last journal entry, she writes "I have reached Cascadia. I have made it." That's all there is on the last entry.

My body swells with hope, and excitment. Could there really be a way outside? Is this just a story made up my some kids, or are Vemvane and Mbube real, living out there in this place called Cascadia? There are a few more pages after the journal ends. They include a list of supplies, a time, and a place that I recognize. The location is the name of a bakery in town, the time is much later than the closing time though. I wonder what would happen if I went to the bakery one night. Would I meet one of these people from the journal or from the letters. My eyes slowly close as I process all of this information. My breathing evens, and my body relaxes. 1:00am, Matt's, I think, repeating it over and over again in my mind. 1:00, Matts.