Agent to the Stars by John Scalzi (read me like a book .TXT) 📕

“This isn’t a committee,” Martin said.

“How about we do this,” Miranda said. “You stay. We leave. We explain to the producers that we left because of you. The producers fire your company from the film. And then your company fires you.”

At this point, Miranda swears, Martin actually snarled. Miranda grabbed a stool from one of the work benches and took a seat. Michelle reached over for Miranda’s hand. Miranda gave it.

About five minutes later, as Martin applied the latex, Miranda spoke up again. “How is she going to breathe?” she asked, to Martin.

“What?” Martin said, spackling Michelle with a frosting knife.

“You’re about to cover her nose with latex.” Miranda said. “Once you do that, Michelle won’t be able to breathe. Shouldn’t you be thinking about these things?”

“Don’t tell me my fucking job,” Martin said, but went to find a couple of breathing straws for Michelle. As Martin covered Michelle’s nose and eyes with latex, Michelle squeezed hard on Miranda’s hand. Miranda squeezed back.

After Martin finished, she stepped back and turned to Miranda. “That’s going to take about three hours to dry,” she said. “She can’t move between now and then.”

“Where are you going?” Miranda asked.

“I have to make some phone calls,” Martin said.

“You should stay here,” Miranda said.

“Why?” Martin said. “You’re here, aren’t you?” She looked at Michelle again. “You know, she’s my husband’s favorite actress. He’s such an asshole.” And she walked out.

Over the next half hour, Miranda slowly aware that the chicken burrito she had at El Loco Taco was doing terrifying things to her digestive tract. At first she ignored it, but near the end of the half-hour, Miranda felt the line between discomfort and peritonitis had become tissue-thin.

“Michelle, I have to find a bathroom,” she said.

Michelle’s grip on Miranda’s hand suddenly became vise-tight.

“I’ll go as fast as I can,” Miranda said, pried her hand loose, and went to find the bathroom.

It was back near the reception area. On the way there, she saw Martin in an office, screaming into another phone. She thought about asking her to go back and check on Michelle. Then Martin grabbed the phone and hurled it furiously across the room. Miranda decided against it. In the bathroom, Miranda discovered just exactly what the burrito did to her; it was about ten minutes before she was done.

Miranda was walking back to the latex room when she saw Martin standing outside of it, with the door open. As she got closer, Martin heard her steps, turned around and yelled. “It’s not my fault!”

“What are you talking about?” Miranda said. Then she looked into the room and saw.

Michelle was out of a chair and sprawled on the floor for the second time that day. This time, however, things were much worse. There was creature debris all over the floor. A can of latex lay on its side, its contents flowing out. Miranda looked up and saw the wreckage of a set of shelves; they had collapsed. Miranda’s gaze went back down to the floor and she noticed a glint of red on the bottom of the latex can. Then she noticed the small pool of blood near Michelle’s head.

“Oh shit,” she said, and pushed Martin out of the way to get to Michelle.

Michelle sprawled face down; Miranda checked quickly to see if she had broken any bones, and then turned her over. That’s when she saw that Michelle’s breathing straws had fallen out and the latex had closed up over Michelle’s nostrils. Michelle was suffocating.

Miranda immediately dug her fingers into the latex and began tearing it off from Michelle’s face. Her lips were blue when Miranda ripped the latex away. Miranda got down in the latex and blood, reached a hand underneath Michelle’s neck to lift it up, then began mouth-to-mouth.

“She wasn’t supposed to move!” Martin said.

“Damn it,” Miranda said, and checked for Michelle’s pulse. It was there, faint and fast. “Call 911,” she said, to Martin.

“Why weren’t you watching her?” Martin demanded. “This isn’t my fault.”

Miranda launched herself at Martin, grabbed her, and slammed her against a wall. “I want you to do two things,” she said to the cowering Martin. “First, shut the hell up. Second. I want you to get on the phone, call 911, and get an ambulance here, now. Do it, or I swear to you, I’ll rip out your fucking heart. Do it. Now.”

She let Martin go. Martin goggled at her for a second, then grabbed the phone and called 911. Miranda got back down on the floor and kept up the mouth-to-mouth for another ten minutes, until the paramedics arrived and pulled her off.

*****

What we didn’t know is what happened between the time Miranda left and when she came back. The most logical sequence of events has Michelle, claustrophobic, getting up from the chair in a blind panic, accidentally running into the shelves, being knocked unconscious from the falling debris and then suffocating when the latex covered her nostrils. It was the scenario that the Pomona police, in examining the scene and questioning both Miranda and Judy Martin, latched onto and were going forward with.

There was one small problem. Miranda said that she didn’t recall seeing the breathing straws around Michelle when she was giving her mouth-to-mouth. This might mean nothing, of course: when you’re busily trying to save someone’s life, you’re not going to take the time to notice all the minutiae around you. But it might also mean that the breathing straws came out earlier. And that opens up other possibilities.

For Miranda, who had to be physically restrained by the paramedics from killing Judy Martin, the answer was simple: Martin’s slipshod preparation had allowed the breathing straws to fall out. Michelle, frantic, reached for them, got up to get help, collided with the shelves, and got brained. I also thought Miranda may have suspected Martin of pulling the straws herself, as misplaced revenge against her estranged husband’s favorite actress, but that was a little far-fetched for me.

My own suspicions were also far-fetched, but not nearly enough for my own comfort: I thought that Michelle, in her depressed state, might have pulled the straws herself, in a melodramatic and not-too-well-thought-out suicide attempt. Either she expected Miranda to come back and panicked when Miranda didn’t arrive on cue, or she was sincere, and halfway through realized that suffocation was a nasty way to go. Either way, that’s when she got up out of the chair.

And that’s when I think her autosuggestion kicked in, knocking her out just in time to crash into the shelves. The only good thing I could possibly see out of this scenario was that she was already out of it when she was hit by the can of latex. She would have felt no pain.

No matter how you sliced it, however, Michelle was lying in a hospital bed, respirator down her throat.

*****

I arrived over an hour after Miranda called; when I announced on the set that I had to take Joshua with me, I had to deal with both threats and begging on the part of the crew. I told them if they could do the scene in exactly five minutes, I would wait. In the meantime, I called Carl’s office and told Marcella to have him call me as soon as possible. After that, there was no one else to call; Michelle had been an only child, and both her parents were dead. She wasn’t married. As far as I knew, I was the person on the planet closest to her. At that moment, that stuck me as the saddest thing I’d ever heard.

Joshua pegged the scene in one take, and immediately bounded towards my Honda; we screeched off without a goodbye and raced to the 210, got to the 10 by way of the 605, and then sat in evening rush hour traffic for 45 minutes. Carl called; I filled him in on the situation, and he said he’d make some phone calls. I had no idea what that meant, but it made me feel better. I eventually got off the 10 and made it to the Pomona Valley Hospital on surface streets, quicker than if I had stayed on the freeway.

I understood the power of Carl’s phone calls when I saw a man in a suit looking for me in the emergency area.

“Tom Stein?” he said.

“Yes,” I said.

“I’m Mike Mizuhara,” he said, extending his hand. I shook it. “Chief of staff for Pomona Valley.”

“Where is Michelle?” I asked.

“She’s in ICU right now; I’ll take you to her immediately. But we have to do something with your dog,” he pointed to Joshua.

“What? Oh. I’m sorry,” I said. “I almost forgot he was with me.”

“No problem,” Mizuhara said. “Why don’t we take him to my office. He can wait there.” We headed toward his office.

“Has the press arrived yet?” I asked. I had been surprised not to see any reporters in the emergency room; news of these sorts of things usually got around quickly.

“No press so far,” Mizuhara said. “The paramedics didn’t know who it was because she had a whole bunch of stuff…latex?….all over her face when she came in. The doctors working on her either didn’t recognize her or didn’t care who she was when they got all of it off her. Then I got a call from Carl about it. We’ve got her registered under Jane Doe at the moment. She arrived just after a shift change. The next shift change is at two am. With any luck, we should be able to keep this quiet until morning. By that time, our press folks will be ready. Carl also wanted me to let you know he’s on his way himself as soon as he can. He’s asked us to clear a space for his helicopter in our parking lot.”

“Carl is amazing,” I said.

“Sure is,” Mizuhara said. “But then, I owe him one. He gave my son a job at Century Pictures just before he left. Now my son is vice-president in charge of development. I never thought he’d ever get a job. Carl can use me any time. Here’s the office,” he opened the door.

I walked Joshua inside; Joshua gave me a significant look which I knew meant that he had something to say to me. I asked Mizuhara to give me a minute to reassure my dog and then bent down.

“What?” I said.

“Try to get me in to see Michelle at some point,” Joshua said. “I can scan her if you want. Find out what really happened, at least.”

“Thanks, Joshua,” I said, and got up to go.

“Will he be okay in there?” Mizuhara asked.

“Sure,” I said. “Don’t worry. He’s house-trained. Let’s go see Michelle.”

Michelle was on the third floor, in a private room in ICU. Miranda was waiting in the hallway; she rushed to me when she saw me coming.

“Oh, Tom,” she said. “I’m so sorry. This is my fault. I’m sorry.”

“Shhh,” I said. “It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s all right.”

“Actually, Miss Escalon saved her life,” Mizuhara said. “From what I understand, her mouth to mouth kept Miss Beck alive until the paramedics got there.”

“Hear that?” I said, to Miranda. “You’re a lifesaver for sure. I think that deserves another raise, don’t you?”

Miranda gave a little laugh and then started crying again. I hugged her.

I spent a few minutes with Miranda, getting her version of events, and then went with Mizuhara to see Michelle. She was the only patient in a semi-private room with three beds. Her head was bandaged; the sounds in the room were of a heart monitor and the sound of a respirator inflating and deflating. It was a